SCENE ONE: JENNIFER HAS GONE TO THE PENTHOUSE WHERE WARNER BAYER AND HIS PARTY ARE STAYING. SHE BRIBES THE HOUSEKEEPER AND DISGUISES HERSELF AS A MAID TO GET ONTO THE FLOOR. SHE GOES INSIDE AND STARTS TO LOOK THROUGH THE DESK. THERE SHE FINDS A FILE ABOUT KATERINA. SHE IS ABOUT TO OPEN IT WHEN SHE HEARS SOMEBODY COMING IN THE DOOR. SHE RUNS AND HIDES IN THE WALK-IN CLOSET. THE INTRUDER SNEAKS IN AND OPENS THE CLOSET DOOR.

SCENE TWO: JENNIFER LOOKS UP IN SURPRISE.

 

JENNIFER: I don't believe it.

JACK: Yeah well that makes two of us.

JENNIFER: Jack you scared me half to death.

JACK: I'm going to do a lot more than scare you. What are you doing in here? Get out of this closet.

 

SHE PUSHES HIM BACKWARDS TOWARDS THE SOFA.

 

JENNIFER: Wait a minute. I have a few things to say to you first Jack.

JACK: Jennifer.

JENNIFER: First of all why didn't you tell me about that press conference?

 

SHE PUSHES HIM BACKWARDS UNTIL HE SOMERSAULTS OVER THE SOFA AND ONTO THE FLOOR.

 

JENNIFER: You threw me off the track with that ticket to New York, didn't you, that's what you did Jack.

JACK: Jennifer, New York is very nice this time of the year.

JENNIFER: Oh yeah and it's far enough away to keep me from scooping you on the missing heiress story isn't it?

 

THEY BOTH HEAR VOICES OUTSIDE THE ROOM.

 

JACK: Sssh.... quiet!

 

HE PUTS HIS HAND OVER HER MOUTH.

 

JENNIFER: Don't sssh me. I have no intention of....

JACK: Jennifer, just....

JENNIFER: That's them. What are we going to do?

JACK: Ssssh. The closet quick!

JENNIFER: Wait Jack.

JACK: The closet.

JENNIFER: No Jack. I think I locked it when I closed it.

JACK: Okay follow me, quick.

JENNIFER: Follow you where?

JACK: Out the window.

JENNIFER: Out the window, great, great. Out the window!

JACK: Quick, out the window.

 

THE BOTH CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW OF THE PENTHOUSE.

SCENE THREE: OUT ON THE LEDGE THEY REALIZE HOW HIGH UP THEY ARE.

 

JACK: EEEEEERRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

 

THEY SHUFFLE ALONG THE LEDGE ALONGSIDE THE WINDOW WITH JACK CLOSEST TO THE GLASS. JENNIFER HAS HER RIGHT ARM LINKED THROUGH JACK'S LEFT. THEY ARE PRESSED HARD UP AGAINST THE WALL.

JENNIFER: Alright, alright, alright, this isn't so bad.

JACK: Oh it isn't?

JENNIFER: No, I mean we're going to be okay. This is alright. I guess you're allergic to heights too, huh?

JACK: Heheheh. Yeah they tried to make me jump from the top bunk at camp. I couldn't get on the rung of the stairs without getting dizzy.

JENNIFER: Alright well don't blame this on me alright. This was your idea Jack.

JACK: Jennifer, Jennifer, aaaarrrrggghhh, just let me fall. Okay, okay. Don't worry about me, don't worry about me. Just let me fall. I'll fall....

JENNIFER: What do you mean fall? What am I just supposed to save myself. Jack in case you haven't noticed, there's only one way to go and that's down.

JACK: Aaarrrgggghhhh!

 

THEY HEAR WARNER TELL HIS CHAUFFEUR THAT HE THINKS SOMEBODY HAS BEEN IN THE ROOM.

 

WARNER: Look at this closet. That's not how I left my clothes.

 

OUT ON THE LEDGE JACK IS WHISPERING ANSWERS.

 

JACK: It was the maid, it was the maid, it was the maid.

CHAUFFEUR: Perhaps it was the maid.

JACK: YES!!!!

WARNER: Look around.

JACK: No!!!! Okay be still. Don't breath, be still, be still, be sti.... no. Oh no, I just saw it.

JENNIFER: What was it?

JACK: I saw a bird. I saw.... I saw the top of a bird. You're only supposed to see the bottom of birds. And the.... oh, oh, oh.....

 

JACK EXTENDS HIS HAND IN PANIC. WHEN SHE PUTS HER OUT HE GRABS IT HARD, ALMOST CUTING OFF THE CIRCULATION.

 

JENNIFER: Alright, just hold on Jack.

JACK: I'm holding.

JENNIFER: Wh.... Jack! Let go.

JACK: what?

JENNIFER: Let go of my ha.....

JACK: Why?

JENNIFER: Jack you're cutting off my circulation.

JACK: Why, what did I do?

JENNIFER: Jack you're cutting off my circulation.

JACK: I just.... I just....

JENNIFER: Relax!

JACK: If I.... I'm not going to relax at thirty thousand feet. The only way I'm going to relax if I've got a plane around me.

JENNIFER: Jack we are not at thirty thousand feet.

JACK: Oh, oh and this.... this distance makes that big of a difference to you. That meaningful, huh. Oooooh! Hold me, hold me. Okay.

JENNIFER: I'm fine, I don't need to hold you.

JACK: Hold me! Hold me!

 

JACK GRABS HER HAND AND HOLDS IT AGAINST HIM.

 

JACK: Now doesn't that feel so much better? Don't you feel better, come on.

JENNIFER: Oh yeah okay.

JACK: Good.

JENNIFER: I'm really lucky to have you. I'd be really scared otherwise. Just hold on.

 

JENNIFER BEGINS TO SQUEAZE PAST HIM TO GET CLOSER TO THE WINDOW. SHE HAS TO PUT HER LEGS OVER AND AROUND HIM AND PRESS UP CLOSE TO GET BY.

 

JACK: Wait a minute. Jennifer! Heheheheh. This is neither the time nor the place.

JENNIFER: I'm trying to hear what they're saying.

JACK: Oh! Oh that's great. That's a great.... that's my dying wish.... I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean that.

JENNIFER: Jack if we can't hear what they're saying why are we out here. You pulled me out here so we could hear them.

JACK: Oh that's.... yeah, that was my idea, yeah.

 

WARNER STARTS TO TALK ABOUT SEARCHING THE PLACE. JENNIFER BEGINS TO LOSE HER FOOTING. SHE STARTS TO SLIP, JACK GRABS HER.

 

JENNIFER: Oooooh!

 

JACK: I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha. I don't gotcha, I don't gotcha.

 

THEY BOTH START TO SLIP BUT JACK MANAGES TO GET HIS BALANCE AND HOLD JENNIFER.

WARNER STARTS TO COMPLAIN THAT AMERICANS HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO TRAIN SERVANTS.

 

JACK: What?

 

WARNER CALLS SOMEBODY TO REPORT ON THE PROGRESS OF THE SEARCH FOR KATERINA. JENNIFER INSISTS THAT SHE MUST HEAR IT.

 

JENNIFER: Jack this is it. I want to hear it.

JACK: This is what? What, what are doing?

JENNIFER: I want to hear this conversation Jack.

JACK: What the hell are you doing? It's like you are trying to tango with me, what!

JENNIFER: Jack!

 

JENNIFER STARTS TO SLIP AGAIN.

 

JACK: Don't worry, I gotcha, I gotcha, I don't gotcha.

JENNIFER: Just remind me that if we ever get out of this, that I never want to speak to you again. Just remember that.

JACK: Consider yourself reminded and remind me that I hate heights. I hate em. I hate heights. I hate em, I hate em, I hate em, I hate em, I hate em.

JENNIFER: Alright I can understand that. Just hold on.

JACK: I gotcha.

JENNIFER: Oh look at your face now. Have you finally realized that there is nothing between us and the cold hard ground but a little bit of stone and....

 

SUDDENLY LIGHTNING FLASHES AND IT STARTS TO RAIN.

 

JACK: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not complaining, I'm not complaining.

 

JACK PUTS HIS HAND OUT WHILE JENNIFER HOLDS HER BAG OVER HER HEAD.

 

JACK: It's raining.

JENNIFER: No kidding.

JACK: You wouldn't happen to have a little umbrella in that purse, would you?

 

JENNIFER PROMPTLY HITS JACK ON THE HEAD WITH HER PURSE.

 

JACK: Aaarrrgggghhh! Thanks.

 

HE TAKES THE PURSE AND HOLDS IT OVER HIS OWN HEAD. THEY HEAR WARNER HANG UP THE PHONE AND LEAVE THE ROOM.

 

JACK: What is it? Has he gone, has he gone?

JENNIFER: He's gone.

 

JENNIFER STARTS TO CLIMB BACK IN THE WINDOW.

 

JACK: Watch it, watch it. I gotcha. Watch it. I'm getting in, I promise, I promise

JENNIFER: Jack, hurry up.

JACK: Okay.

JENNIFER: Okay I can't believe you did that.

 

THEY ARE BOTH INSIDE AND JENNIFER RUNS TO GET TOWELS.

 

JACK: Did what? I didn't do anything. I didn't cause any....

JENNIFER: You are underhanded and if you weren't trying to hide things from me so much....

 

SHE PUTS A TOWEL OVER HIS HEAD AND STARTS RUBBING HIS HAIR DRY.

 

JACK: Hey easy on the hair, it's all I've got.

JENNIFER: ....if you'd just be straight with me, we wouldn't be in situations like this.

JACK: Alright, you're right. I know what you're talking about. I know.

 

JENNIFER STARTS TO RUN OUT THE DOOR.

 

JACK: Hey! Wait a minute, wait a minute. Not so fast.

 

HE PICKS HER UP AND CARRIES HER BACK FROM THE DOOR.

 

JACK: Talk about being straight with people. It's time you started being straight with me. What are you trying to hide from me now, huh? What are you trying to hide?

JENNIFER: I am not hiding anything from you Jack.

JACK: Oh yeah. Just think of me as Mother Teresa. There.... there is goes. You're doing that squinkly little nose thing. That's a sure sign that you're lying.

 

JENNIFER SCREWS UP HER NOSE AS SHE ANSWERS.

 

JENNIFER: No it's a sure sign that my nose itches, that's what it is, Jack.

JACK: Oh what, are you saying this is all my imagination?

JENNIFER: That's right.

JACK: Oh so the fake tape of Katerina is just my imagination.

JENNIFER: The fake tape! I have no idea what you're talking about Jack, the fake tape.

JACK: Oh you don't. I only took it to the Salem PD and to a lab and they tracked it back to you!

JENNIFER: Oh.

JACK: Oh, is that all you can say after all your low, slimey, underhanded dealings. You know one thing, you are lucky that I am a forgiving person, unlike the person who lives in this room who I have a feeling could hurt people, bodily, even unto death. And I'm just trying to keep that from happening unto you.

JENNIFER: Well you know what Jack, that's not your problem anymore. You gave up the right to worry about me when you pushed me out of your life.

JACK: But I....

 

JENNIFER OPENS THE DOOR AND BEFORE SHE GOES SHE TURNS BACK TO JACK AND SCRUNCHES HER NOSE AT HIM.

SCENE FOUR: LATER JACK IN HIS OFFICE, EMPTYING THE WATER OUT OF HIS SHOE ONTO THE FLOOR. HE IS SATURATED. HE SMELLS HIS WET SHOE AND DROPS IT ON THE FLOOR. HE IS FRUSTRATED AT NOT BEING ABLE TO STOP JENNIFER FROM GETTING INVOLVED IN THE VON LEUSCHNER MESS.

VERN ENTERS.

 

JACK: Alright, alright, these are the ground rules. No remarks, no snickering, no comments. Just don't say anything.

VERN: I wasn't going to.

JACK: There's a man after my own heart.

VERN: Did you find Jennifer?

 

JACK LIMPS INTO HIS BATHROOM TO GET A GLASS. HIS REMAINING SHOE IS SQUEAKING BECAUSE IT IS FULL OF WATER.

 

JACK: Yes.

VERN: Did you save her from danger?

JACK: Yes.... and no. I kept her from hitting the cold hard ground but she's still flying high, too high and she's still flying solo.

VERN: You mean she's in danger but she wouldn't tell you the who or the what or the why of it.

JACK: Bingo.

VERN: Well you know our girl. When she gets like that there isn't anything anybody can do about it.

 

JACK GETS A PILL OUT OF HIS DRAWER.

 

JACK: Don't bet the family farm Vern.

 

JACK THROWS THE PILL IN THE AIR AND TRIES TO CATCH IT IN HIS MOUTH. INSTEAD IT LANDS IN THE GLASS.

 

JACK: No.

SCENE FIVE: MEANWHILE JENNIFER GOES TO SEE CARLY AND TELLS HER THAT SHE BETTER LEAVE TOWN. CARLY REFUSES AND JENNIFER DECIDES THAT SHE MUST SECRETLY HELP HER.

SCENE SIX: SHE GOES TO SEE JACK AT HIS OFFICE. HE IS SITTING AT HIS DESK WITH HIS FEET ON THE DESK. HE IS STILL WEARING ONE SHOE. THE OTHER FOOT IS BARE. HE BLOWS HIS NOSE ON A SHEET OF PAD PAPER. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

 

JACK: Come in.

 

JENNIFER COMES IN. SHE IS AS WET AS JACK AND SHE PROCEEDS TO WRING THE WATER OUT OF HER HAIR ONTO HIS CARPET.

 

JENNIFER: Okay Jack, let's talk alright. I thought about what you said and you're right.

JACK: Huh, uh.

JENNIFER: Mr. Bayer is a very dangerous man to start up with, okay. So for story? It's not worth it.

JACK: Heh, heh, is this going to end anytime soon?

JENNIFER: I am staying far away from the whole Von Leuschner thing. I am completely out of it.

JACK: As in I.... I can't even remember who these people are?

JENNIFER: Who which people are?

JACK: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.

JENNIFER: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Now you drop it too.

JACK: I'll drop it if you drop it.

JENNIFER: I already said that I was.

JACK: Alright! So.... no more rescues, right?

JENNIFER: Uh, huh.

JACK: No more Spiderman

JENNIFER: Uh, huh.

JACK: I can just return to my hectic, not quite heroic life.

 

JENNIFER NODS.

 

JACK: Thank you.

JENNIFER: You're welcome.

JACK: Well now that that little episode is over, maybe we can clear one thing up. You can explain one thing.

JENNIFER: Sure, sure, now that this is all over and done with, there is nothing to hide anymore.

JACK: Why did you do it? The tape, why did you do it?

JENNIFER: You know what, I guess I let my competitive instincts get the upper hand. I mean I wanted the scoop of century Jack.

JACK: Aaaah but you saw the error of your ways.

JENNIFER: Yeah and I know I caused a lot of trouble for you and I'm sorry.

JACK: You know, like I said before, I'm the forgiving type. Shake on it.

 

THEY SHAKE HANDS AND KEEP HOLDING ON.

 

JENNIFER: I just wanted to let you know Jack.

 

HE SPINS HER ROUND AS SHE LEAVES.

 

JENNIFER: Heh, heh. Bye Jack.

JACK: Bye.

 

JENNIFER GOES OUT AND SHUTS THE DOOR.

 

JENNIFER: Yes he bought it. I know he did.

 

INSIDE JACK TALKS TO HIMSELF.

 

JACK: Yes, she bought it. I know she did.