SCENE ONE: JACK HAS BEEN WAITING FOR JENNIFER TO GET BACK FROM SEEING WHITNEY BAKER. HE HAS BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN HOLDING THE JADE PLANT IN WHICH HE HAD INSERTED THE ENGAGEMENT RING. JENNIFER HAS JUST FOUND IT.
JENNIFER: Well I'm waiting.
JACK: Waiting for what?JENNIFER: For you to tell me what this means.
JACK: Oh come on now Miss Horton. You know what it means when someone offers you a ring.... I mean an eng.... an eng.... an eng.... an eng.... a ring.
JENNIFER: But you didn't offer this to me Jack. I found it in the plant. So as far as I know you thought it looked better on the plant than it does on me.
JACK: What.... what this?
JENNIFER: You know what.... I think maybe you're right.
JACK: I'm right?
JENNIFER: Yeah. Look why don't we go inside. I'll make us something hot to drink.
JACK: Now wait a, wait a, wait a minute. This is not working out the way it's supposed to work out.
JENNIFER: Why?JACK: Look I was hoping we'd be able to skip these.... soupy sappy formalities. But.... you gotta do what you gotta do.
JACK KNEELS DOWN ON ONE KNEE.
JACK: Oooooh! Arrrgh!
JENNIFER: Jack you don't have to do this.
JACK: Oh please.
JENNIFER: I was just kidding. You don't have to.JACK: Since I am already done here. I mean I was hoping we could be a little more creative about this but you know, when it comes to this sort of thing, even though I've been through it many many times, it's just the question and the answer. And the question is.... upon my.... well Eve's and my release from the bonds and I do mean the holy bonds of matrimony.... once again, will you be my wife?
JENNIFER GRINS BUT DOES NOT ANSWER HIM.
SCENE TWO: JACK IS STILL WAITING FOR HER REPLY.
JACK: Well you know I'm not exactly the most optimistic kind of person. But I asked a question, I was hoping for an answer sometime this year or before rigor mortis sets in, whatever comes first.
JENNIFER: No I understand Jack, I do.JACK: Yeah?
JENNIFER CAREFULLY PUTS THE RING BACK IN HIS HAND.JACK: Again?
JENNIFER: I'm sorry Jack. I just can't take it.
JACK BEGINS TO LAUGH CYNICALLY AND PUTS THE RING BACK IN THE PLANT.
JACK: Hahahahah. I see. I see. This is because of that therapy session right. This is because I walked out and you think I'm a jerk for walking out of your therapy session with your doctor. You think I'm a jerk, isn't that right?
JENNIFER: Jack, that's not true. I don't think you're a jerk, Jack, I don't.
JACK: Oh come on, don't.... you most assuredly do and you're right, because I am. We've already been through this before. We discussed it before. When it comes to therapy and shrinkage, I can not be counted on.
JENNIFER: Jack, I remember that but that is not the problem. That is not what's holding me back.
JACK: Then what's holding you back?
JENNIFER: You're misunderstanding me. I want to marry you. I really do. I want to marry you more than anything in the world Jack.
JACK: Well.... the offer is on the table.
JENNIFER: I don't believe in half-hearted commitments. When I marry you I want to give myself you totally. And I can't do that yet. I just can't do that right now.
JACK: Well.... I'm not all prepared to go either but I mean if you've got a reason, please, allow me to ask why.
JENNIFER: Do you remember what I told you the other day about what I needed to do before I could move on with my life?
JACK: You're talking about the trial again, am I right?
JENNIFER: That's right. And I can't make any plans for the future until it's over with Jack.JACK: Well this is certainly fine if it's going to make you feel better. I've got no problem with that. I just wanted you to know that you're not exactly alone in this. I mean.... you're not. I mean I'm here and although I'm not your.... fiancŘ, I am your.... ah.... I don't what's a good word to describe me.
JENNIFER: I know.
JENNIFER: I want you to be sure that you know how I feel, okay. My future is with you. And there isn't anything that's going happen in that courtroom that can change that. But the thing is I can't start a new life until I get through this. I mean you can understand that can't you?
JACK: Well whether I can understand it or not is beside the point. I'm going to have to accept it right?
JENNIFER: Right. But you know there is a word.... that fits you.JACK: Take it easy.... easy.
SHE WALKS OVER WHISPERS IN HIS EAR.
JENNIFER: It's wonderful.
SHE KISSES HIS CHEEK AND THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH EYES FULL OF LOVE.JENNIFER: Come on, let's go inside and dry off.
SHE PICKS UP HER BAG AND GOES INSIDE. JACK LOOKS UP AT THE THUNDERING CLOUDS AND SMILES.
SCENE THREE: BACK IN THE LOFT JENNIFER IS UPSTAIRS DRYING OFF WHILE JACK TAKES OFF HIS COAT.
JACK: Don't worry Miss Horton.... ah.... stay up there and get dried off. I've got everything under control down here.
HE WALKS OVER TO THE KITCHEN AND BEGINS TO POUR SOME TEA. IN HIS MIND HE SEES HARPER AND DUKE HOLD OUT THEIR CUPS FOR SOME TEA TOO.
JACK: Oh no, not again. You two...what the hell's going on?
HARPER: Come on, you don't mind pouring some for us do you? It's awfully cold out there on that fire escape.
JACK: You were on the fire escape? Both of you, wait a minute.... you were out on the fire escape? That means you heard what was going on down at the....
DUKE: What, are you kidding me? I almost threw up when I saw you down on your knees. Come on kid, throw a couple of shots of something in here. I froze my buns off there.
HARPER: Yes, there's a distinct chill in the air but that's not surprising under the circumstances.
JACK: Oh really, what does that mean?
HARPER: Don't be dense, you drip. Jennifer turned you down again. How many times does that make, three, four?
DUKE: Five, six, seven, eight. Who cares? It doesn't matter anymore senator.
DUKE: Ask me why Harp, ask me why.
DUKE: Well it seems that little Jackie boy, my son, and yours, has finally found himself a broad who's worthy of him.
HARPER: Really?DUKE: Yeah. So let me introduce you to the future Mrs. Jack Deveraux. Excuse me.
DUKE MARCHES OVER TO THE PLANT.
DUKE: Her name is Jade.
HARPER: Jade?DUKE: Miss Jade Plant!
THEY BOTH LAUGH LOUDLY AND JACK JOINS IN.
JACK: That's good.
DUKE: It gets better, it gets better. Listen, listen. Wait a minute picture this, the two of them, the honeymoon suite, right.
DUKE: Hello, room service?
DUKE: Yes, kindly send me up a bottle of your best champagne.
HARPER: Yes sir.DUKE: And a bag of your best fertilizer.
THEY BOTH LAUGH BUT JACK HAS HAD ENOUGH.
JACK: Alright, oh come on, that's it. Alright, very good, back.... back on the fire escape. Come on, that's it.
HARPER: Jack there's no need to be angry. After all I'm not telling you anything you don't know yourself deep down inside.
DUKE: That's right.
HARPER: Jennifer Horton will never marry you.
JACK: Oh come on, I think.... you know I think she will marry me. All she has to do is work out a couple of problems, as do I.
HARPER: Work out a couple of problems. Is that what she said to you?
JACK: Well yes, yes, as a matter of fact that is what she said to me, yes.HARPER: What do you think she'll say to you when she finds out you're .... whoo.... whoo.... whooo, insane.
HARPER CIRCLES HIS FINGER IN THE AIR.
DUKE: More fertilizer, more fertilizer, more fertilizer....
JACK: Why would she say why am I insane?
HARPER: Tell him, go on, you tell him.DUKE: Oh listen, sonny boy, turn around, take a look. And when you do, watch out you don't spill your tea.
THEY BOTH START TO LAUGH AND JACK SMILES AND TURNS AROUND. JENNIFER IS STANDING THERE WITH A VERY STRANGE LOOK ON HER FACE.
JENNIFER: Who are you talking to Jack?
HARPER AND DUKE FADE AWAY FROM JACK'S MIND.
SCENE FOUR: JENNIFER HAS JUST CAUGHT JACK TALKING TO HARPER AND DUKE.JACK: Did you.... ask me who I was talking to?
JENNIFER: Yes.JACK: Ah.... you know that's a very simple question and that deserves a very simple answer, equally simple. So the simple answer is I was just having a cup of tea and a chat with a couple of dead men.
JACK BEGINS TO PACE BACK AND FORTH.
JENNIFER: Jack, you're making me dizzy.
JACK: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
JENNIFER: Why don't you just sit down and tell me what happened?
JACK: The point is this didn't just happen. This isn't a one time thing.
JENNIFER: It's not?JACK: No, no, I see them all the time.
JACK SITS DOWN NEXT TO JENNIFER.JENNIFER: Who do you see? JACK: My two dads.
JENNIFER: You see Harper and Duke?
JACK: In the skin. Well you see they have this.... ah, proclivity for showing up at the most inopportune moments, or threatening to. And.... um.... they.... well it's their contention that we're not exactly right for each other.
JENNIFER: I see.
JACK: You know I didn't really want you or anybody else to really know about this but now that it's out maybe it's just as well. I mean they.... they do tend to surprise one and one never knows where they'll show up next.
JENNIFER: Oh well I'll make sure I look under my bed before I turn off the lights at night Jack.
JACK: Alright, I know what you're saying. You're saying I'm insane, that's what you're saying.
JENNIFER: Jack I was just kidding. I don't think that you're crazy.
JENNIFER: No, you're just a little bit more creative than most people.
JACK: Oh! Well thank you very much.
JENNIFER: No, Jack, I mean it. It doesn't matter how you deal with your problems as long as you deal with them. Believe me I wish I could come up with a way to handle mine.
JACK: Well my.... family is rather colorful when it comes down to it.... but we certainly know how to deal with a crisis situation.JENNIFER: You know what.... so's my family.
JENNIFER RUNS OVER AND PICKS UP HER COAT.
JACK: What do you mean, what do you mean by that?
JENNIFER: Well I'm going to do what my grandmother always does when something's bothering her.
JACK: You're going to bake donuts?
JENNIFER: No, I'm not going to bake donuts. I'm going to go to church.JACK: To church?
JENNIFER RUNS OUT AND JACK FOLLOWS HER.
SCENE FIVE: SHE GOES TO HER LOCAL CHURCH AND TAKES A SEAT IN A PEW. SHE BEGINS A PRAYER.
JENNIFER: Um.... well I really don't know.... see I'm here because.... see because I want to.... I sound like Jack. Ah.... I'm sorry I wish I had it all clear in my head. And I wish I knew what to say to you. I guess I wish a lot of things. (Beat) I'm asking you how to make them come true. I'm asking for your help. Not to win the trial because I don't need that. I just need to know that I'm going to get through it okay. And that there will be a chance after for me and Jack. (Beat) That's all I need to know.
JACK WALKS IN AND SITS IN A ROW BEHIND HER. THEY ARE BOTH COMPLETELY WET. HE CLEARS HIS THROAT AND SHE TURNS AROUND. HE SMILES AT HER.JACK: So.... is everything better now?
JENNIFER: Yeah it is now.
JACK: Oh so I guess you're saying that it worked?
JACK: Yes, the praying worked.
JENNIFER: Yeah, it did. You should try it sometime Jack.
JACK: Some other time. Hey let's get out of here. This.... place.... you know, churches make me a little nervous, tend to.JENNIFER: I can tell.
SHE TURNS AROUND AND STAYS PUT.
JACK: Well if you can tell, why don't we go? I mean what are we doing here?
JENNIFER: Well I was just picturing what our wedding would be like or trying to anyway.
JACK: What do you mean by trying to?
JENNIFER: Well I mean seeing as you're not comfortable in a church, we probably shouldn't get married in one. And I know that you hate standing in front of a lot of people. So you know what, we can just get a Justice of the Peace and we can do one of those quickie services. It would be just you and me and the Justice of the Peace.
JACK: No, you're just saying that I would be a source of embarrassment for you, that if we went into a church and tried to get married in front of your family and your friends. You're thinking.... you are thinking that I would show up in my BVDs or my pajamas and forget your name and start talking to Harper and Duke. That's what you're saying, isn't it?
JENNIFER: Jack, you're being ridiculous, no.JACK: Don't, I can see it on your face. I can see it on your face. Well let me tell you something, I have been through these things before. I have been in them and I have been through them and I know how they go. They're very.... let me.... you don't believe.... I'm telling you it's very simple.... it's.... watch the old pro.
JACK WHIPS OUT A BUNCH OF FLOWERS FROM A VASE IN THE CHURCH.
JACK: Oh.... this guy won't need 'em anymore. He's dead.
HE WALKS UP IN FRONT OF THE ALTAR.
JACK: Okay right up here, okay.
JENNIFER STANDS BESIDE HIM.
JACK: So it's very simple. You just stand up here, you go through the motions....JENNIFER: Jack, I would probably be the bride so I would probably be the one....
JACK HANDS THE FLOWERS TO HER.
JACK: Well.... exactly, there, sure, of course.
JENNIFER: And.... and you would be probably be the groom and you would be entitled to a boutonniere.
SHE REMOVES A LONG STEMMED YELLOW ROSE FROM THE FLOWERS AND PUTS IT THE BUTTONHOLE ON HIS COAT.
THE STEM HANGS DOWN LOOKING SILLY.
JACK: Kind of a long one.
JENNIFER: There.... you look good Jack.
JACK: Don't try to buy me with cheap compliments.
JENNIFER: Now don't sound so offended. All I said is that we don't have to have a church wedding.
JACK: And all I said is that we don't have to cancel it on my account. I have been through this before, like I told you. I have a morning suit all ready. I have a whole selection of boutonnieres. All I have to do is shower, shave and show up.
JENNIFER: That sounds good to me.
JACK: Yeah well it's.... hey wait a minute. You think that you just cornered me into this, don't you? That you just stuck me right in the middle of this wedding. Is that what you did? A wedding in the church, right?
JENNIFER: Only if you're up to it.
JACK: I see.... my.... my hands are tied. I have no hands in this matter.JENNIFER: No, that's not true. Our hands are in this matter.
JENNIFER TAKES HIS HAND.
JACK: Our hands?
JENNIFER: Yes. We will find a way.JACK: Right.... now as I was saying, you just go down this....
JENNIFER HOOKS HER ARM IN HIS READY TO WALK BACK DOWN THE AISLE.
JACK: Okay, you go....
JENNIFER: We'd like to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Jack Deveraux. Da, da, deda, da, da....
JENNIFER STARTS HUMMING THE WEDDING MARCH.
JACK: No, we.... that.... that is not the.... listen you're running the whole thing again.
JENNIFER: That is exactly how it goes.JACK: That is not how.... you're running it, you're running it.
THEY WALK OUT ARGUING AND SMILING.
SCENE SIX: BACK AT THE LOFT DOOR, A SONG BEGINS TO PLAY AS THEY SAY GOODBYE. JACK TRIES TO REMOVE THE ROSE FROM HIS COAT BUT JENNIFER STOPS HIM. THEY LINGER OVER THE GOODBYES, BOTH UNWILLING TO PART. JACK MOTIONS TO CLOSE THE DOOR.
Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little
Everytime we say goodbye,
I wonder why a little
Why the gods above me, who must be in the know
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
JACK CLOSES THE DOOR AND GIVE THE ROSE A LITTLE PAT.When you're near there's such an air of spring about it
I can hear a lark somewhere, waiting to sing about it.
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change,
From major to minor, everytime we say goodbye.
Everytime we say goodbye,
I die a little Everytime we say goodbye,
I wonder why a little
Why the gods above me, who must be in the know
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.