oldEpisode Three-hundred-forty-six:
Ich Liebe Dich in German Means
"I Love You": The Night Before Jack
Is to Leave, He Organizes a Special
Teutonic Themed Surprise for Jennifer.

---

[Air date early October1991]

SCENE ONE: AT THE SPECTATOR, JACK IS PUTTING ALL HIS SHARE CERTIFICATES AND BONDS INTO HIS BRIEFCASE.

 

VERN: Jack, please tell me you're not going to do something stupid with those.

JACK: I will tell you whatever you want to hear Vern.

VERN: Oh I knew it. I just knew it.

JACK: Vern, there is nothing to worry about here. I am just putting all of my stocks in one place, one nice neat portfolio.

VERN: Why now Jack?

JACK: What do you mean, why now?

VERN: Well there's got to be a reason. I mean don't forget you used those stocks as collateral for the loan you took out on the paper. Now if something should happen to them....

JACK: Vern there is nothing to worry about here, alright. I'm putting everything in the safest place possible.

VERN: Oh, like where?

JACK: Like in the brand new state of the art safe that I have just put in my penthouse.

VERN: Oh listen to me Jack, you take good care of that briefcase, you hear me. Now negotiable securities and bearer demand bonds, it's like carrying around cash. You could get mugged or lose it and you could lose all of it. I mean we're talking about a hell of a lot of money here Jack.

JACK: I know that Vern.

VERN: Not to mention the risk of losing the paper.

JACK: I said, I know, Vern, I know!

VERN: Oh boy! Look what does Jennifer say about all this?

JACK: Jennifer doesn't know. Why do you ask?

VERN: Because she's your wife, Jack. I mean you're carrying around in that briefcase everything you two own. Why do have to keep learning the same damn lesson over and over, that the best marriage is based on trust.

JACK: Wait, wait, what do you know what the best marriage is? Jennifer and I have a long way to go before it's what's best!

VERN: What do you mean?

JACK: Just stay out of it alright. I know what's best for Jennifer and myself, so don't worry about a thing, alright. I've got everything taken care of trust me.

 

JACK WALKS OUT OF THE OFFICE AND SIGHS WITH RELIEF TO BE AWAY FROM VERN. HOWEVER HE IS STILL WORRIED WHETHER HE IS DOING EXACTLY THE RIGHT THING.

SCENE TWO: HE ARRIVES BACK AT GETS BACK TO THE PENTHOUSE WITH THE BRIEFCASE AND IMMEDIATELY CHECKS THAT EVERYTHING INSIDE IT IS OKAY. HE HAS IT OPEN WHEN JENNIFER COMES OUT OF THE BEDROOM.

 

JENNIFER: Jack? Oh there you are.

JACK: Yes.

JENNIFER: Where have you been?

 

HE SLAMS THE BRIEFCASE SHUT.

 

JENNIFER: I've found three bed and breakfast places. I want you to look at all of them and see what you think, alright.

JACK: Ah, Jennifer....

JENNIFER: Sit down.

JACK: Sit down, yes.

JENNIFER: They all have working fireplaces and they're all very close to home so they'll be great.

JACK: Ah, Jennifer, I really need to talk to you about something.

JENNIFER: Don't.... don't say it. Please Jack, don't.

JACK: I'm sorry. This is very important. There is an important business meeting in New York that I have to be at tomorrow. I have to be.

JENNIFER: Well that's alright because.... because I can go to New York with you. I'll try and work that out and we....

JACK: No, no, no, you don't understand. I'm going to be tied up in meetings all day and you said you wanted to be as close to Carly as possible. Isn't that right?

JENNIFER: Yeah that's right.

 

SHE HESITATES BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY IS PLAYING AN ACCORDION IN THE HALL.

 

JACK: Well.

JENNIFER: I don't want to be away from Carly.

JACK: Well that's important.

JENNIFER: Do you hear something? What is that?

JACK: Do I hear what something, what?

JENNIFER: It sounds like an accordion.

JACK: Well it must be jive or something.

JENNIFER: No it's a polka Jack.

JACK: Polka? Perhaps it's the Eastern European in you.

JENNIFER: I don't have any Eastern European in me.

JACK: What, well who knows. When they say people in love, the whole world is Polish or German or French or something like that. Anyway, the point is we are not going to turn away this whole vacation.

 

THEY CAN HARDLY HEAR THEMSELVES TALK WITH THE SOUND OF THE ACCORDION.

 

JACK: It's a postponement, not a cancellation.

JENNIFER: Don't tell me you don't hear that.

JACK: Can't hear what? I can't hear anything right now. I'm too busy yelling.

JENNIFER: What is going on out there Jack?

 

SHE DRAGS HIM TO THE DOOR.

 

JACK: Wait a minute. Listen, if you're really interested, you should go find out. I'm not really hearing things myself.

JENNIFER: Well you can wait until we find....

 

SHE OPENS THE DOOR AND IN DANCES THREE PEOPLE DRESSED IN POLKA COSTUMES.

SCENE THREE: JACK AND JENNIFER HAVE JUST FOUND PEOPLE OUTSIDE THEIR DOOR, DRESSED IN POLKA COSTUMES, THEY ARE SINGING AND PLAYING THE ACCORDION. TWO OF THEM GRAB JENNIFER AND START DANCING THE POLKA IN CIRCLES WHILE JACK SMILES FROM BEHIND. JACK CLAPS WITH THE MUSIC FOR A FEW SECONDS.

 

JACK: Right, that's okay. What's halt in German? Halt.

 

THE MUSIC STOPS AND THEY ALL SMILE AT JACK.

 

JACK: Yes.

 

THE WOMAN GIVES JENNIFER AN EMBROIDERED CUSHION.

 

WOMAN: It's for you. All for you.

MAN: Message for lovely blonde lady.

JENNIFER: Oh, well that's very beautiful. What does it say?

 

SHE TURNS THE CUSHION AROUND AND IT HAS AN EMBROIDERED PINK HEART IN THE MIDDLE WITH THE WORDS, "ICH LIEBE DICH."

MAN: It says, Ich liebe dich, I made it.

JENNIFER: Oh.

WOMAN: He has very good fingers.

JENNIFER: Oh I see. What does it mean?

MAN: "I LOVE YOU."

JENNIFER: Oh, oooooh. Will you excuse me for one minute? Jack, come here.

 

SHE TAKES JACK ASIDE.

 

JACK: Yes

JENNIFER: You know what, I couldn't understand a word he said, could you?

JACK: Yah, well you know.... reasonably.

JENNIFER: Oh, well, what did he say?

 

JACK SMILES.

JACK: Oh well very simply said Ich.... Ich liebe Dich.

JENNIFER: I meant, in English.

JACK: Oh that's.... well.

JENNIFER: But I guess if Ich liebe Dich is all I'm going to get it's better than nothing.

 

SHE GIVES HIM A BIG KISS.

 

JENNIFER: If I can't have it in English, I'll take it in German.

JACK: Alright, Ich liebe Dich, Jennifer.

JENNIFER: Ich liebe Dich to you too.

 

THEY BOTH GIGGLE AND SHE HITS HIM WITH THE CUSHION.

 

JACK: Well Ich liebe Dich Dich.

 

THEY KISS AGAIN.

SCENE FOUR: THE POLKA PARTY CONTINUES FOR A WHILE.

FINALLY JENNIFER OPENS THE DOOR AND HUNTS THEM OUT. JACK IS NOW WEARING ONE OF THEIR ALPINE HATS AND IS DANCING AND SINGING TOO. JACK GIVES THE GUY BACK HIS HAT AS THEY GET IN THE ELEVATOR.

 

JACK: OOOOOH.... OOOOOH.... OOOOOH.

JENNIFER: Wow.

JACK: Aoiye.

 

JACK WRIGGLES TO LOOSEN HIS BACK AFTER ALL THE DANCING.

 

JENNIFER: Did you have a good time?

JACK: Yeah, I recognize I had a fairly good time.

JENNIFER: I haven't seen you have that much physical out and out fun since our wedding.

JACK: Well that's cause you always want to turn the lights out when we go to bed.

JENNIFER: To save you from embarrassment Jack.

JACK: Yeah, well next time don't save me.

JENNIFER: Alright, next time I won't. You know I was thinking about this conversation that I had with Hawk on my birthday.

JACK: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I just planned a surprise for my wife and now suddenly all she's talking about is Baby Howie.

JENNIFER: I was just saying that most husbands would hire a string quartet or strolling violinists for their birthday or to impress them and I said that you would hire a polka band.

JACK: Oh that's.... that's what you said.

JENNIFER: Huh, huh. So I guess that means that I know you pretty well. And I guess that means I also know your deep dark thoughts.

JACK: You think you know my deep dark thoughts, huh?

JENNIFER: Huh, huh. Try me.

JACK: Alright. (Beat) You know what I'm thinking right now?

JENNIFER: I hope so.

jACK: Alright, let's test it.

 

HE GRABS BY THE HAND.

 

JENNIFER: Alright, with the lights ON Jack. (Beat) Whoa, the bedroom's this way.

SCENE FIVE: JACK HAS JUST DRAGGED SHE THINKS HE IS TAKING HER TO THE BEDROOM, BUT HE HAS NOT, INSTEAD THEY ARE STANDING OUTSIDE THE DININGROOM..

 

JACK: Ah yes but this.... um, this is a night of surprises so let's see what happens next.

 

HE OPENS THE DOORS AND THE TABLE IS SET FOR A BEAUTIFUL DINNER.

 

JENNIFER: Oh Jack!

JACK: Well what did you expect? We're working our way towards lights on so we should just start subtle with candles.

JENNIFER: When did you get a chance to do this?

JACK: Between polkas. Please right this way. You know the man you married is very clever and very slippery.

JENNIFER: So I've heard.

JACK: Yes. Oh what do we have over here?

 

JACK RUNS OVER TO SOME COVERED DISHES.

 

JACK: Let's check this out.

 

HE LIFTS THE COVERS ONE AT A TIME.

JACK: Hmmm. Oh lobsters. Yum, yum, yum. A little scallops. Hmmm, shrimps on the barbie over there. And.... oh I know this is special. The piece de la resistance!

 

HE PLACES THE DISH IN FRONT OF HER.

 

JACK(CONT.): Check this out.

JENNIFER: You want me to open this?

JACK: Please do.

 

HE KNEELS BEHIND HER AS SHE LIFTS THE NAPKIN. ON THE TRAY IS A SILVER NECKLACE WITH A HEART LOCKET ON THE END.

 

JENNIFER: Oh.... oh Jack. Oh my gosh Jack.

JACK: The chef is hoping you'll wear it in good health. That would make him very happy. Here, before it gets....

JENNIFER: No, no, wait, I want to open it up and see what it says inside.

 

SHE OPENS IT AND IT CONTAINS A PICTURE OF HER AND JACK BEFORE THEY WERE MARRIED.

 

JENNIFER: Oh Jack.

JACK: Perhaps I could put it on now before it.... gets too cold.

 

HE CAREFULLY AND LOVINGLY PUTS IT OVER HER HEAD.

JENNIFER: It'll never get cold Jack.

JACK: How can you be so confident about that?

JENNIFER: Because I know all the ingredients that went into it. (Beat) You're not really hungry are you?

JACK: What, for any of that food over there? No, not really.

JENNIFER: I'm not either. Why don't we start with dessert?

JACK: Well I thought you'd never ask.

 

SHE RAISES HER EYEBROWS AT HIM.

 

JACK: After you.

 

SHE STANDS UP AND HE PICKS HER UP WITH A BIG HEAVE AND SIGH.

JACK: After me. whoa, yes.

JENNIFER: No more polkaing for you.

JACK: Well at least not for a little while.

 

HE STRUGGLES AND STRAINS TO CARRY HER TO THE BEDROOM.

 

JACK: I tell you if you're a good girl maybe we'll come back and get some whipped cream.

JENNIFER: WHOA!

JACK: But then again considering my back....

JENNIFER: Maybe not.

JACK: Maybe not.

JENNIFER: Ich Liebe Dich!

JACK: ICH LIEBE DICH.... LIEBE DICH.

SCENE SIX: SOME TIME LATER THEY ARE IN BED AFTER MAKING LOVE WITH THE LIGHTS OFF.

THEY KISS PASSIONATELY AND THEN JACK RUBS HIS NOSE AGAINST HERS.

 

JACK: How do you feel?

JENNIFER: I'm hungry.

JACK: Still?

JENNIFER: No, for real food.

JACK: Oh! Well, well, I suppose I could help out with that. Excuse me, pardon me.

JENNIFER: Oh.

 

JACK WRIGGLES ACROSS THE BED UNDER JENNIFER AND GETS OUT.

 

JENNIFER (CONT.): Excuse me, pardon me.

JACK: Pardon me. Ah, I'll bring a little feast for the feast, how's that?

JENNIFER: Thank you.

JACK: Sure. I'm keeping the lights out.

JENNIFER: I'll turn them on.

JACK: I'm gone!

 

SHE LAUGHS AS HE DISAPPEARS TO GET SOME FOOD. WHEN HE IS GONE, SHE GETS OUT HER DIARY TO ADD AN ENTRY.

Tonight's been one of the best night's Jack and I have ever had. We were supposed to go out of town for a couple of days but he always seems to come up with a way to turn things around and make even staying at home special. And even if he does have a hard time telling me how he feels, he finds his ways. Tonight he gave me a beautiful locket with a picture of the two of us inside. I don't even remember when we took it and it's the best picture. It's my favorite picture now. I will wear this locket as long as I live. That way I can feel him close to me, always.