SCENE ONE: ISABELLA IS SITTING IN HER BEDROOM IN THE LOFT WHEN SHE HEARS SOMEONE BANGING AT THE WINDOW TRYING TO GET IN.
ISABELLA: Who is it?
JACK: Alright, this is Jack, Jack!
ISABELLA: Jack! Jack what in the heck are you doing outside my window?
ISABELLA: What are you doing, you nearly scared me half to death.
JACK CLIMBS IN THE WINDOW HOLDING HIS NOSE. HE IS DRESSED IN A SUIT AND TIE EVEN THOUGH HE WAS TRYING TO BREAK INTO THE LOFT.
JACK: What are you talking about? I'm scared of heights out there and you nearly busted my nose in.
ISABELLA: This may sound really silly but what are you doing outside my window? Jack if you want to come in, just come through the front door.
JACK: Who said I wanted to come in?
ISABELLA: Well alright, you were practicing you Spiderman routine out on the ledge.
JACK: That's right. Two arms, two legs and an attitude.
ISABELLA HITS HIM.
ISABELLA: Okay Jack, what's up?
JACK: You want to know the truth?
JACK: Okay I'll tell you. Jennifer's what's up. Jennifer's got herself involved in a story and she's in way over her head. I'm trying to warn her to get out of this thing but she won't pay any attention to me. So I have to take to climbing in windows to get some information on her so I can help her.
ISABELLA: Why do I get this funny idea that Jennifer wouldn't exactly like your peeping tom routine. Maybe you should try another tactic.
JACK: What, like honesty?
ISABELLA: Yeah, it's been known to work.
JACK: Oh maybe for George Washington or Billy Joel but I think that the operative words here are deceit and covert action.
ISABELLA: They don't have to be.
JACK: Is this going to turn into an honesty is the best policy lecture? Look I don't want to hear it okay.
ISABELLA: No it's not going to turn into an honesty is the best policy lecture.
JACK: Why not?
ISABELLA: Because I understand you perfectly Jack.
JACK: Wait a minute, you understand how I feel. That's puts you in a class.... with me. And I tell you it's pretty lonely out here.
ISABELLA: I'm serious Jack.
JACK: I'm serious too. You don't know how I think. We're worlds apart.
ISABELLA: No we're not Jack. You're a sneak. No offense intended.
JACK: None taken.
ISABELLA: Well it takes a sneak to know a sneak.
JACK: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you're no sneak. You're a straight arrow, ever since I met you.
ISABELLA: You have a really short memory. What was one of the first things we did together, come on?
JACK: We were in.... I helped you escape from Bayview. You followed me down a laundry chute. I was very impressed I must say.
ISABELLA: No you followed me down the laundry chute. That was just the beginning.
JACK: Oh really, tell me more.
ISABELLA: Well I played lots of tricks with Roman during the first few months of our relationship.
JACK TAKES A SEAT ON THE BED WHILE ISABELLA SITS OPPOSITE HIM ON A CHAIR.
JACK: Is that so.
ISABELLA: Huh, uh. You know once, I even fell into the river, on purpose, just so that he would fall in after me, take me home. Dry me off. So I could steal something from his bedroom.
JACK: That's clever.
ISABELLA: Huh, uh.
JACK: After he buffed and fluffed you, did you get what you wanted?
ISABELLA: After I lied and tricked, yeah I got what I wanted.
JACK: I guess it shows that being.... lying and sneaky pays off.
ISABELLA: No it doesn't. Because I didn't get what I really wanted, Roman. You see I didn't get that until I stopped being sneaky.
JACK: I don't think you've stopped yet if you ask me.
ISABELLA: Why do you say that?
JACK: Cause here you are still trying to turn this into an honesty is the best policy.... speech.
ISABELLA: Okay, alright. So you got me. So I have. I'm trying to prove a point. Jack, people who sort of tend to be devious need to resist the impulse as much as possible.
JACK: Is that your way of saying you're not going to let me snoop around this apartment?
ISABELLA: You got it.
JACK: Even to help your roommate.
ISABELLA: I don't call it helping my roommate. Let me steer you in the right direction. I overheard Jennifer telling....
JACK: Oh. ISABELLA: No, Jennifer told me she was going to go visit Carly so maybe you should just follow her down there and have a talk.
JACK: With Carly? I don't think that's really going to help. You see if I talk.... Carly won't talk to me. I think she doesn't trust me.
ISABELLA: Hmmm I wonder why.
JACK: Well it's been very nice hearing all this unsolicited advice. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to just.... go through Jennifer's drawers, as it were.
ISABELLA: Yes I do mind.
JACK: No, huh?
ISABELLA: No. See I'm going to walk you downstairs and then you're going to go out the door and I'm going to shut it behind you, no bolt it behind you in case you get any brilliant ideas about returning to the scene of the crime.
JACK: Just honesty, huh?
ISABELLA: A remarkable concept.
ISABELLA GOES DOWNSTAIRS.
ISABELLA: JACK, COME ON.JACK: Hit the road, Jack.
SCENE TWO: MEANWHILE JENNIFER HAS GONE TO SEE WARNER TO FINALIZE THE PLAN. HOWEVER HE REMEMBERS THAT THE REAL KATERINA HAS A COIN THAT IS NECESSARY TO VERIFY WHO SHE IS AND IT MUST BE HANDED TO LAWRENCE AT THEIR FIRST MEETING. JENNIFER LIES TO WARNER AND TELLS HIM THAT KATERINA LEFT A BOX OF THINGS WITH HER AND THAT SHE WILL SEE IF THE COIN IS THERE. ACTUALLY SHE REMEMBERS SEEING CARLY LOOKING AT THE COIN A WHILE BACK. HE AGREES TO GO ALONG WITH THE PLAN IF SHE COMES UP WITH THE COIN.
SCENE THREE: JENNIFER GOES TO SHENANIGAN'S AND LITERALLY BUMPS INTO JACK AT THE BAR.
JACK: Oh, oh. I'm so glad that you ran into me.
JENNIFER: What do you want Jack?
JACK: Well I would like to talk to you.
JENNIFER: Look I really don't have time, okay.
JACK: I think you better make time because what I have to say is going to be of great importance to you.
JENNIFER: I doubt that.
JACK: Don't make me grovel. I said please don't make me grovel. I hate that.
JENNIFER: Alright, one minute. You have exactly one minute to get whatever it is off your chest and then you're going to be talking to the back of my head as I leave.
JACK: Thank you.
JACK CLEARS HIS THROAT AND STANDS UP STRAIGHT.
JACK: I am hereby ready to give notice....
JENNIFER: Of what?
JACK: Of the fact that I intend to follow through on my promise to keep you from doing something foolish.
JENNIFER: Alright and how do you plan to do that Jack?
JACK: By being honest.
JENNIFER: Oh now I have heard everything Jack.
JACK: No, no, no, no, no. Don't act so surprised. You're the one who always wants honesty. I'm just giving you what you want.
JENNIFER: Are we on Totally Hidden Video?
JACK LOOKS BEHIND HIM THEN REALIZES SHE IS BEING SARCASTIC.
JACK: NO! Look this is serious. I am serious. I am going to be totally above board about my intentions.
JENNIFER: Did you say intentions?
JACK: Yes. I intend to go straight to Warner Bayer and tell him you're a fake.
JACK: A fake, a fraud, a charlatan, not of the genuine article.
JENNIFER: You wouldn't do that Jack. You wouldn't even stoop that low. You are low but you are not that low.
JACK: Oh no, no, no. I am that.... I.... I am going to go to him and tell him who you are faster than you can say.... say inheritance tax.
JENNIFER: You wouldn't dare Jack.
JACK: I wouldn't, huh.
JACK OPENS THE NEWSPAPER HE IS HOLDING AND SHOWS HER THE FRONT PAGE.
JACK: Read it and weep.
THE HEADLINE READS "JENNIFER HORTON POSES AS KATERINA VON LEUSCHNER."
JENNIFER: I'm reading it but I don't believe it. You did not really run that story yet Jack. I know you didn't.
JACK: Well.... um.... no. No I didn't run it yet. But I have it sitting on the presses just waiting to go and I've got Vern staying right next to the phone. All I have to do is reach out and touch him.
JENNIFER IS COMPLETELY SILENT BUT LOOKS SCARED.
JACK: Well.... what's your decision? To be or not to be, Katerina that is.
JENNIFER: Alright, alright, I won't go any further with this.
JACK: You won't?
JENNIFER: You know I should have known that you would have found a way to stop me sooner or later. I was foolish to have even considered it.
JACK: Well.... heheheheh.... we all make mistakes sometime you know.
JENNIFER: I probably wouldn't have gotten away with it anyway.
JACK: Well that's true but you gave it the old college try right. Now I can't blame you for that. I mean at least it didn't blow up in your face.
JENNIFER: That's true.
JACK: I tell you, I am feeling sorry for you. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I am going to Warner and talk to him myself and tell him what you actually....
JENNIFER: No, no, no, let me. You know I think it's only right that I face him myself.
JACK: You know that's very admirable but how am I going to know that you did it?
JENNIFER: Jack one stroke of honesty deserves another. alright. You're just going to have to take my word for it, right. You just give me twenty-four hours to resolve this whole thing with Warner Bayer and once I back out he'll leave town as planned and the whole thing will be over.
JACK: Twenty-four hours, huh.
JENNIFER: Yeah, that's fair don't you think?
JACK: Twenty-four hours and one minute, this is going to the presses, front page.
JENNIFER: Thanks for having so much faith in me.
JACK: Heh, don't mention it.
JENNIFER: Alright, alright, it's a deal Jack.
JACK: Good! That's excellent.... I guess.
JENNIFER: Well you know I have a zillion other things to do. I have a lot of other stories that I have to cover.
JACK: Oh, have a good day.
JENNIFER: I will.
JACK: I will too.
JENNIFER WALKS TO THE DOOR THEN STOPS AND LOOKS BACK AT JACK FOR A FEW SECONDS THEN LEAVES.
JACK: I will now that I know you'll be out of trouble.
SCENE FOUR: JENNIFER GOES UPSTAIRS TO SEE CARLY. AFTER A SHORT TALK, CARLY HAS TO LEAVE AND JENNIFER ASKS IF SHE CAN STAY AND MAKE A PHONE CALL. CARLY AGREES AND JENNIFER SEARCHES AND FINDS THE COIN THAT WARNER NEEDS TO PROVE SHE IS KATERINA.
SCENE FIVE: MEANWHILE DOWNSTAIRS AT SHENANIGAN'S JACK BUMPS INTO CARLY.
JACK: Carly Manning!
CARLY: Jack, hello.
JACK: I've been looking for you. I want you to have lunch with me. No, I've had lunch, have dinner with me. Gar¬on!
JACK: A menu please. Sit down please.
CARLY: No Jack I'm not hungry. Thank you very much. Jack, what's up?
JACK: Well since you won't eat with me, I'll just tell you what I was thinking. You know about Jennifer, you know Jennifer and that missing heiress story?
JACK: Well I think she's finally gotten out of it.
CARLY: Well that's great. That's just the perfect thing, good, good.
JACK: Really, well I.... have you talked to her. Did she talk to you about this?
CARLY: Jack, I can tell you still care for her very much, don't you?
JACK: No that's not.... I want....
CARLY: I can see it in your eyes.
JACK: No, no, no. I'm just.... I'm just keeping her out of trouble just so the rest of us can get on with our daily lives.
CARLY: Well that's good. That's exactly what I want but I have to go. I have a meeting to get to.
JACK: But I want to know if you....
CARLY: I'll talk to you later, bye.
JACK IS STILL VERY UNSURE IF JENNIFER IS TELLING HIM THE TRUTH.
SCENE SIX: JENNIFER SNEAKS DOWN THE BACK STAIRS OF SHENANIGAN'S AND GOES OUT TO THE BACK LANE. SHE IS LOOKING AT THE COIN WHEN SHE SUDDENLY HEARS JACK CALLING HER.
JACK: Hey Jennifer! Jennifer.... Jennifer, I'm talking to you.
SHE DROPS THE COIN IN SURPRISE AND IT FALLS DOWN A GRATE IN THE PAVEMENT.
JENNIFER: Oh no.JACK: Jennifer!
SCENE ONE: JENNIFER IS ON HER KNEES TRYING TO FIT HER HAND DOWN THE GRATE TO RETRIEVE THE VON LEUSCHNER COIN. JACK COMES OVER AND PUTS HIS HAND ON HER BACK.
JACK: Looking for alligators.
JENNIFER JUMPS UP IN SURPRISE.
JENNIFER: Oooooooh! Hi Jack.
JACK: You know I've heard tell that there are alligators in the sewers of New York City. Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting right now?
JENNIFER: Ah, yeah. I.... I was on my way right now. I just got a little side tracked that's all.
JACK: So what are you doing staring in the sewer?
JACK WALKS BACK OVER TO LOOK IN THE GRATE AND JENNIFER RUNS OVER AND STANDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM TRYING TO DISTRACT HIM.
JENNIFER: What? I wasn't staring at anything Jack.
JACK: Well what's....
JENNIFER: (Trying to change the subject) Is there really alligators under New York City?
JACK: What are you trying to hide from me? Jennifer, come on talk to me. Tell me, what are you trying to hide?
JENNIFER: Alright, alright, I'm scared, alright. I'm scared to tell Warner that I'm calling the whole thing off.
JACK: Well, that's great. Okay it's a given. You've dug yourself into a deep hole but you now you know that. You know that it's going to be a real tricky proposition trying to get out of it.
JENNIFER: Oh thanks for reminding me Jack.
JACK: You're very welcome. As tough as things get, just remember there is no going back. There's no changing your mind because if you do it's back to.... read it and weep.
HE OPENS THE NEWSPAPER IN FRONT OF HER AGAIN WITH A BIG SATISFIED GRIN ON HIS FACE.
JENNIFER: Jack, don't threaten me alright. I told you that I would tell Warner that I'm going to quit and I will.
JACK: Oh this from the girl that's always changing her mind.
JENNIFER: I'm not going to change my mind. I'm just nervous alright but I'm going to do it.
JACK: Great. I tell you what, I'm going to escort you to see Warner Bayer myself.
JENNIFER: No, no, Jack.
JACK: We can go see.... he's just a couple of....
ALICE: Hello darling.
ALICE WALKS UP AND IT IS OBVIOUS THAT SHE DID NOT KNOW JENNIFER WAS THERE.
JENNIFER: Hi, hi. You know what?
JENNIFER: You're late but that's okay. You know what, I have to admit that I almost forgot about our little dinner date. Did you hit traffic?
ALICE IS TOTALLY CONFUSED.
ALICE: No I didn't hit any traffic but I didn't know anything about....
JENNIFER: You know what, let's go inside.
ALICE: Ah..... ah.
JENNIFER: Grandma, grandma, I'm starving.ALICE: Ah.... yes, yes. I'm starving. Hello Jack.
ALICE HAS REALIZED THAT JENNIFER WANTS TO GET AWAY FROM JACK.
ALICE: You see Jennifer and I like to get together every now and then just for a grandmother granddaughter little dinner.
JENNIFER: Yeah, just the two of us.
ALICE: Yes, just the two of us. So you understand don't you?
JACK: Oh surely, I understand, yes.
JENNIFER LIFTS HER FACE TO THE SKY AND MOUTHS OUT THE WORD "THANK YOU." JACK NOTICES HER DO IT.
JACK: You're more than welcome Jennifer. Mrs. Horton, please enjoy, bon appetite. Jennifer, just remember our promise.
JENNIFER: Right, well have a nice evening Jack.
SCENE TWO: ALICE TELLS JENNIFER THAT SHE SHOULD NOT LIE TO JACK. JENNIFER TELLS ALICE THAT SHE HAS TO HELP HER GET DOWN INTO THE SEWER AND RETRIEVE THE COIN. ALICE KEEPS WATCH WHILE JENNIFER TRIES TO LIFT THE GRATE. AS SHE LIFTS IT, SHE FALLS OVER BACKWARDS AND AN OLD BUM ON THE STREET PICKS UP THE COIN. JENNIFER TELLS HIM TO GIVE IT BACK BUT HE REFUSES. ALICE RECOGNIZES HIM AS HOMER, THE GUY SHE WAS IN JAIL WITH AND SHE GIVES HIM $20 FOR THE COIN. ALICE GIVES IT TO JENNIFER JUST AS JACK COMES BACK.
JACK: Well that was a short lunch.
JENNIFER: Ah we weren't that hungry, we just had salad.
ALICE: Really! I.... I figured I drop my and have a little salad myself.
JENNIFER: Good. Well you should do that if you're hungry.
JACK: Well.... I said that I wanted to give you a ride and I'm going to give you a ride.
ALICE: That's quite alright Jack. I'll take her wherever she wants to go.
JACK: No, no, no. I'm not that hungry and I would be honored to drive you over to.... I really would. You just stay right here. I'm going to get my driver right now. HERB! Hold it, Herb!
JENNIFER: Take your time Jack.
ALICE: Jennifer, darling, after losing Hope, you're more precious to me than ever. So please be careful.
JENNIFER: Grandma I will.
ALICE: Whatever you're up to, good luck.
JENNIFER: Thanks because I think I'm going to need it. Bye.ALICE: Bye.
SCENE THREE: JACK AND JENNIFER ARE IN THE BACK OF HIS LIMO. SHE IS HOLDING THE COIN TIGHTLY IN HER HAND AND IS VERY WORRIED.
JACK: So if anything strange is going on up there I want you to come straight to the window and I'll be up there before you can say danger, danger, Will Robinson, danger.
THE LIMO STOPS.
JENNIFER: Yeah well I have very fond memories of that window ledge.
JACK: Okay, five minutes, then I come in, alright. That's it.
JACK: There's no arguments, alright. Showtime.
JENNIFER SLOWLY GETS OUT OF THE LIMO AND GOES UP TO SEE WARNER WHILE JACK WAITS IN THE CAR.
SCENE FOUR: WARNER RECOGNIZES THE COIN IMMEDIATELY AND HE AGREES TO GO ALONG WITH THE FULL PLAN. JENNIFER AGREES TO GO TO NEW YORK CITY WITH HIM TOMORROW TO MEET LAWRENCE AT THE EMBASSY.
SCENE FIVE: JENNIFER RETURNS TO THE LIMO WHERE JACK IS WAITING.
JENNIFER: It's all taken care of.
JACK: That's terrific. I'm proud of you.
HE PATS HER ON THE BACK. HE SEEMS ABOUT TO BE OPENING UP TO HER. SHE SEEMS RATHER HOPEFUL AND EXPECTANT.JACK: Listen, ah, there's something I want to tell you. Well strictly speaking it's not tell. It's more like confess.... I have a confession to make.
CHRIS ISAAC'S WICKED GAME BEGINS TO PLAY, IT SEEMS TO BE MIRRORING JACK'S INNER STRUGGLE.
JENNIFER: What kind of confession Jack?
JACK: Ah.... well I just wanted to say....
THE SONG CONTINUES, AS JACK CHANGES HIS MIND.
JACK: You know they don't make these limos the way they used to. It's kind of chilly in here. Maybe the heater's not working. Maybe.... maybe I'm just getting the flu or something, I better get home.
JENNIFER IS AGAIN FRUSTRATED AND HURT, HAVING HOPED THAT MAYBE FINALLY HE WOULD OPEN UP TO HER.
JENNIFER: Yeah, will you drop me off?
JACK: Sure. Herb, will you drop Miss Horton off first please?
THEY BOTH SETTLE BACK IN OPPOSITE CORNERS OF THE LIMO. JACK GLANCES ACROSS AT HER....
BUT AS SOON AS SHE CATCHES HIS EYE HE LOOKS AWAY. SHE THEN DOES THE SAME TO HIM AND HE LOOKS AWAY.