oldEpisode Three-hundred-eighty-seven: It Is
SCENE ONE: IT IS SALE DAY AT THE DEVERAUX' . OUTSIDE THERE IS A STORM BREWING.
SHE HAS SET UP A MIRROR FOR SALE AND IS DISTRACTED BY HOW PREGNANT SHE LOOKS.
JACK: The weather couldn't be any better for today. The wind is quite literally howling in the doorstep. Not that we have a doorstep. But if we had one it would be howling along with the wolf. (Beat) What are you smiling about? Today's our Waterloo. We're going to lose hearth and home today.
JENNIFER: Come here Jack, look at this.
JACK: Look at what?
JENNIFER: Look in the mirror, what do you see?
JACK: Oh my gosh, would you look at that.
JACK: Wait a minute.
HE RUNS UP AND POLISHES OFF A MARK ON THE MIRROR.
JENNIFER: Wait.... what are you doing?
JACK: I.... what do you think I'm doing? I'm wiping off the smudge. How do you expect anybody to buy this if it's all dirty.
JENNIFER: Jack, I'm not talking about the smudge. I'm talking about this.
SHE HOLDS HER STOMACH.
JACK: This, what?
JENNIFER: This. This is the baby. It's starting to show a little bit, don't you think?
JACK: It's a little soon don't you think?
JENNIFER: Well a lot of women, they start to show right away. Like my friend Lynn at the station. She's started to show as soon as she found out she was pregnant.
JACK: Isn't she the one who had that 18 pounder or something like that?
JENNIFER: No, but it was 11 pounds. He's two years old now, he's big but....
JACK: Big, big. How tall is he, six foot six? We can't afford to have a baby that big Jennifer.
JENNIFER: We're not going to have a huge baby. It'll just be a large baby.
JACK: Large babies eat alot, alright.
JENNIFER: Well mother's milk is free.
JACK: Yeah, mother's milk is free, yes. I hope you plan on nursing for the next decade. If you're not, we have to start thinking about things like food bills. I mean I hope this kid likes hot dogs and macaroni and cheese because that's all it's going to get.
JENNIFER: Well that's all most kids eat anyway.
JACK: Well that's good with the exception of the fact that he's a Deveraux and he'll probably have a penchant for patŘ foie gras.
JENNIFER: Come on, come over here would you?
JACK: What, patŘ foie gars is a very....
JENNIFER: I know.
JACK: .... nutritious food.
SHE WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND HER AND PUTS HIS HANDS ON HER STOMACH.
JENNIFER: Look in the mirror, what do you see?
JENNIFER: I see a very lucky couple and you know why they're so lucky?
JENNIFER: Because they have it all. They have love....
SUDDENLY THE MIRROR FALLS OVER AND BREAKS.
SCENE TWO: JACK LOOKS IN SHOCK AFTER THE MIRROR BREAKS, IT IS OBVIOUS HE IS SUPERSTITIOUS AND SEES THIS AS A SIGN.
JACK: They have it all alright. They have seven years of bad luck.
JACK STARTS TO PICK UP THE SHARDS OF BROKEN MIRROR.
JACK: Will you look, will you just look at this?
JENNIFER: It's just a mirror Jack.
JACK: What do you mean, just a mirror? It's just seven years bad luck, that's what it is.
JENNIFER: Oh I don't believe in that. That's silly.
JACK: Well you better start believing it. Look at this, this is one of our more expensive items. We won't be getting any money from this, will we? No siree Bob, of course then again we won't get many money from anything as long as nobody shows up. Half an hour into the sale and nobody shows up. No customers.
JENNIFER: The wind storm is probably holding a lot of them back.
JACK: That's right. What did I say, bad luck. We're probably going to have to just get everything together and pay someone to cart it away.
JENNIFER: Well we can always donate all of it.
JACK: Yeah, if we needed the deductions, which we don't.
JENNIFER: You shouldn't just give to charity for the tax write-off Jack.
JACK: But we are a charity, don't you.... I can't believe I said that. I can't believe I said that. We have become one of them. One of those nameless, faceless, huddled masses just relying on the kindness of strangers, taking bread crumbs from people we don't even....
JENNIFER: It is not like that Jack.
JACK: Jennifer you don't understand. I grew up hearing about this sort of thing. Bed time stories, horror stories from Harper kept me up all night thinking about people. They had it one day, the next day it was all for sale. I used to think why, WHY did this happen? I mean why were they so stupid to lose their money? Now I know! I know it's because....
JENNIFER: Listen.... listen to me! There is nothing wrong with not having a lot of money.
JACK: Unless you want to eat.JENNIFER: We are not going to starve. We are going to get through this, alright. Don't you remember, contra mundum?
JACK: Right, right. You and me against the world. It's going to be you, me and the world's biggest baby.
JENNIFER: Alright, alright, it's a big baby Jack. Okay but this baby is going to have everything that he or she will ever need.
THE DOORBELL RINGS.
JACK: Well it looks like the vultures have landed ready to pick the carcass clean.
JENNIFER: Alright, why don't you stay here and I'll get the door.
JACK: Watch out for the beats.
JENNIFER OPENS THE DOOR TO THEIR FIRST CUSTOMER.
JENNIFER: Hi, come on in.
WOMAN: Oh am I at the right place?
JENNIFER: Oh you sure are. You're our first customer.
THE WOMAN WALKS STRAIGHT IN WITH HER EYES CHECKING OUT EVERYTHING THAT IS FOR SALE.
JACK: Excuse me.
ALICE AND TOM WALK IN NEXT.
ALICE: Jennifer. Oh darling.
JENNIFER: Hello, hello Grandpa. Come on in.
TOM: We just thought we'd stop by and see how the sale was going.
JENNIFER: Well I'm doing fine. Jack's taking it pretty hard.
MEANWHILE THE WOMAN CUSTOMER HAS PICKED UP THE JADE PLANT.
JACK: Ah, I don't think you really want that.
WOMAN: Oh yes I do.
JACK: I think that.... JENNIFER.... I think that it's not for sale. Is it.... JENNIFER!
WOMAN: It wouldn't be out if it wasn't for sale.
JACK: I think.... listen, you could get your own little Chia Pet.... or whatever it is you want but I think my wife would kill me if I let this go.
JENNIFER: I'm going to break this up, okay. Excuse me. Could I have that for one second, please. JACK: Oh.
JENNIFER MANAGES TO GET THE JADE PLANT BACK FROM THE CUSTOMER. SHE WALKS BACK OVER TO TOM AND ALICE.
JENNIFER: Well I managed to save something from the auction block although it's not going to be enough. Not for Jack, anyway.
TOM: How about I cover for you with Jack, while you handle the rest of the crowd that's coming in.
JENNIFER: Thanks Grandpa.
ALICE: How are you and baby doing?
JENNIFER: I'm fine.
ALICE: How's Jack handling it?
JENNIFER: He's dealing with it. I mean I wish I could make it easier for him because he thinks that things are hopeless. I wish there was something that I could do to make him feel better. (Beat) Oh, I know.
ALICE: Evidently you just thought of something.
JENNIFER: Yes, you know what grandma. Why don't you just stay here please and sort of help them out with all this. I don't think a lot of people are going to come anyway cause I'm going to go do something.
ALICE: Alright, you go and do whatever you have to do.
JENNIFER: I will. Thanks.
JENNIFER RUNS OUT.
JACK: Doctor, keep an eye on this one for me, would you?
JACK: Mrs. Horton, where did she go? She can't just leave me here like this.
ALICE: Well she's doing something she has to do.
JACK: No, no, no, you don't have to cover. I understand. She just couldn't stand to see her life reduced to a garage sale.
ALICE: Oh darling, actually it's not as bad....
JACK: No really, I'm telling you, I understand. After all the pain and the suffering, she doesn't want spectators.... well then again, it's really nothing to worry about. I mean we'll get out of this in no time.
ALICE: What do you mean?JACK: I'm just.... listen, could you and the good doctor just mind the store for a minute. I have to do something myself.
SCENE THREE: JENNIFER HAS GONE TO THE BEAUTY PARLOR FOR A FULL TREATMENT
SCENE FOUR: MEANWHILE JACK GOES DOWN TO THE SPECTATOR.
JACK: Alright Eddie, I'll take over from here.
EDDIE: Mr. Scofield didn't tell me anything about that.
JACK: Well Mr. Scofield told me and you don't want to go against something Mr. Scofield says right? I mean if I was you, I wouldn't. Remember it's a cold cruel world out there.
JACK MOVES EDDIE AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER.
EDDIE: Well it's all yours.
JACK: Yes.... it certainly is. Have a good evening. I know that I will.
JACK SITS DOWN AND STARTS TYPING.
SCENE FIVE: LATER THAT DAY, ALICE AND TOM HAVE FINISHED WITH THE SALE. ALL THAT IS LEFT IS THE JADE PLANT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EMPTY LIVING ROOM FLOOR WHEN JACK COMES HOME.
JACK: What happened?
JACK: Everything was sold?
ALICE: You wouldn't believe it. Remember that woman who was here earlier?
JACK: Flea market flossy.
TOM: Right, she went out and got her friends and came back and bought the lot.JACK: Well I wouldn't doubt it. Vultures like the probably haven't seen a deal since the Indians were fleeced out of Manhattan.
ALICE: Oh, here's your money.
JACK: Oh, thank you.
JACK WANDERS AROUND THE EMPTY ROOM.
TOM: Jack, I'm sorry about what's happened to the two of you. But I know you, you'll bounce back.
JACK: Yes, yes, we will bounce back. I am.... I know we will.
TOM: Hey, that's the spirit.
ALICE: Come on Tom, I think we better go.
TOM: Right, goodnight, Jack.
TOM AND ALICE LEAVE AND JACK LOOKS AT THE MONEY THEY GAVE HIM. HE IS DEPRESSED THAT IT IS SO LITTLE FOR ALL THEIR POSSESSIONS.
SCENE SIX: A SHORT TIME LATER, JENNIFER JENNIFER RETURNS HOME.
JENNIFER: Jack, I.... oh.... hi. Well I guess everything's sold.
JACK: And this is what we've got to show for it.
HE WAVES THE MONEY AT HER.
JENNIFER: So, do we have the place to ourselves?
JACK: Till midnight at least.
JENNIFER: Good, good. That's a perfect amount of time.
JACK: Perfect amount of time for what?
JENNIFER: For this.
JENNIFER SITS DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND LAYS OUT A TABLECLOTH.
JACK: What are you.... what are you doing? I thought we sold that. What is....
JENNIFER: Okay, let's see.
JACK: What are you doing?
JENNIFER TAKES TWO CANDLES OUT OF HER SHOPPING BAG.
JENNIFER: Now wait Jack, look before you start worrying, I just want you to know that my manicure and my make-over were part of a free introductory offer, okay. And everything else, I got with coupons, so we'll be fine.
SHE GETS OUT SOME MATCHES AND LIGHTS THE CANDLES.
JACK: I'd rather not hear about coupons right now.
JENNIFER: Look I know how upset you are about all this, alright. But it's going to be okay.
JACK: Yes, yes, it will be okay.
JENNIFER: What do you mean?
JACK: I mean I'd rather not hear about coupons right now.
JACK IS STILL OVERCOME BY THE EMPTY APARTMENT BUT HE LOVES THE WAY SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE IT A HAPPY TIME. HE LEANS OVER TO HER.
JACK: I tell you something, perhaps we should find another use for those lips than talking....
HE KISSES HER.
JACK (CONT.): .... about coupons.
HE KISSES HER AGAIN WITH PASSION. THEY STAND UP, STILL KISSING AND HE PICKS HER UP.
JACK (CONT.): Ooooooh!
JENNIFER: Big baby!
JACK: Oh it's an 18 pounder.
HE STAGGERS INTO THE BEDROOM WITH HER AND KICKS OPEN THE DOOR.
JACK: OOOOOH.... WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?
THEY WALK BACK OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM.
JENNIFER: I'm sorry, I'm sorry Jack. I completely forgot. I'm sorry.
JACK: I can't believe you.... sold the bed.
JENNIFER: No, I didn't sell the bed.
JACK: Then where is the bed?
JENNIFER: I had the movers take it over to our new apartment.
THE POWER GOES OFF AND THEY ARE IN THE DARK.
JACK: Oh, well isn't this lovely? First no bed and then no power.
THEY SIT DOWN AT HER PICNIC.
JACK: A perfect romantic setting.
JENNIFER: Well, at least we have candlelight.
JACK: Yeah, that and some.... squashed flowers, yes.
JENNIFER: We have each other.
JACK: That's right, we do.
HE KISSES HER AND THEY FALL BACK ONTO THE FLOOR.
SCENE SEVEN: LATER, JACK IS LYING WITH HIS SHIRT OFF AND JUST HIS CARDIGAN ON OVER HIS PANTS. SHE IS LYING WITH HER COAT OVER HER.
JENNIFER: You know Jack, I know it was hard for you today, I do. But you know what, try not to think of it like it's the end of the world. I mean try to think of it like this is a brand new life for us. A brand new life for us and our baby.
JACK: I don't like the idea of starting out a brand new life.... like Duke. Broke, on the outs, soon to be fighting and drinking my way into oblivion. Who knows, maybe soon I'll be forcing you to put the baby up for adoption or something like that.
JENNIFER: Come on Jack, that is never going to happen. You are not like Duke, you have never been like him and you never will be.
JACK LOOKS ACROSS AT HER WITH LOVE.
JENNIFER: Look what we have to concentrate on now is filling our new home with a lot of love and a lot of happiness. JACK: And a lot of schmaltz!
JENNIFER: Jack! Come on.
JACK: Sorry. (Beat) Sorry, you're right. We're going to.... we're going to turn it around. We're going to get everything back.
JENNIFER: That's right.
JACK: Or we'll die trying.
JACK TURNS AWAY THINKING ABOUT THEIR FUTURE.