SCENE ONE: IT IS THE NEXT MORNING AND JACK AND JENNIFER HAVE SLEPT IN. HE IS LYING ON HIS BACK AND SHE IS LYING ON HER SIDE FACING AWAY FROM HIM. SHE PUTS HER HAND OVER AND GRABS HIS HAND AND PULLS HIS ARM OVER HER MAKING HIM ROLL TOWARDS HER. THEY ARE BOTH JUST STARTING TO WAKE UP AND ARE VERY COMFORTABLE.JENNIFER: Hi Jack.
JENNIFER: Hi Jack.JACK: Hmmm.... love you.
JENNIFER SLOWLY OPENS HER EYES AS SHE HEARS JACK'S WORDS.
JACK: Um.... love you.... love you.
JENNIFER: Jack, did you say you love me?
JACK: Hmmm.... hmmm.... hmmm.JENNIFER: How much?
JACK ROLLS OVER AWAY FROM HER BUT SHE LEANS OVER HIM.
JENNIFER: How much?
JACK: Ah.... 35 cents a copy.... and 50 on Sunday.
JENNIFER: No Jack, forget about the paper. You said that you loved me.
JACK: The truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth.JENNIFER: No Jack, listen to me. I heard you. You said, I love you Jennifer.
JACK IS STILL DOZING AND NOT AWARE OF WHAT HE IS SAYING.
JACK: I love you Jennifer.
JENNIFER: Right, how much? How much do you love me?
JACK: I love.... how.... how....
JACK STARTS TO WAKE UP PROPERLY. HE SCREWS UP HIS EYES AND TRIES TO FOCUS.
JACK: Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa! Time out!
SCENE TWO: JACK SITS UP MOVES AWAY FROM HER.
JACK: Ah.... I.... ah.... I ah must have dozed off there. I.... I hope I wasn't snoring in your ear.
JENNIFER: Ah, you said something in your sleep Jack.
JACK: Oh, I'm very sorry about that. Talking in your sleep's a lot worse than snoring in your sleep.
JENNIFER: You said you loved me.
JACK: Er.... in my sleep.
JENNIFER: But you said it.
JACK: In my sleep. (Beat) I was dreaming Miss Horton, dreaming.JENNIFER: But Jack you specifically said....
JACK: And.... and.... and.... which reminds me, the sandman must have gotten off this train at the last stop. I think it's about time that we got up with him and greeted the new day with a nice freezing shower and, excuse me, a nice cup of that murky murky coffee that comes with....
JACK REACHES OVER THE TOP OF JENNIFER TO GET HIS SHIRT AND AS HE PULLS IT BACK OVER, SOMETHING FLIES OUT OF THE POCKET.
JACK: Wait a minute, what's....
JENNIFER PICKS IT UP AND IT IS THE ENGAGEMENT RING. JACK LEANS BACK AND SIGHS.JENNIFER: Jack this is my engagement.... um, I mean this is.... this is the engagement ring.
JACK: Yes, um, how good of you to notice. Now if you don't mind I....
JENNIFER HOLDS ONTO IT.
JENNIFER: Why is it here Jack? (Beat) Why did you bring this with you?
JACK SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND STALLS.
JACK: Ah, you want to know about what, about that ring.... about that ring there?
JENNIFER: Yeah, I want to know the truth Jack.
JACK: Well are you sure you can tell the difference between the truth and the....
JENNIFER: Yes, I'm sure I can tell the difference.
JACK: What can I tell you? I.... I gave that ring to Jo after our little parting of the ways. And she.... and she gave it back to me moments, moments before we left on this trip.
JENNIFER: Yeah, but why?JACK: Why? I don't know why. I guess.... I suppose she saw us together, off and on, in the past couple of weeks and she got it into her head that maybe we would.... maybe we would be together on a more permanent basis. I.... that's all. You know her. You understand that, satisfied?
JENNIFER IS DISAPPOINTED.
JACK: Thank you. She doesn't understand that this is.... this is professional.
JENNIFER: Right, right, strictly professional.JACK: Yes, strictly professional and in keeping with.... in keeping with that credo, let us remember that we have an amateur sleuth in the next compartment who has been up for hours coughing , wheezing sneezing, with his ear to the wall.
GOOD MORNING FRANCOISE!
JENNIFER: That's right and his name is Frankie. It's Frankie.
JACK: Well.JENNIFER: So if you will just give me a few minutes to take a shower and get dressed we can....
SHE LEANS IN CLOSE TO HIM.
JENNIFER: .... get to work.
THE ONLY WAY SHE CAN GET OUT OF THE BED IS TO CLIMB OVER JACK WHICH SHE DOES WHILE HE TRIES TO IGNORE THEIR CLOSENESS.
JACK: Very.... ah.... very professional of you.
SCENE THREE: A BIT LATER WHEN JACK AND JENNIFER ARE DRESSED THEY GO TO SEE HOW FRANKIE IS. JENNIFER KNOCKS ON HIS DOOR AND FRANKIE IS WORRIED ABOUT THEM SEEING EVE BUT EVE DOES NOT SEEM TO CARE.
FRANKIE: Yeah, yeah, I'll be with you in a minute Jen.JENNIFER: Well are you feeling alright, is it any worse? Your cold, is that all it is, it is just a cold?
FRANKIE PRETENDS TO SNEEZE AGAIN.
FRANKIE: Oh yeah, geez, I'm just having a hard time getting started today, that's all.
EVE THINKS THE WHOLE THING IS FUNNY AND WILL NOT HIDE ANYMORE. JENNIFER USES HER KEY TO OPEN THE DOOR JUST AS FRANKIE IS TELLING EVE THAT JACK IS HER HUSBAND.
FRANKIE: Eve, Jack is your husband.
JACK AND JENNIFER STAND IN THE DOOR STARING AT EVE.
JACK: He certainly is.
JENNIFER: What is going on?
JACK HURRIEDLY SHUTS THE DOOR.
JACK: Alright, everybody sit down and shut up. I have to think.
JENNIFER SITS ON ONE SIDE OF THE COMPARTMENT NEXT TO FRANKIE, SO JACK SITS NEXT TO EVE.
JENNIFER: Will you just tell me one thing, what is Eve doing here?
EVE: I'll tell you why I'm here. I'm on this train because I want to help find the gun. And that's the only reason.
JACK: That is our purpose for being here Bundt Cake. Your only purpose for being here is to screw everything up. Just screw it to the wall.
FRANKIE: Whoa Jack! Come on now.
JACK: Look we all know how she operates. That's all she's going to do, just destroy the whole thing.
FRANKIE: And what does that mean Jack?
JACK: It means that Lawrence Alamain does not make mistakes. That means we can't make a mistake. We have to find the gun first or he'll walk.
EVE: Alamain, do you think he's the one that killed Nick?
JACK: No, he didn't kill Nick. He.... alright.... it appears Lawrence Alamain is overly anxious to acquire a certain letter, no doubt a very incriminating piece of evidence.
JENNIFER: Lawrence thinks that the person who killed Nick is the same person who has this letter.
JACK: (To Eve) You don't have it on you, do you?
JACK: You can't blame me for asking.
EVE: No, right.
JACK: But maybe you can, I don't know.
FRANKIE: Jack, let's just shut up here for a while and think of a way we can all work together on this thing, okay.
JACK: The best way to do that is to get her off the train. Nothing personal buttercup.
EVE: No thank you buttercup.
FRANKIE: Jack, Jack. Look I think Eve should stay. I mean she has just as much right to be here as the rest of us. Maybe even more. Yes I know.
EVE: Thank you Frankie. Yeah like it or not, honey, I'm along for the ride.
JACK: Wait a minute, this is not up for discussion. You don't.... if Brian Scofield walks in and sees you here he's going to put two and two togeEVE: No he's not.
AT THAT MOMENT BRIAN OPENS THE DOOR TO THE COMPARTMENT.
JACK: He'll put two and two together and he's going to do everything he can to....
BRIAN: Well we better do everything we can so he does put.... two and two together.
EVERYBODY IS SHOCKED TO SEE HIM STANDING THERE.
JACK: Heheheh. Well there's a perfectly logical explanation for this.
JACK: Yes, I mean talking before, Miss Horton and I, about the story we are covering.
JENNIFER: Yeah we were working on this story that we were trying to keep under wraps and it's this very in-depth piece on.... ah.... it's very deep and it's in-depth and it's on.... ah....
JACK: Deep. It's about.... ah....
JENNIFER: It's on.... romance.JACK: Romance. Romance on the rails.
JACK PUTS HIS ARM AROUND EVE AND HOLDS HER CLOSE.
BRIAN: Oh, I see. That explains why you brought your wife.
JACK: Oh yes, who else would I....
JENNIFER: Yes and that's why I'm here with Frankie.
FRANKIE: Yeah we go right back don't we Jen?
BRIAN: Oh I see. Well that sounds like a very exciting report. Film at eleven. Well I guess I'll see you all you guys later on tonight then.
JENNIFER: Tonight? Ah....
BRIAN: Yes the wild west party. All that nostalgia, all that atmosphere. It just screams of romance.
EVE: Oh yes.
JACK: I think screams is the operative word here.BRIAN: Oh yeah. I'm looking forward to it and we all have our costumes? We got those, costumes?
THEY ALL NOD AND AGREE THAT THEY HAVE THEM ALL READY.
JACK: Oh yes, yes, yes.
BRIAN: Great, because I can't wait to see what you all look like and I'm going to be there. And it's going to go on all night so I expect to see you there, is that right? You're going to be there?
JACK: Oh right, absolutely! Absolutely, I think I can speak for everybody here in saying that where else would we be if we weren't at the organized activities.
BRIAN: I can't begin to imagine.
JACK: Yes well, we'll see you there.
JACK: Oh nice to see you.BRIAN: Bye, bye.
JACK SHOWS BRIAN OUT AND SHUTS THE DOOR.
JENNIFER: Lock the door.
SHE HANDS JACK THE KEYS AND HE MAKES SURE THE DOOR IS LOCKED.
JACK: Oh this is great. Now we have Hercule Peroit Jr. breathing down our necks. We also have to spend the rest of the evening playing trick or treat instead of looking for the gun.
FRANKIE: Wait a minute, wait a minute Jack, come on. This could be great.
JENNIFER: What are you talking about?
FRANKIE: Everybody's going to be at the party, right?
EVE: Yeah, including us right.
FRANKIE: Maybe not all of us. Maybe one or two of us can sneak away while the others keep Brian company, huh.
JACK: And the rooms.... the compartments.... will be empty.
JACK: And we'll be able to search the compartments at our leisure with no problems because....JACK, JENNIFER, EVE AND FRANKIE: .... everybody's going to be at the party!
SCENE FOUR: IT IS A BIT LATER AND JENNIFER IS LOOKING AT THE COSTUME THAT SHE HAS TO WEAR FOR THE WILD WEST NIGHT. IT IS BRIGHT RED AND PINK WITH A LOW CUT BODICE AND A FEATHER BOA. IT IS A REAL SALOON GIRL COSTUME. JENNIFER IS NOT VERY HAPPY ABOUT WEARING IT. JACK COMES IN WEARING A BLACK SUIT WITH BLACK STETSON COMPLETE WITH PRESS SIGN ON THE BAND. HE ALSO HAS A FAKE BLACK MUSTACHE.
JACK: I don't know what the hell this is. I feel like Black Bart, the Disco Dan of the prairies. I mean what do you think? (Beat) Miss Horton? I hate to ruffle your feathers or anything but, tell me, what do you think of this?
JENNIFER: Ah, Jack, I think that I grabbed the wrong box. I don't think that this is my costume.
JACK: Well, looking at it another way, I mean there's going to be plenty of school marms out there but this is.... ah.... well it's.... look if you're embarrassed, just take it back. Take it back.
JENNIFER: No I'm not embarrassed. I just.... ah.... it's fine, it's fine. It's a costume. I mean I'm not embarrassed. It's fine. I'll wear it. It's just a costume.
JACK: Right. It's just a.... just a costume.
JENNIFER CAN FEEL JACK LOOKING HER UP AND DOWN FROM BEHIND.
JACK: What?JENNIFER: I can feel you staring at me Jack. Why are you doing that?
JACK: It's.... nothing.
SCENE FIVE: IN THE OTHER COMPARTMENT, EVE HAS A VERY SCHOOL MARM TYPE COSTUME AND SHE IS COMPLAINING TOO.
SCENE SIX: BACK IN JACK AND JENNIFER'S COMPARTMENT, SHE HAS PUT ON THE SALOON GIRL COSTUME. IT HAS A MESH AND BEADED PIECE ABOVE THE SEQUINED BODICE AND SHE HAS A BIG PINK AND BLACK FEATHER IN HER HAIR. JACK RETURNS JUST AS SHE, UNCOMFORTABLY, ARRANGES HER BODICE.
JENNIFER: So, what do you think?
JACK: It doesn't matter what I think. What about you, are you still embarrassed?
JENNIFER: No I'm not embarrassed. I have no reason to be embarrassed and even if I was embarrassed, I don't have time because we have to find a gun while Eve and Frankie take care of Brian.
JACK: Absolutely Miss Horton, absolutely.
JENNIFER: Alright, well we're not doing any good standing around here. I will do anything I can to find that letter to pay Lawrence back for what he did to everybody.
JACK: Right, let's.... let's....
JENNIFER: Right! And when we get him Jack, because we will, he'll be punished for what he did. And then maybe.... maybe everyone can just move on and put everything behind us. You know what I mean?
JACK: Yes, we'll just get our lives right back together.
JACK: Separately.... speaking, of course.
JENNIFER: Right.... separately. (Beat) If you say so.JACK: Of course I say so. That's.... that's what I just said, isn't it.
JACK WALKS TO THE DOOR AND STARTS SINGING THE THEME SONG FROM RAWHIDE.
JACK: èRoll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em. Let's keep those doggies rollin. Let's move it out, wagon train. Roll! Hang 'em high.î
JENNIFER WALKS STRAIGHT PAST HIM AND SWINGS HER FEATHER BOA INTO HIS FACE AS SHE LEAVES. JACK STOPS TO THINK FOR A SECOND OR TWO THEN FOLLOWS HER.
SCENE SEVEN: THEY SNEAK ALONG TO AN EMPTY COMPARTMENT AND GO INSIDE AND SHUT THE DOOR.
JACK: Alright, all clear.
JENNIFER: Alright, who's compartment is this Jack?
JACK: It doesn't matter who's compartment it is. Just be glad that I was able to get us into it. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
JACK: Be careful.
JENNIFER: I'll start over here.JACK: That's good. Be careful. We can't get caught doing this, okay.
JENNIFER BEGINS TO LIFT UP THE CUSHIONS ON ONE OF THE SIDE SEATS WHILE JACK GETS DOWN AND LOOKS AROUND THE FLOOR.
JENNIFER: Be sure you check the closet Jack.
JACK: You check the closet. I'm busy checking under the bed.
JENNIFER LIFTS THE MATTRESS ON THE SEAT AND IT FLIPS OVER TO FORM A DOUBLE BED AND KNOCKS HER DOWN TO THE FLOOR WITH JACK.
JENNIFER: How can you check under the bed when I.... ARRRRRGHHHHHH!
THEY ARE BOTH NOW TRAPPED UNDER THE DOUBLE BED SUSPENDED BETWEEN THE TWO SIDE SEATS. THEY ARE ALMOST LYING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.
JACK: OUCH!.... Aaaawwww.... ahhhh. JENNIFER: Why didn't you look?
JACK: Why didn't you?
JENNIFER: Because it was dark and I didn't see you down there, that's why.
JACK: Oh, well, now that we're both down there, wouldn't it be great if we could get back from down there?
JENNIFER: No it wouldn't be great. I can't think of a more enjoyable way to spend my night than in someone else's room under their bed rolling around in the dark with the.... ARGH!.... (Beat) Jack!
JACK: AH.... would you mind?
JENNIFER: Yes I would mind. What do you think I am, queen of the dust bunnies?
JACK: Let me tell you something, I'm wearing black. They've chosen black, do you know what that means, huh?
JENNIFER: Would you please move that?
JACK: Ah.... move what? I mean I can't see one hand in front of my face.
JENNIFER: Jack, just move it!JACK: What?
JENNIFER: Jack just move it, please.
SHE BEGINS TO WRIGGLE AROUND UNTIL SHE IS LYING ON TOP OF HIM.
JENNIFER: Alright Jack, move it.
JENNIFER: Please just move your....
JACK: Argh! I just can't move....
JENNIFER: MOVE IT!
JACK: (groaning) Ah.... I think.... I think it just moved.
JENNIFER: Move what?
JACK: What?JENNIFER: Nothing.
THEY BOTH REALIZE THAT THE POSITION THEY ARE IN. JENNIFER LOOKS AT HIS LIPS, SUDDENLY SHE RIPS OFF JACK'S FALSE MUSTACHE.
JACK: OUCH!.... OUCH!
AS HE IS COMPLAINING, SHE LEANS DOWN AND KISSES HIM HARD ON THE MOUTH. JACK RESPONDS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO KISS.