oldEpisode Four-hundred-sixteen: "I Had This
Little Furry Little Kitten...": Jack Embarrasses
Himself During Their Crossfire Segment.
Jennifer Is Sure He Is Having an Affair

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[Air date late May 1992]

 

SCENE ONE: IT IS A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER AND JENNIFER IS AT THE STUDIO LOOKING AT THE HANDKERCHIEF THAT JACK GAVE HER DAYS BEFORE. SHE IS STILL PUZZLED ABOUT THE LIPSTICK ON IT.

 

JENNIFER: Who would wear even this color? What kind of woman would even consider wearing this color lipstick?

 

JACK WALKS IN BEHIND HER.

 

JACK: There she is ready to give her opinion, ill informed as it may be.

JENNIFER: Well it's about time. Where have you been?

JACK: Where have I been?

JENNIFER: You never showed up at the carnival. I waited all morning and all afternoon. Maybe you tell me what's going on round here Jack.

JACK: Well....

 

DAN COMES OVER FULL OF ENTHUSIASM.

 

DAN: Jennifer, this is incredible.

JENNIFER: Dan, not now.

JACK: Yes, Dan, now. Whatever it is just tell me. What is it?

DAN: These are the ratings for your last show. You guys have really caught on. We sold whatever commercial spot we had for tonight at twice the normal rate.

JENNIFER: Are you serious?

DAN: Yeah, you're a gold mine.

JACK: Dan, we need to talk for a moment.

DAN: Yeah, yeah, sure. Look at these. I mean we're talking television history here. You guys are the biggest team since Huntley and Brinkley. Ah....you're the team of the 90s.

 

JACK GUIDES DAN AWAY FROM JENNIFER.

 

JACK: We may have a problem with that.

DAN: Ah look whatever it is. More publicity, more....money, you've got it. Nothing is too good for my favorite team.

JACK: No that's just it. We may not be a team much longer.

DAN: What?

 

JACK PULLS DAN FURTHER AWAY FROM JENNIFER.

 

JACK: Just....you heard what I said, Jennifer and I may not be together much longer.

DAN: Jack what are you talking about?

JACK: Dan, please keep it down.

DAN: What could possibly have happened to make you walk out when you're on the verge of being household names?

JACK: Look, I'm not interested in being an actor. I didn't get involved with this just to stroke myself. (Beat) Alright, maybe I did just a little. But my heart lies with The Spectator. If it rises again, I want to rise with it. So my hands will be full. I will not have time to play Ricky to her Lucy on your show. I'm sorry.

DAN: Look Jack, we'll do anything we can. We'll work....

JACK: Look you have nothing to worry about. You have Jennifer under contract.

DAN: Yeah sure but by herself.

JACK: Listen you just get yourself another loud-mouthed jerk and they'll never miss me.

DAN: No, I think you're selling yourself short here Jack.

JACK: I am serious about this. Don't you understand? I am dead serious, dead.

DAN: Yeah I can see that.

JACK: So just promise me. Look me in the eye and tell me that when I'm....here to fight with or fight for Jennifer, you will be. Now if can look me in the eye and make me believe it, I might actually stay around for a few more shows. You'd like that wouldn't you?

DAN: Yeah, yeah, I want you as long as I can get you.

JACK: So do it, say it. Swear to me as long as you are here at the station, Jennifer will have a job here at the station. Swear it....or I'll haunt you forever.

DAN: Ha....haunt?

 

JACK GRABS DAN BY THE COLLAR.

 

JACK: Just SWEAR IT, SWEAR IT!

DAN: I swear it Jack. What has come over you? Look the station loves Jennifer. What's this all about?

JACK: It's nothing....it's nothing at all. I didn't say anything, you didn't hear anything, nothing happened.

DAN: You're acting very strange Jack.

JACK: I may now know north by northwest but I still know Hawk from Hansall, Dan. You know me.

DAN: Yeah Jack, we've known each other long enough. So be honest with me, I mean is there something going on that you're not telling me about?

 

JACK GLANCES OVER AT JENNIFER.

 

DAN: Is there anything I can do?

JACK: No, no, no, nothing. Everything's fine. As long as Jennifer's alright, all is right with the world.

 

JACK WALKS AWAY FROM DAN.

SCENE TWO: JACK SNATCHES HIS SCRIPT OFF THE NEWSDESK WITHOUT SAYING A WORD TO JENNIFER. SHE IS HURT BY THE WAY HE SEEMS TO BE IGNORING HER. SHE APPROACHES HIM TO FIND OUT WHAT IS GOING ON.

 

JACK: I think we need to concentrate on the show.

JENNIFER: I want to know why you're so....

 

JACK SEES BRIAN WALK PAST.

 

JACK: Oh Brian Scofield, what a surprise.

BRIAN: What do you mean? Jack you invited me here to talk about last night.

JACK: Yes, yes, I am very sorry about the way I acted before. I'm very sorry.

 

JENNIFER IS CONFUSED.

 

JACK: Jennifer say hello. You remember our old friend Brian.

JENNIFER: Remember him? I spent most of last night with him. Do you remember?

JACK: Yes I remember. And wait till you see her here today. She's amazing. There is no one in this entire business who works the camera the way she does. And smart? It's only matched by her beauty.

JENNIFER: Jack?

JACK: She writes her own copy, did you know that?

BRIAN: No, I wasn't aware.

JACK: Every word, every syllable, right in this beautiful head.

 

HE WRAPS AN ARM AROUND HER AND SQUEEZES HER.

 

DAN: Would you both please sit....sit. I'll take care of your friend over here.

 

DAN GRABS BRIAN'S ARM.

 

DAN: Detective, why don't you come right over here....

BRIAN: This way?

DAN: No right over here and sit over here in my chair and that way you won't miss a thing.

JACK: That's good. Dan, that's good. Make sure he doesn't miss a thing. Brian keep your eyes peeled right here. You will not believe the kind of things she's written, the kind of things she's said. It's heart breaking.

JENNIFER: I would really love to know what you're up to Jack.

JACK: There's nothing wrong with a husband being proud, wanting to show you off a little bit.

DAN: Okay, quiet on the set everybody.

JACK: Look at Brian. You didn't even say hello to him. There's nothing wrong with saying hello. Just say hello.

 

HE TAKES HER HAND AND WAVES IT FOR HER. SHE JUST THINKS HE IS WEIRD.

 

DIRECTOR: Okay, 15 seconds. 15 seconds. Quiet everyone. Please, let's get ready.

JACK: Brian!

 

BRIAN LOOKS UP AS JACK CALLS HIM. JACK THEN POINTS TO JENNIFER AND BRIAN THINKS JACK IS WEIRD ALSO.

SCENE THREE: JACK AND JENNIFER ARE JUST ABOUT TO DO THEIR CROSSFIRE SEGMENT. BRIAN IS THERE AND JACK IS TRYING TO GET HIM TO PAY ATTENTION TO JENNIFER. MEANWHILE, EVERYONE IS PERPLEXED BY JACK'S STRANGE BEHAVIOR.

 

DIRECTOR: Ten. Alright, stand by. Alright, clear the set everyone, please. In five, four, three, two....

JENNIFER: Welcome back to the Crossfire segment of this program. I'm Jennifer Deveraux.

JACK: And I'm Jack. (Beat) The one who's right.

JENNIFER: Tonight we're going to be discussing a very vital issue.

JACK: Animal rights. Would you care to proceed Jennifer?

JENNIFER: Absolutely, thank you Jack. (Beat) The time has come to stop the brutal exploitation of innocent creatures for purely economic gain. The sadistic trapping of small animals for their skin or furs, the pain and torment inflicted in the testing of cosmetics, the slaughter of the whale to near extinction. These are living, breathing, feeling creatures. Think the next time a cat curls up in your lap or you run with your dog in the park. We need to establish a policy on these and other animal related issues and we need to do it now because we can. Because we are animals not only capable of feeling but of thought and of conscience. It's our responsibility to the world and to the environment and to ourselves. Thank you. Jack I suppose you support the rights of these profit making interests in this area?

JACK: I....I....I had a kitten once. I did. No, I did. I don't think I ever told you this. I had a little kitten once. I was nine years old and I....I had this little furry little kitten and I....

 

JENNIFER IS WORRIED ABOUT JACK AND WHAT HE IS GOING TO SAY NEXT.

 

JACK: ....I never had a name. I only had it for two weeks before it....it ran away or Harper got....rid of it but it gave me so much joy just to sleep on my bed every night. And I can't tell you how much that made me feel I mean what you said about the animals. It's true. It's really true. I mean we have to....we have to appreciate every little moment that we have with....

JACK: (CONT.):I mean life is so precious, it is isn't it. (Beat) Every little....I....I'm sorry. I'm sorry. (Beat) Call your Congressman, call the President. Please, stop wearing that make-up, stop wearing that perfume. Think about Bambi, America. Think about Bambi. This is....this is Jack Deveraux and this....

JENNIFER: And this was Crossfire. Goodnight everybody.

DIRECTOR: We're clear.

 

DAN SCRATCHES HIS HEAD OVER JACK'S PERFORMANCE.

 

DAN: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

BRIAN: That....that was inspiring. That wasn't Jack Deveraux....that was....eeeesh.

 

JACK IS STILL SITTING IN HIS SEAT CONTEMPLATING WHEN JENNIFER LEANS OVER AND WHISPERS TO HIM.

 

JENNIFER: That is it Jack. I have had enough. I want to know what in hell is going on with you.

 

JACK LOOKS AT JENNIFER AND KNOWS THAT HE CANNOT EXPLAIN. MEANWHILE DAN IS AFTER HIS HEAD.

 

JACK: I just gave my honest opinion. What do you want me to do? That's what you hired me for, isn't it?

DAN: Well yeah, but not to lead a prayer meeting for Bambi.

JACK: Look, what's wrong with me having the same opinions with Jennifer? Can't we have something in common, for once?

DAN: Can somebody please talk to this man? I need an aspirin substitute or five or....twelve.

 

DAN WALKS AWAY IN FRUSTRATION.

 

JENNIFER: Jack?

JACK: Tell me please. (Beat) At least you....you liked what I said, didn't you?

JENNIFER: You know what, I really think that you need to go home and get some rest. Would you like that, to get some rest maybe?

 

JACK REALIZES THAT SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND.

 

JACK: Yes....yes I'm going to get Brian and we'll go.

JENNIFER: Look Jack, if you're going home with me, we don't need Brian to go home with us, okay. Brian can go home to his home.

JACK: You know it's the right idea at the wrong time. I just realized I have so much work to do at The Spectator. I have all these rewrites to do on the copy and it....everything like that.

 

HE HATES LYING TO HER.

 

JENNIFER: You don't have to go to The Spectator tonight either.

JACK: I don't?

JENNIFER: No and you don't have to keep making excuses. If you don't want to see me just tell me that you don't want to see me Jack.

JACK: No, no, that's not....that's not it at all.

JENNIFER: Then what is it? What is this all about?

JACK: Look I'm not avoiding you. If I was avoiding anything the least of it would be you.

JENNIFER: I don't believe you.

JACK: Why?

JENNIFER: Because I don't. That's all.

JACK: Jennifer, would you just listen to me for a second? There's nothing in the world I want more than you and there's no one in the world I want to be with more than you.

JENNIFER: Then why is all this happening. I don't understand.

JACK: I made a fool of myself up there Jennifer. (Beat) I made a fool of myself in front of everyone and you know how that makes me feel. (Beat) Please, I just need a little time to....to just talk to myself. So please just....Brian, just take Jennifer home please?

BRIAN: But I have....

JACK: Make sure she gets home alright, please?

BRIAN: I....

JACK: Please, and she'll be fine and you'll be fine and that'll make me feel fine. I just need....I just need some time....please.

 

JACK WALKS AWAY AND IS UPSET.

 

BRIAN: Jack's a little strung out today, isn't he?

JENNIFER: Yeah. Yeah aren't we all?

SCENE FOUR: JACK DOES NOT GO TO THE SPECTATOR. INSTEAD HE GOES DOWN TO THE CHEATIN' HEART FOR A BEER. HE IS SITTING AT A TABLE ALONE WHEN BRIAN ENTERS.

 

JACK: BRIAN!!! Brian what the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be with Jennifer, guarding her.

BRIAN: Take it easy. She didn't want to come right home and she's with Carly and it's not like she's in any kind of danger or anything. Just relax.

JACK: You're right. I'm sorry, sit, please join me.

BRIAN: Right.

JACK: I'm very sorry.

 

THE BARMAN BRINGS BRIAN'S BEER.

 

JACK: Chuck, put his beer on my tab.

CHUCK: What?

BRIAN: Are you sure you're okay Jack?

JACK: Yes, yes, I'm okay. I'm just fine. I just....want to make up to you for being so odd before. I figure this is such a good time to get to know each other. I mean you're alright for a Scofield.

BRIAN: Oh really, thank you. A heart as big as Iowa. Cheers.

JACK: Cheers. You know I....I really feel good about sharing my fortunes here with you because....I mean I may not have much but I do have a job. I have a place to sleep at night but most of all I have a wonderful wife.

BRIAN: That's for sure.

JACK: A wife that's not only beautiful but intelligent and talented.

BRIAN: I'm telling you after all the time I've been spending with her Jack, I mean she is an incredible woman.

JACK: To say the least.

BRIAN: No really, I mean she's amazing. I mean you should be very lucky to have her as a wife. I mean any guy to have her would be the luckiest guy in the whole world.

JACK: Very intuitive of you Brian. (Beat) Chuck, another beer for my friend. And you are my friend. Let me tell you something Brian, I think we have a lot to talk about tonight.

SCENE FOUR: MEANWHILE JENNIFER IS DOWN AT BO'S BOAT WITH CARLY. CARLY SENSES THAT THINGS ARE NOT GREAT BETWEEN JACK AND JENNIFER AND JENNIFER.

 

CARLY: How are things going with Jack?

JENNIFER: Ah....

CARLY: Oh gosh, Jen. What?

JENNIFER: Well I wish I knew.

CARLY: What are you talking about? What is he up to?

JENNIFER: That's just it. I don't really know. Um, he just rushes out with lousy excuses at a moment's notice and I can't get him to tell me where he's going.

CARLY: Well you must have some idea.

JENNIFER: Yeah I have an idea. I have a really good idea.

CARLY: What is it? What?

JENNIFER: I know how this is going to sound. I just....I just started wondering that maybe Jack could be seeing another woman, that's all.

CARLY: No, Jennifer.

JENNIFER: Carly I'm serious, I really am.

CARLY: There's no way. Get it out of your mind.

JENNIFER: But you know Jack. You know how charming he is. He's very charming sometimes.

CARLY: But trust me. You have nothing to worry about alright. He loves you. He loves you more than anything in this world.

SCENE SIX: DOWN AT THE CHEATIN' HEART, JACK IS VERY DRUNK AND HE'S TRYING TO PLAY POOL. HE IS HOLDING THE CUE BEHIND HIS BACK AND TRYING TO SHOOT AS JENNIFER ENTERS. SHE POKES HIS BACKSIDE WITH THE CUE STICK.

 

JACK: HOOOOOEEEEE, WHOA WATCH THAT. (Beat) Hi, what are....what are doing here?

JENNIFER: I saw your car out front. What are you doing here?

JACK: What....am I doing here? Help me Brian.

JENNIFER: And where are all the women by the way?

JACK: The women?

JENNIFER: Well isn't that why men spend most of their nights in bars instead of home with their wives because there's women in a bar. So there should be a lot of women here right with a lot of cheap lipstick, Jack.

BRIAN: Did she say cheap lipstick?

JACK: I don't know. I think she means....what do you mean by....

JENNIFER: I am tired of playing games. I want an explanation. I want to know what you are doing in this bar right now, Jack.

JACK: Well I'm....I'm....I'm sitting here talking to....to....

BRIAN: Brian.

JACK: .....to Brian, my good friend. We're getting very close.

 

JACK WRAPS HIS ARM AROUND BRIAN'S SHOULDER.

 

JENNIFER: Really?

BRIAN: That's right, we are. (Beat) We are?

JENNIFER: So do I have to get really close to Brian too, in order to get really close to you? Is that what you're saying?

JACK: I don't know. That might be a good idea. You know you had such a good time the other night with the cards, why don't you try a game of pool together? Come on, come on, come on.

JENNIFER: Alright, YES. We will play pool. Come on Brian. Play pool with me.

 

BRIAN IS JUST AS DRUNK AS JACK SO JENNIFER HELPS HIM TO THE POOL TABLE.

 

JACK: Come on, go on Brian.

BRIAN: I'm not into....

 

JENNIFER THEN WHISPERS TO BRIAN.

 

JENNIFER: I want to know what's going on with him and I want to know right now.

BRIAN: Well I don't know. I haven't the foggiest, really. That's the truth. You want to break?

JENNIFER: Yes I want to break. I want to break everything in this whole rotten bar, in this whole rotten town. I am feeling so angry and so frustrated and so MAD.

 

SHE SHOOTS A BALL ACROSS THE TABLE IN ANGER THEN LOOKS ACROSS AT JACK.