SCENE ONE: IT IS THE NEXT DAY AND JENNIFER IS IN THE COMPARTMENT WATERING THE JADE PLANT. THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
JENNIFER: Right, hold on.
IT IS JACK USING THE VOICE OF A VERY OLD MAN HE HAS A SLIGHT WHISTLE WHEN HE SPEAKS.
JACK: House.... keeping, house-keeping.
SHE OPENS THE DOOR.
JENNIFER: Come on in.
JACK COMES IN DRESSED AS A BENT UP OLD MAN WITH A WHITE BEARD AND MUSTACHE. HE IS WEARING THE UNIFORM OF A TRAIN PORTER. AT FIRST SHE DOES NOT RECOGNIZE HIM.
JENNIFER: Hi, go right ahead.JACK: Oh, oh.
HE SEES THE JADE PLANT AS HE STAGGERS IN LOOKING VERY FRAGILE.
JENNIFER: Be careful. Listen will you just be careful around that plant. It's very fragile so don't brush up against it or anything, okay.
JACK: It's my hips. (Beat) What, this thing here?
JACK: I wouldn't get too attached to this thing. It's.... it's a little puny and ssssickly.
JENNIFER: It's going to be just fine. Just don't go near it okay.
JACK: Okay. Well.... it means a lot to you does it?JENNIFER: Yeah it does. It means everything to me.
SHE BEGINS TO GET SUSPICIOUS OF THE HOUSEKEEPER AND MOVES IN FOR A CLOSER LOOK.
JACK: Well.... we'll.... we'll just take care of everything, okay, and not mess.... mess with it.
HE BEGINS TO WIPE THE TABLE AROUND IT WHILE SHE STARES.
SHE PULLS HIS FACE AROUND TO FACE HER.
SHE LAUGHS, AND HAS A BIG CONTENTED GRIN ON HER FACE.
JENNIFER: Hi Jack. What are you doing under there Jack?
HE TAKES OFF HIS HAT TO REVEAL HIS DARK HAIR UNDERNEATH.JACK: What am I doing? I'm testing my disguise. You be careful what you talk to the help about.
JENNIFER: Well it doesn't matter if you mean what you're saying. And I meant what I said, this plant means everything to me Jack.
JACK: Oh, I see. I suppose you're going to start telling it bedtime stories now too.
JENNIFER: Well I don't know, maybe I will.
JACK: Like Under Milk Wood, How Green Was My Valley, The Good Earth, that sort of thing.
JENNIFER: Jack would it be too much to ask why you're dressed like that?JACK: No it wouldn't. It's part of my cleverly devised plan to act as the porter. No one watches the porter as he goes from compartment to compartment seeking out the secret compartment within each compartment.
JENNIFER KEEPS GRINNING AS SHE LOOKS AT JACK IN HIS DISGUISE.
JENNIFER: You know, out of all the crazy wild schemes you come up with, I think this one just might work Jack.
SHE PICKS UP HIS BROOM AND STARTS TO LEAVE.
JACK: Thank you for your confidence. Hey, hey, hey, what.... where to do you think you're going?
JENNIFER: Jack the sooner we start, the sooner we can find the gun in the compartments.
JACK: Oh no, no, no. There's no we.... we. This is my plan and this is no picnic. This is not going to be easy.
JENNIFER: Well I didn't say it was going to be easy but we can do it. With you and me working together there's nothing we can't do Jack.
JACK: Pardon me if I don't share your over confidence.
JENNIFER: Jack, take this little guy right here, alright.JACK: Please.
SHE PICKS UP THE JADE PLANT.
JENNIFER: Now I mean the odds are against it right?
JACK: Huh, uh.JENNIFER: But with a little time, a lot of time, and a lot of faith, it's going to come through. (Beat) And so will we.
SCENE TWO: A SHORT TIME LATE: THE COMPARTMENT DOOR OPENS AND JENNIFER PEEPS OUT DRESSED AS A MAID. SUDDENLY THE MOP FALLS OUT THE DOOR.
JENNIFER: Oh, so subtle Jack. Some porter you are.
SHE PICKS UP THE MOP AND HITS HIM THE IN THE FACE ACCIDENTALLY.
JACK: Oh! Who do you think you are? They'll be able to see straight through your little Hazel get-up.
JENNIFER: Look Jack, if you can be a porter, I can be a housekeeper. I just have to think myself into the part and I'll be unrecognizable, okay.
JACK: You and Uta Hagen, right.JENNIFER: Ouis, Monsieur.
HE LAUGHS AS SOMEBODY WALKS PAST.
JACK: Ah, yes. Are you ready?
JACK KNOCKS ON THE NEXT COMPARTMENT DOOR.
JACK: It's housekeeping.
THERE IS NO ANSWER SO HE KNOCKS AGAIN.
JACK: It's housekeeping.
THEY GET NO ANSWER.
JACK: Well, ready for the next one, huh.
JENNIFER: Oh might as well.
SHE GOES TO PUSH PAST HIM BUT HE STOPS HER.
JACK: Ah, no, no, no. Not so fast. If you have such an impenetrable disguise, you stay out here and keep a watch and I'll.... JENNIFER: Look my disguise is just as good as your disguise, alright. Now just go in there before I change my mind.
JACK: Well you be out here thinking about who you are.
JENNIFER: Alright, IŤll be thinking.
JACK: Good.JENNIFER: Go.
JACK GOES IN THE DOOR AND JENNIFER SHUTS IT AND WAITS OUTSIDE. INSIDE JACK SEES A CHAIN AND SET OF WRIST CUFFS ATTACHED TO THE WALL. HE PICKS THEM UP FOR A CLOSER LOOK.
JACK: Homey.... kinky but homey.
SCENE THREE: OUTSIDE, JENNIFER IS PRETENDING TO DUST WHEN MELISSA SEES HER.
MELISSA: Jennifer is that you? Well the maid's outfit wouldn't have anything to do with finding the gun, would it?
JENNIFER: Oh, my outfit have anything to do with finding the gun?
MELISSA: Forget it, forget it. Never mind, forget I asked. I have a favor to ask you.
JENNIFER: Your furniture need polishing?
MELISSA: Hahahah. No. I know that you and Jack are looking for the gun and I'm here to ask you to stop.
MELISSA: Well the investigation is really important to Brian.
JENNIFER: And Brian's really important to you.
MELISSA: I just want to do whatever I can to help him, that's all. So what do you say, will you do it?
JENNIFER: Look Melissa, I really hate saying no to you but I have to this time.
MELISSA: Jennifer I know how important it is that we find Nick's murderer and Emilio's. But I think that we should all have faith in Brian. He can solve this.
JENNIFER: Look I can't explain it to you but it's really important that I find that gun, okay.
MELISSA: Okay, but Brian's going to be real hard to beat on this. I mean he want's to find it very badly too.
MELISSA: Good luck.
MELISSA: I'll see you later.JENNIFER: Okay.
MELISSA WALKS AWAY AND JENNIFER GOES INTO THE COMPARTMENT WITH JACK. HE IS WEARING THE WRIST CUFF AND IS NOW CHAINED TO THE WALL.
SHE STARTS TO SMILE.
JACK: Don't ask.... don't even ask.
SHE TRIES TO STOP LAUGHING.
JACK: Don't expect an answer, not one. (Beat) Just get me the keys, they're right there. Hangin on the wall, right there.
SHE PICKS THEM UP AND JINGLES THEM AT HIM AND STILL SAYS NOTHING.
JACK: Alright! I know what you're thinking. You might as well go just ahead and say it. Just let it out.
JENNIFER: I'm not thinking anything. I'm not thinking a thing.
SHE CAN HARDLY TALK FROM LAUGHING.
SHE LEANS OVER HIM AND BEGINS TO TRY DIFFERENT KEYS IN THE LOCK.JACK: You're thinking it's stupid.
JENNIFER: No. I wasn't thinking that.
JACK: It's an accident, that's all it was.
JENNIFER: Of course it was an accident, Jack.
JACK: It could have happened to anybody.
JENNIFER: It could have happened to anybody.
JACK: It just happened to me.
JENNIFER: That's right.
JACK: Actually I was conducting a...I was conducting a morphological study.
JENNIFER: A morphological? It was in the name of science. Oh I see.
JACK: Yes, I was trying to see if the men of today are bigger than the men of.... well if the men of today are bigger than the men of a hundred years ago.
JENNIFER: Right.JACK: I mean you know their diet and their vitamins and everything like that and I.... well just as a matter of example, I got this right here, look.
HE PICKS UP THE ANKLE CUFF AND PUTS IT AROUND HER ANKLE.
JENNIFER: Jack, don't put the thing on my foot. I'm trying to....
JACK: I'm telling you, look at this. It's....
JENNIFER: Jack, stop.
JACK: It's even on.... I'm right.JENNIFER: Oh that's good Jack. That's very good.
SHE LOOKS DOWN AT HER ANKLE CHAINED TO THE WALL LIKE JACK'S WRIST.
JACK: I'm right.
JENNIFER: That's very good.JACK: Well.... we have nothing to worry about now. You've got the keys.
JENNIFER SITS DOWN AND TRIES TO UNDO THE LOCK ON HER ANKLE.JACK: Come on shake a leg. What's the problem here?
JENNIFER: The problem is that none of these keys fit, Jack.
JACK: Well that's what you get for jumping to conclusions about the keys.
JENNIFER: Well that's good. So what are we going to do now?
JACK: Well I happen to notice that there are several antiquated tools over there on that shelf. I think we should get them and use them to pry ourselves out.
JENNIFER: Jack, the operative word is over there. We're over here.
JACK: Well, that's it. We have to find a way to stretch a little closer to over there from over here.
JENNIFER: Which we will do how?JACK: I.... I'm the idea man here. I don't know. I'll have to think about it. Give me a moment.
HE TURNS AWAY FROM HER AND PUTS HIS HAND TO HIS BROW TO THINK. JENNIFER PICKS UP THE CHAIN IN FRUSTRATION AND PULLS IT. IT COMES AWAY IN AN INSTANT.
JACK: Quit making so much noise, please. I'm thinking.
JENNIFER HAS HER MOUTH OPEN AS SHE LOOKS AT THE BROKEN CHAIN.
JACK: I said I'm thinking.
JENNIFER: Jack.JACK: I'm thinking! I'm....SHE POKES THE BROKEN CHAIN IN FRONT OF HIS FACE.
JACK: How did you do that?
JENNIFER: I just gave it a little tug, out of the thing. See?
SHE STANDS UP AND SHOWS HIM WHAT SHE DID.
JACK: Well.... that's exactly what I was going to do.
HE REACHES UP TO WHERE HE IS SHACKLED TO THE WALL.JACK: I just.... it's like this.... like.
HE PULLS HARD AND IT STAYS PUT BUT SHE GIVES HIM AN EXTRA HAND AND IT COMES LOOSE.
JACK: Thank you.
JENNIFER: I knew you'd figure it out Jack.
JACK: Anybody know the words to Unchained Melody?JENNIFER: Oh, Houdini Jack.
THE TRAIN SUDDENLY LURCHES AND JENNIFER GOES FLYING ONTO JACK'S LAP WHERE HE PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER.JACK: OH!
THEY HAVE SAT ON TOP OF THE CHAIN AS WELL AND HE PULLS IT FREE.
THEIR FACES ARE INCHES APART AS SHE SITS ON HIS LAP.
JACK: Is that right? Actually you're being a.... you're being a...pretty good sport about all this.
JENNIFER: Right.... well, I mean, it's not so bad.
SHE STILL FEELS AWKWARD BEING THAT CLOSE TO HIM.
JACK: You know, working.... no, no, I'm talking about working in such close proximity after, um.... well you know.
JENNIFER: Yeah. (Beat) Well it's a little hard now but I'm just hoping to get to the point where it won't be so hard anymore.JACK: Well, if you don't get up and get going, it's going to get a lot harder.
SHE STANDS UP AWKWARDLY BECAUSE THEY STILL BOTH HAVE THE SHACKLES AROUND HIS WRIST AND HER ANKLE.
JACK: Just keep moving, okay. I'm going to get over here.
JENNIFER: Get the hammer.
JACK: I'll get the hammer.JENNIFER: See if you can....
JACK TAKES THE HAMMER AND REMOVES HIS OWN WRIST SHACKLE.
JACK: OUCH! (Beat) All ready, okay?
JENNIFER: Just watch my foot Jack.
JACK: I'll watch it. You just stand back.
JENNIFER: Jack be careful of my ankle. Alright!JACK: And.... through.
HE REMOVES THE SHACKLE FROM HER ANKLE.
JACK: That was simple wasn't it?
JENNIFER: Yeah. Quite simple.
JACK: Let's get out of here.JENNIFER: Alright. That's it, we're free.
JACK OPENS THE DOOR AND BRIAN IS STANDING THERE.
JACK: In a manner of speaking, that is.
BRIAN: People think I'm weird, they should get a look at your act.
JACK PUSHES OUT THE DOOR AS BRIAN COMES IN BUT JENNIFER DRAGS HIM BACK.
JACK: Hey.... what do you think. Oh, you know he's a good detective. He knew that we were doing an act. It's the act that we were working on, rehearsing on for that talent show.
JACK: Yeah. Actually we were finding that the.... that the.... ah.... the end is a little rough and we need to polish that. So let's go polish the end.
JACK: Yeah.JENNIFER: Yeah the ending is really rough and we need to.... it's....
SHE WAVES HER HANDS OUT IN FRONT.
BRIAN: It's rough. Okay why don't I go with you and we'll go to the lounge car and we'll put it up on its feet. That's what actors do before the show. They put it up on its feet. I'll be the judge and we'll work together. You know I played Cyrano in college and I used my own nose. It's kind of a funny thing. What do you think, on with the show? You want to do it?
JENNIFER: Could you just give us a minute? You know we want to get out of our costumes so no one else will see them.
JACK: Yeah. We want to surprise.
BRIAN: Right, I'm waiting with anticipation. My palms are sweating with romance and excitement.JENNIFER: Great.... great.
BRIAN WALKS OUT.
JACK: I think he's serious. I think he.... he's serious.
JENNIFER: I know, he's serious. But Jack listen I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that.... that was really nice. You were really sweet before when we were, you know stuck like that, together.
JACK: Sweet? I was being sweet?
JENNIFER: Yes you were.
JACK: Oh, I guess there was a little breakdown in the program tapes. Don't worry I'll get it corrected right away.
JENNIFER: Well you can get it corrected all you want Jack, but I know it's there and so do you.
JACK GIVES HER A VERY SERIOUS LOOK.
SCENE FOUR: LATER IN THE LOUNGE CAR, EVE HAS COME ON TO SING IN THE TALENT SHOW. SHE HAS TO SING HEART AND SOUL BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THAT FRANKIE CAN PLAY ON THE PIANO. A GUY STARTS COMING ON TO HER AND A FIGHT BEGINS. BRIAN DOES NOTHING TO STOP IT. JACK AND JENNIFER COME IN AND SMILE AT THE FIGHT.
JACK: Oh boy, hell of a show isn't it?
JENNIFER: Jack, there's Frankie over there.
JACK: Well Francoise, I never thought you had a fight in you.
JENNIFER: Frankie, what....JACK: Go for it Francoise, I love ya man, I love ya.
EVE RUNS UP TO JACK.
EVE: JACK, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE, IT'S ABOUT TIME.
JACK: Well that's a first.
EVE: OH JACK YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. FRANKIE'S ALONE WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE. GO DO SOMETHING.
JACK: Well what are you suggesting?
EVE: FIGHT! GO FIGHT!
JACK: Oh I'm sorry I just had dinner. I can't.EVE: I DON'T CARE. GO HELP HIM.... NOW!
EVE PUSHES JACK INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT.
JACK: I.... ah.... I really.... I.... ah....
HE COMES FACE TO FACE WITH A GUY READY TO PUNCH HIM.
JACK: .... excuse me.... I just think.... don't you think a discussion into all this is a better way to solve a problem than fisticuffs. I have no problem with this man, really. I like you as a human being.
EVE IS SCREAMING AT JACK TO FIGHT AND JENNIFER IS SCREAMING FOR HIM TO GET AWAY.
JACK: Don't change your hair for me.
JACK: What?JENNIFER: LOOK OUT.... AAAARGH!
AS JACK TURNS TO FACE JENNIFER, THE GUY HITS HIM ON THE HEAD WITH A BOTTLE THEN THROWS JACK ACROSS THE ROOM ONTO THE FLOOR. JENNIFER AND EVE ARE STILL SCREAMING AS JACK TRIES TO GET UP. HE LIFTS HIS HEAD AND IS LOOKING STRAIGHT INTO AN AIR VENT IN THE WALL. HE LOOKS INSIDE AND THERE IS THE GUN.JACK: The gun....
HE FALLS BACK ON THE FLOOR.