SCENE ONE: EVERYBODY IS LEAVING FOR ITALY TO JOIN THE CRUISE. JENNIFER IS AT THE LOFT PACKING HER LAST FEW ITEMS WHEN THERE IS A LOUD KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

 

JENNIFER: Hold on, hold on. I'll get it.

BODYGUARD: I'll get it.

 

THE BODYGUARD OPENS THE DOOR AND JACK IS STANDING THERE WITH A CAMERA BAG OVER HIS SHOULDER.

 

JACK: (In full Happy-Jack mode.) Hi there! I'm the guy who hired you. Remember me?

 

HE PULLS OUT AN ENVELOPE.

 

JACK: Now, there's enough money in this little packet to set you up in a little villa in the South of France for the rest of your life.

JENNIFER: Jack what are you doing?

JACK: I'm ending a relationship.

JENNIFER: He's my bodyguard Jack.

JACK: Just for now but that's going to change. Have a little patience.

 

JACK MANEUVERS HIMSELF INSIDE AND THE BODYGUARD OUTSIDE.

 

JACK: Now, answer this simple question. Did she give you a hard time?

BODYGUARD: Easier than most.

JACK: Oh! Doesn't sound like our Jennifer.

JENNIFER: Jack you are not going to fire him.

JACK: Don't worry about it. He's being replaced.

JENNIFER: With who?

JACK: With moi!

JENNIFER: You!

BODYGUARD: You!

JACK: Alright, that's it from the peanut gallery. Don't spend it all in one place.

 

JACK PULLS ONE NOTE OUT OF THE ENVELOPE, HANDS IT THE GUY AND SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT.

 

JENNIFER: I don't believe it, what you just did. You don't know the first thing about being a bodyguard.

JACK: Hey who's on the outside and who's on the inside. Now get packing.

JENNIFER: Jack I want my bodyguard back.

JACK: You can't have him back. Have you started packing?

JENNIFER: Look Jack if you're going to be my bodyguard, you stand outside like Jake does then.

JACK: These are the two buzz words of packing. Tropical and exotical.

JENNIFER: Jack don't you have anything better to do than try to be my bodyguard?

JACK: I don't know why women have so much trouble when it comes to packing. I don't.

JENNIFER: Oh Jack, do you have any room in that camera bag for....

JACK: NO! NO! Unless your bikini is very small, no.

JENNIFER: Jack it's for my camera.

JACK: Well then there is definitely no room, no, no, no.

JENNIFER: Jack, my camera is smaller than my bikini.

JACK: Well then wrap your bikini around it and hang it around your neck.

 

SHE LEANS OVER TO TOUCH THE BAG AND HE STOPS HER.

 

JACK: NO! NO! I said no.

JENNIFER: Alright, well I'll just go and get my camera and see if it is too big.

JACK: Oh, I bet Freud would have a field day with that. Okay, we'll have it your way. We'll just open it up and you can put your big old camera in there and we'll see if it will fit.

 

JENNIFER HAS PRETENDED TO WALK AWAY TO GET HER CAMERA BUT REALLY IS HIDING BEHIND THE TABLE.

 

JACK: Don't worry about a thing because I'm sure there'll be some room in here. I'll just....

 

JACK OPENS UP AN INSIDE POCKET IN THE BAG AND REMOVES THE MISSING DIARY PAGES. JENNIFER POUNCES UP TO SURPRISE HIM.

 

JENNIFER: AH HUH!

JACK: HUH!

JENNIFER: I knew it. You hid the diary pages in a secret pocket didn't you Jack?

JACK: No, no. Stay alive, stay alive.

JENNIFER: JACK! JACK!

 

JACK IS HOLDING THE PAGES IN HIS RIGHT HAND AND MOVING THEM UP AND DOWN SO SHE CANNOT REACH THEM. HE RAISES HIS HAND ONCE AGAIN AND SHE REACHES UP BUT CANNOT REACH.

 

JACK: Shall we dance?

JENNIFER: This is not going to work. Give those to me Jack.

JACK: No, no, get your hands....and height wins the day!

JENNIFER: Taking those on the cruise is really stupid, you know that.

JACK: Oh you think it's a lot better to keep them in my bedroom that is getting constantly ransacked.

JENNIFER: Well if they did that to your bedroom think what they could do to you on a cruise ship with no way out Jack.

JACK: Well you talk about subtilely stupid. These pages are bargaining chips. They're like nations with nuclear power.

JENNIFER: Oh, so you're saying the guy with the biggest gun wins?

JACK: Exactly! Exactly! As long as I keep these puppies safe, I've got the biggest gun.

 

JENNIFER GIVES HIM A WRY AND SARCASTIC LOOK.

 

JENNIFER: No comment.

JACK: Well they would have been a hell of a lot safer in my pocket, I know that.

JENNIFER: Do you think they're going to be safe and secret in your pants?

JACK: Well they would have been a lot better if you hadn't been so nosey. I could have kept them inside the pocket in my bag.

JENNIFER: Great, exactly where I couldn't see them.

JACK: That's right.

JENNIFER: Show me where Jack.

JACK: Okay, I'll show you my brilliance. Check this out.

 

HE OPENS THE BAG AND SHOWS HER THE SECRET POCKET.

 

JACK: A secret compartment. You got that. See!

JENNIFER: You're really into these secret compartments aren't you?

JACK: I sure am.

JENNIFER: I wonder what Freud would have to say about that.

JACK: He probably would have said, Jack, go for it! And beware of all women. One of them could be your mother.

JENNIFER: Jack I think you're the one that needs the bodyguard.

JACK: I know what I'm doing. You just get packed.

 

JACK LOCKS THE BAG AND PUTS THE KEY IN HIS POCKET. HOWEVER THE CHAIN ATTACHED TO THE KEY IS HANGING OUT AND JENNIFER NOTICES IT. THE PHONE BEGINS TO RING AND JENNIFER DOES NOT SEEM TO NOTICE.

 

JACK: Are you going to answer that or I am going to have to call Mr. Freud.

JENNIFER: You know what Jack, you get it because I do. I have a lot of packing I have to finish. So you get the phone.

JACK: Jennifer, I....

JENNIFER: You get it.

JACK: I said bodyguard, not secretary. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Jennifer Horton Enterprises. What kind of enterprises? Oh well, I don't know. You know we've got holdings all over the country and all over the world.

 

WHILE JACK IS DISTRACTED ON THE PHONE JENNIFER SNEAKS OVER AND SLIPS THE KEY OUT OF HIS POCKET. SHE GOES OVER TO THE BAG AND UNLOCKS IT AND REMOVES THE PAGES.

 

JACK: We've got some holdings in Sweden. I'm sure you'd like those and a couple in Thailand too. Oh yeah, we're big. I'm sure we're bigger than you are buddy. (Beat) Oh yeah, you think so. Listen maybe I could....just a minute, just a minute. Yeah. Oh no I got no problems. Just a moment. Jennifer, it's your boss. He wants....

 

JENNIFER IS RUNNING OUT THE DOOR.

 

JENNIFER: Take a message.

JACK: Where are you going?

JENNIFER: I have to say goodbye to Emilio. Bye.

JACK: Okay.

 

SHE LEAVES AND HE GOES BACK TO THE PHONE CALL.

 

JACK: I have just been instructed to take a message. You want me to have her pick you up at....let me get this down...I got it....I got it....I don't got it. She got it.

 

JACK LOOKS OVER AND SEES THE OPEN BAG AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER HAS TAKEN THE PAGES.

 

JACK: Jennifer! Jennifer! Come on. That's it!

 

JACK DROPS THE PHONE, GRABS THE BAG AND HIS KEYS AND HEADS OUT THE DOOR.

SCENE TWO: JENNIFER GOES TO SEE NEIL BUT HE HIS NOT IN HIS OFFICE. INSTEAD MAGGIE IS THERE. SHE GIVES JENNIFER THE PACKET THAT NEIL LEFT FOR HER. MAGGIE QUESTIONS JENNIFER'S DESIRE TO MARRY EMILIO. JENNIFER SAYS THAT IT IS WHAT SHE WANTS. JSHE LEAVES, WHEN SHE GETS OUTSIDE SHE OPENS THE PACKET AND IT IS A DIAPHRAGM.

SCENE THREE: MEANWHILE, HOPE IS WORRIED THAT BO SEEMS TO BE PUSHING HER AWAY AND DECIDES TO GO ON THE CRUISE AS WELL. SHE DOESN'T TELL ANYBODY THAT SHE'S GOING BUT SHE LEAVES SHAWN DOUGLAS WITH STEVE AND KAYLA AND LEAVES FOR ITALY.

SCENE FOUR: JENNIFER ARRIVES BACK AT THE LOFT WHERE ISABELLA IS TALKING TO VICTOR. JENNIFER IS VERY NERVOUS. VICTOR LEAVES. JENNIFER ASKS ISABELLA WHAT VICTOR WANTED. SHE SAYS THAT HE WAS JUST UP TO HIS OLD TRICKS AND SHE WILL NOT FALL FOR THEM AGAIN. SUDDENLY THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR AND IT CAUSES JENNIFER TO DROP HER BAG AND THE ENVELOPE CONTAINING THE PAGES. ISABELLA PICKS THEM UP FOR HER AND HURRIES TO ANSWER THE DOOR. IT IS JACK AND HE SEES THE ENVELOPE IN ISABELLA'S HAND.

 

ISABELLA: Jack!

JACK: Isabella, what a....pleasant surprise!

 

JACK CANNOT TAKE HIS EYES OFF THE ENVELOPE CONTAINING THE PAGES.

 

ISABELLA: Well don't just stand there come on in.

JACK: HUH!

ISABELLA: Is there some reason you don't want to come in?

JACK: In? No....yeah....no. Is that envelope for me? I had no idea. Thank you so much.

 

HE REACHES OUT FOR THE ENVELOPE BUT ISABELLA TURNS TO GIVE IT TO JENNIFER. HOWEVER JACK IS QUICKER AND TALLER AND HE GRABS IT.

 

ISABELLA: No actually it's Jennifer's.

JACK: I'll hold it for you.

JENNIFER: Jack you don't have to do that.

JACK: Don't you have some packing to do?

JENNIFER: Jack let me just have it. I'll hold it.

JACK: No, I don't think so.

ISABELLA: What's in the envelope anyway.

 

JACK AND JENNIFER BEGIN ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS TOGETHER BUT WITH DIFFERENT ANSWERS.

 

JACK: It's a story.

JENNIFER: It's insurance forms.

JACK: It's a story. It's a story.

JENNIFER: For an insurance fraud story and Jack's helping me do research for it.

 

JACK AND JENNFIER ARE SAVED BY SOMEONE AT THE DOOR.

 

JACK: It's a story about insurance fraud. It's the door, why don't you get it?

JENNIFER: It's the door.

 

WHILE ISABELLA GOES TO ANSWER THE DOOR, JACK STUFFS THE ENVELOPE DOWN INTO HIS PANTS. JENNIFER IS ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING.

 

JACK: Shhhhh!

 

IT IS ROMAN AT THE DOOR; HE IS THERE TO PICK UP ISABELLA.

 

ROMAN: Hi.

JACK: Hi Roman.

JENNIFER: Hi Roman.

ROMAN: Excuse me a second.

 

ROMAN ASKS ISABELLA IF SHE WOULD LIKE TO SHARE A CAR WITH HIM TO THE AIRPORT. ISABELLA SEEMS RELUCTANT UNTIL JACK TAKES OVER.

 

JACK: Oh no, no, no. Oh no, I think that would be a fabulous idea.

 

JACK PICKS UP A COUPLE OF BAGS AND RUSHES TO THE DOOR.

 

JENNIFER: Jack they're my suitcases. I think that would be a great idea too.

ISABELLA: You do?

 

JENNIFER RUSHES TO THE DOOR WITH ISABELLA'S BAGS; THEY BOTH HUSTLE ROMAN AND ISABELLA OUT THE DOOR.

 

JACK: Here you go. Roman, go catch a plane. This will be so great.

JENNIFER: I wish I was as packed as you.

JACK: I wish you were too. Have a good time.

 

JACK SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT.

 

JACK: I can't believe you'd just give away the pages like that, like they're nothing.

JENNIFER: Jack I didn't give them away. I took them from you for your own good.

JACK: What are you going to do? Put them in a little quilt.

JENNIFER: Well it's better than in your camera bag or in your pants!

JACK: Let me tell you one thing. In my pants at least I know that you can't get your hands on them, I think!

JENNIFER: This is great, this is great. A human target on a sea cruise. When they come after you, don't come crying to me Jack.

JACK: Are you finished?

JENNIFER: No, no, I have a lot more I have to say to you about this whole thing.

JACK: No, no, are you finished packing?

JENNIFER: Yes, yes, I am. Are you happy?

JACK: I won't be happy til this whole thing is over. Come on.

 

HE PICKS UP JENNIFER'S BAGS AND THEY ARE VERY HEAVY.

 

JACK: Oooooh! Boy, yi, yi! Get that last bag there alright.

JENNIFER: Alright.

JACK: Alright, come up, hurry up. You've got three minutes.

JENNIFER: Alright, I just want to make sure that I've got everything I need.

JACK: Okay, hurry!

 

SHE WAITS UNTIL JACK IS OUT THE DOOR THEN SHE LEANS DOWN AND TAKES A GUN OUT FROM UNDER THE COUCH AND PUTS IT IN HER BAG. THEN SHE TAKES THE DIAPHRAGM OUT OF HER HANDBAG AND PUTS IT IN HER BAG AS WELL.

 

JENNIFER: Okay, here we go. Right here we go. That's everything I need.

 

SHE ZIPS UP THE BAG AND HURRIES OUT THE DOOR.

SCENE FIVE: CRUISE GUESTS ARE NOW BOARDING THE PLANE TO ITALY. JULIE IS SEATED NEXT TO VICTOR; ISABELLA IS NEXT TO ROMAN. BO IS ALSO ON BOARD. IT APPEARS THAT HOPE HAS DECIDED NOT TO GO. JACK AND JENNIFER HAVE JUST SAT DOWN. HE IS IN THE WINDOW SEAT AND SHE ON THE AISLE.

 

JACK: In case you haven't noticed they've seating us together.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Enjoy your flight.

JENNIFER: Thanks.

JACK: (Sarcastically) We will! Yes.

JENNIFER: Well that's a nice way to start off the trip, huh.

JACK: That's one thing we agree on today.

JENNIFER: It's bad enough we have to be on the cruise ship together.

JACK: Yeah, we're going to be flying together too.

 

DESPITE WHAT THEY SAY, THEY ARE NOT ANNOYED ABOUT THE SITUATION.

 

JENNIFER: I'm getting a headache Jack.

 

SHE TAKES SOME PILLS FROM HER PURSE.

 

JACK: Yeah me too. I need some peanuts. How about some aspirin? Have you got any aspirin for me?

 

HE PUTS HIS HAND OUT.

 

JENNIFER: Do I have to share everything with you Jack?

 

HE LOOKS AT HER WITH A SULKY HURT FACE.

JACK: Well!

 

SHE HANDS HIM SOME ASPIRIN AND THEY CHAT. ISABELLA IS HANDED A LETTER FROM HER FATHER AND SHE READS IT TO EVERYBODY. JENNIFER TAKES NOTES AS THE LETTER IS READ. WHEN ISABELLA READS THE LINE ABOUT TRUE LOVE JENNIFER LOOKS ACROSS AT JACK WHO IMMEDIATELY LOOKS STRAIGHT AHEAD.

 

ISABELLA: "This cruise came about because of a great love. The love I had for my beloved wife Loretta. I've always believed in the course of true love. It guides us all even when we try to deny. It is my hope that you as my guests will find true love of your own on this romantic journey that I am taking you on."

SCENE SIX: ON BOARD THE LORETTA, ERNESTO TOSCANO IS PLANNING HIS REVENGE.

 

SCENE ONE: JACK IS SITTING IN AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT STUDYING AN ITALIAN/ENGLISH DICTIONARY. HE IS HOLDING IT UPSIDE DOWN.

 

JACK: I don't know how to order this. Ah....eggs. Du....

 

HE HOLDS UP TWO FINGERS JUST AS A BUXOM WAITRESS COMES ALONG. AS HE LOOKS AT HER HIS FINGERS ARE IN LINE WITH HER BUST.

 

JACK: (Nervous laugh) Heheheh. Make that an omelette.

 

THE WAITRESS ASKS HIM WHAT HE WANTS IN ITALIAN, HIS ITALIAN IS VERY SAD.

 

JACK: Ah....dice.....ah....ah....I don't know. Let me see....ah....un momento por favore. Where is that? I never learnt how to speak Italian very well.

 

HE THUMBS THROUGH THE DICTIONARY AND CAUTIOUSLY READS ALOUD.

 

JACK: Ah....me....no hablo.....Italiano! Beurno.

WAITRESS: Ah capice, Inglese, no!

JACK: English, English, sí, sí, oui, oui!

WAITRESS: I speak a little English myself.

JACK: Good, good. Now I can order breakfast without inadvertently proposing.

WAITRESS: You are eating alone?

 

THE WAITRESS IS TAKEN BY JACK AND IS FLIRTING WITH HIM.

 

JACK: Ah well no. Actually I'm waiting for somebody.

 

AT THIS MOMENT JENNIFER WALKS IN THE DOOR. SHE PAUSES TO LISTEN TO JACK.

 

WAITRESS: Somebody special?

JACK: Well....

WAITRESS: This someone you are waiting for, she is special, no?

JACK: No, I mean she's.....she's.....well I don't know. (Realizing that there is no other answer but "yes.") Yes I guess she is special.

WAITRESS: Then where is she then. You wait a very long time.

JACK: I don't know where she is. I guess she is in her room.

WAITRESS: You mean you're not yet....Come dice....together?

JACK: Together?

 

THE WAITRESS PUTS DOWN THE MENU AND CLASPS HER HANDS TOGETHER. JENNIFER CONTINUES TO LISTEN WITH INTEREST. SHE IS AMUSED BY JACK'S NERVOUSNESS.

 

WAITRESS: Amore! Amore!

JACK: Amore! Oh, (Nervous laugh) heheheheh. Come on, no, no, no. That's not right. Jennifer's not that kind of a girl.

WAITRESS: Oh scusa signore. What kind of girl is she?

 

JENNIFER IS STILL STANDING AT THE DOOR, AND IS SMILING BECAUSE WHAT JACK HAS SAID. SUDDENLY A HAND COMES ROUND OVER HER MOUTH AND PULLS HER OUT THE DOOR.

 

JACK: (Jack becomes concerned) You know you're right. I am waiting a long time. Jennifer, where the hell are you?

SCENE TWO: IN ITALY, VICTOR TELLS BO HOW MUCH LORETTA MEANT TO HIM. HE TELLS BO THAT HE DOES NOT WANT HIM TO JEOPARDIZE HIS MARRIAGE JUST TO BE WITH HIM ON THE CRUISE. BO SAYS THAT HE WILL STAND BY VICTOR BECAUSE HE IS HIS REAL FATHER. VICTOR ASKS JULIE TO HELP HIM GET HOPE ON BOARD, BUT BO OVERHEARS THEM AND REFUSES TO ALLOW HOPE ON BOARD. BO IS STILL PRETENDING TO BE JOHNNY, PRETENDING TO BE BO. THE REAL REASON THAT BO DOES NOT WHAT HOPE TO JOIN THE CRUISE IS BECUSE HE KNOWS THAT ERNESTO IS ALIVE AND HE IS AFRAID OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN. HE IS WORKING WITH ERNESTO IN SECRET SO THAT HE CAN FIND OUT WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON WITH VICTOR AND LORETTA.

SCENE THREE: ROMAN AND ISABELLA BOARD THE SHIP. SHE IS SO EXCITED BECAUSE SHE THINKS THAT THE CRUISE INDICATES HOW MUCH HER PARENTS LOVED EACH OTHER. ISABELLA IS ASKED TO MAKE A SPEECH AT THE OPENING CEREMONY OF THE CRUISE.

SCENE FOUR: JACK IS STILL WAITING FOR JENNIFER.

 

WAITER: Oh Signor Deveraux.

JACK: That's right, right here.

WAITER: A telephone call for you.

JACK: Oh grazie. Grazie to both of you.

 

JACK WALKS OVER TO THE PHONE.

 

JACK: Yes, Jack Deveraux.

MAN: (On the Phone) I want the pages.

JACK: Uh, you want what?

 

WE CROSS TO THE MAN ON THE PHONE WHO IS HOLDING HIS HAND OVER JENNIFER'S MOUTH.

 

MAN: The diary pages. You have them, I want them.

JACK: Ah....I don't know what you're talking about.

MAN: Bring them to the pier at the end of the Viale Primavera and be quick about. Presto.

JACK: Now wait a minute. Not that I have what you're talking about but if I did have what you're talking about which I don't, why....why would I bring it to you. I mean I don't know you.

MAN: But I know you and your girlfriend.

 

JENNIFER TRIES TO CALL JACK'S NAME.

 

JENNIFER: Jaaaack!

JACK: Jennifer, Jennifer is that you?

MAN: Well signore.

JACK: I....I'm gone.

 

JACK WORRIED ABOUT JENNIFER, PUTS DOWN THE PHONE AND RUNS OUTSIDE.

SCENE FIVE: HE ARRIVES AT THE ARRANGED MEETING PLACE.

 

JACK: I thought you were supposed to be here.

JENNIFER: JACK! JACK!

MAN: Do you have the pages Signore?

JACK: Yeah I've got the pages if you let her go.

MAN: First the pages, then the signorina goes free.

 

THE MAN IS HOLDING A KNIFE TO JENNIFER'S THROAT.

 

JACK: Okay, okay. I'm going to give you what you want. Now don't worry I'm just....I've got them here in my pants. Don't worry. I'm just....take it easy. See, giving you the pages.

 

THE GUY LUNGES FOR THE PAGES. JENNIFER TAKES THAT OPPORTUNITY TO BELT THE GUY. HE FALLS TO THE GROUND.

 

JACK: Jennifer, wait a minute. We're not Italian. We can't....

JENNIFER: We've got to jump. We've got to jump.

JACK: Wait a minute.

 

JENNIFER TAKES JACK'S HAND; THEY JUMP IN THE WATER.

 

JACK: AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!

SCENE SIX: A SHORT TIME LATER THEY BOTH WALK BACK INTO THE RESTAURANT SOAKING WET.

 

JENNIFER: We both look like a couple of drowned rats.

 

JACK GRABS A RED CHECKERED TABLECLOTH TO USE FOR A TOWEL, AND GIVES IT TO JENNIFER

 

JACK: Scusa. Here. Don't say drowned. That's too close to the mark.

JENNIFER: No kidding Jack.

 

HE STEALS ANOTHER TABLE CLOTH FOR HIMSELF.

 

JENNIFER: The man was pretty fierce out there.

JACK: Oh, listen, it was either face the briny deep, I guess, or face Guido and his little knife.

JENNIFER: Yeah well at least we got away from that guy anyway, right.

JACK: Yeah for the time being.

JENNIFER: Why Jack? We gave him what he wanted. Why should he bother us anymore?

JACK: Oh I don't know, no reason really.

JENNIFER: You know Jack I do have to say that it really means a lot to me the sacrifice you made to save me.

 

JACK IS BECOMING MORE NERVOUS AND UNCOMFORTABLE, AS IF HE IS HIDING SOMETHING FROM HER.

JACK: Sacrifice?

 

JENNIFER IS PLEASED THAT JACK WOULD SACRIFICE THE PAGES FOR HER, MAKING HER BELIEVE THAT HE *DOES* CARE ABOUT HER.

 

JENNIFER: Jack, the pages! I mean I know how important they are to you and keeping the secret from Isabella and everything but when it came down to it and you thought I was in danger you just handed those pages over without even thinking about it. Now I know that you really care about me.

JACK: Um....Jennifer....

JENNIFER: (Hurt) You don't care about me.

JACK: No I didn't say that.

JENNIFER: Then you do care about me.

 

JACK IS CONFUSED. IT APPEARS HE HAS TO TELL HER SOMETHING BUT DOES NOT KNOW HOW. HE ALSO DOES CARE ABOUT HER, AND HE DOES NOT WANT TO LET HER BELIEVE HE DOES NOT, BUT OF COURSE IS SCARED TO ADMIT THAT AS WELL.

 

JACK: No I didn't say that either.

JENNIFER: What are you saying?

JACK: Um....it's about the pages.

JENNIFER: What about 'em?

JACK: Well I've got a little...little confession to make.

JENNIFER: Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?

JACK: They're not the right pages. I changed them. Different pages.

JENNIFER: You!

 

SHE STARTS TO HIT HIM WITH BREADSTICKS. SHE IS ANGRY AND HURT THAT HE TOOK SUCH A RISK, AND THAT HE POSSIBLY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT HER.

 

JACK: No.

JENNIFER: Jack I can't believe you.

JACK: Down girl, down.

JENNIFER: How could you do this?

JACK: Wait a minute. I couldn't walk in empty handed, right. It was a calculated risk and we got through it. We got through it alright.

JENNIFER: Jack what if that guy finds out that we tricked him? We are going to be in so much trouble.

JACK: One crisis....one crisis at a time alright. We are going to miss the boat if we don't go right now. We are going to be left on the shore waving bye bye.

JENNIFER: We are not going to miss the boat Jack, no way. I am not going to be waving bye bye, you know what. But you know what that would be just your speed because you're the one that wrote the book on missing the boat.

 

JENNIFER RUNS OFF AND JACK TRIES TO FOLLOW HER.

 

JACK: Wait, would you just....(He bends over and picks up one of her shoes.) Scusa .....Grazie for the tablecloth.

SCENE SEVEN: ON BOARD THE LORETTA: JENNIFER. WITH A TABLECLOTH STILL AROUND HER SHOULDERS, HAS JUST ENTERED HER CABIN. SHE IS CARRYING THREE HEAVY BAGS. SHE IS STILL ANGRY AT JACK.

 

JENNIFER: Alright, we'll see who's standing waving bye bye Jack.

 

SHE PUTS THE BAGS ON THE BED AND STARTS TO UNPACK WHEN SHE HEARS A KEY IN THE LOCK. SHE IS SCARED SO SHE TAKES A MODEL FISH MOUNTED ON A PIECE OF WOOD OFF THE WALL AND HIDES BEHIND THE DOOR. THE DOOR HANDLE TURNS AND A MAN WALKS IN CARRYING SOME BAGS. SHE HITS HIM HARD ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND HE REELS AROUND AND FALLS TO THE FLOOR.

SCENE EIGHT: THEN SHE RECOGNIZES WHO IT IS, IT IS JACK. HE IS LYING ON THE FLOOR OF THE CABIN, UNCONSCIOUS. BELIEVING HE IS HURT SHE FORGETS THAT SHE IS ANGRY WITH HIM, AND RUSHES OVER TO MAKE SURE HE IS ALRIGHT. SHE CRADLES HIM IN HER ARMS.

JENNIFER: JACK! (Beat) Jack, Jack, come here. Jack talk to me. Jack come here. Jack!

JACK: Ooooeeeeewwww!

JENNIFER: Tell me you're okay.

JACK: I'm seeing stars.

JENNIFER: Jack, no you're not seeing stars. I hit you with a fish because I thought that you were an intruder.

JACK: A fish!

JENNIFER: Come to think of it you are an intruder.

 

SEEING THAT HE IS OKAY, SHE REMEMBERS THAT SHE IS ANGRY WITH HIM AND WHY, AND SUDDENLY STOPS CARING FOR HIM; LETTING HIM FALL BACK ONTO THE FLOOR.

 

JACK: ARGH!

JENNIFER: What are you doing here Jack?

JACK: At the moment I'm just trying to get over a fractured skull. But at this time I'm going to start attempting to stand up. OH!

JENNIFER: Jack why did you sneak in my room like that? I mean after everything that happened today I could have really hurt you.

JACK: (Massaging his head) Yeah, yeah. You just decided to knock me on my bass just for the halibut. What was it, a love tap, huh?

JENNIFER: That's cute, that's very cute.

JACK: Well it was intended to be cute.

JENNIFER: Alright I'm sorry. Maybe I did get a little carried away.

JACK: Apology accepted. And now I'd like to know why you think this is your room. This room happens to me mine.

JENNIFER: No it doesn't. Jack this is my room. I have the key right here.

JACK: Heheheh! So do I.

 

JENNIFER LOOKS AT THE NUMBER ON HER KEY AND THE NUMBER ON JACK'S.

 

JENNIFER: How did this happen?

JACK: I don't know. The screwed up and they just made a mistake and put us in the same room.

JENNIFER: Alright, I'll just get myself another room.

JACK: Hahahaha. Just a minute Flipper, I don't think you can do that. There is no other room.

JENNIFER: How do you know?

JACK: Because I was the last one on the ship and they said that this was the last available room.

JENNIFER: So basically what you're telling me is that we're going to have to share a room.

JACK: Share....yes. (Beat) At least it's not forever.

JENNIFER: Right. As long as you don't leave toothpaste in the sink I suppose I can tolerate it.

JACK: Wait a minute, wait a minute. As long as I don't leave toothpaste! As long as you don't leave you don't leave your little hose hanging over the shower curtains. I mean this is inconveniencing me too you know.

 

JENNIFER HAS TO SMILE REMEMBERING THEIR TIME TOGETHER. SHE CAN TELL BY JACK'S VOICE THAT HE DID NOT MIND IT EITHER. SHE BEGINS TO FEEL MORE HOPEFUL THAT ON THE CRUISE JACK WILL *FINALLY* ADMIT HE CARES.

 

JENNIFER: Then I guess we'll just have to grin and bear it.

JACK: I guess so.

 

THEY SLOWLY BEGIN TO UNPACK, BOTH WITH A HALF GRIN ON THEIR FACES.

SCENE NINE: UP ON DECK, ROMAN GETS A PROGRAM OF ACTIVITIES ON THE SHIP AND NOTICES THAT THERE IS PLAY SCHEDULED FOR LATER IN THE WEEK AND THAT ERNESTO IS THE AUTHOR. HE THINKS THIS IS VERY ODD BUT ISABELLA BRUSHES IS ASIDE AS NOTHING.

SCENE TEN: VICTOR HAS NOTICED THAT THE SHIP IS DECORATED EXACTLY LIKE LORETTA'S HOME AND THAT IT IS ALL TOO MUCH OF A COINCIDENCE.

SCENE ELEVEN: IT IS A LITTLE LATER AND THEY HAVE BOTH REMOVED THEIR WET CLOTHES AND ARE IN ROBES. JACK'S HAIR IS WET , HE HAS A TOWEL WRAPPED AROUND HIS NECK AND IS PUTTING AWAY A PILE OF CLOTHES. JENNIFER IS TRYING TO DO THE SAME BUT THE CABIN IS SMALL, THEY ARE SQUEEZING PAST EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME. BECAUSE SHE IS NOT TALKING TO HIM, JACK IS BEING DELIBERATELY ANNOYING, BLOCKING HER WAY WHENEVER HE CAN. SHE IS HOLDING HER HAIRDRYER AND OTHER COSMETICS WHEN HE STEPS IN FRONT OF HER AGAIN.

 

JENNIFER: Excuse me.

JACK: Oh a thousand pardons, really. A thousand, thousand pardons.

 

JENNIFER IS SILENT.

 

JACK: Boy this is the last time I go in economy.

 

JENNIFER CLOSES HER EMPTY BAG AND HEAVES IT AROUND AND HITS JACK.

 

JENNIFER: Excuse me.

JACK: Oh! Sure! Sure is kind of cold in here for a Mediterranean cruise.

JENNIFER: Alright Jack enough of the comedy, alright. I am mad at you.

JACK: Really! I don't know why you're mad at me. Was it my fault that we're in the same room.

JENNIFER: Jack we almost got killed because of some stupid diary pages and that was your fault.

JACK: I can explain.

JENNIFER: No, don't explain to me okay. You put my life in jeopardy today which means that a few lousy pieces of paper mean more to you than I do Jack and that's all there is to it.

 

JACK DROPS THE STUFF HE WAS HOLDING AND GRABS HER.

 

JACK: Now would you wait a minute. That's not true. You mean a hell of a lot more than a....

 

JACK CANNOT FINISH THE SENTENCE; JENNIFER LOOKS DOWN AT HIS HANDS ON HER ARMS.

 

JACK: The point is....I'm not going to let you get hurt. You've got to believe that.

JENNIFER: Maybe we should get ready for the ball.

JACK: I think that would be a good idea. Why don't you get the bathroom first.

JENNIFER: Okay, I'll just grab a few of my things.

JACK: Think this is going to be a really big deal, huh. Kind of makes you wonder. It's such....you know this whole thing is getting off to such a big bang you know, you wonder what are they going to do. I mean how are they....how are they going to top this?

 

JACK TURNS AROUND AND BUMPS INTO JENNIFER WHO DROPS SOME OF THE STUFF SHE WAS HOLDING. THEY BOTH LOOK DOWN. THE DIAPHRAGM IS ON THE FLOOR. JACK PICKS IT UP AND LOOKS UP AT HER.