SCENE ONE: COUPLE OF DAYS LATER, JACK HAS JUST COME IN THE DOOR WITH TAKE-OUT

 

JENNIFER: Hi there.

JACK: Hello.

JENNIFER: Oh, that smells so good.

JACK: Yes, it's Chicken La Maine.

JENNIFER: I think it's your skin. The scent of your skin. It smells kind of like sunshine. SHE KISSES HIS CHEEK NEAR HIS EAR.

JENNIFER: Right behind your ear there.

JACK: Oh, well I find myself in a bit of a quandary now.

JENNIFER: Oh really, how come?

JACK: Well I was looking forward to sharing some quality time with you and some Chicken La Maine and a little chicken died young but.... ah, now I'm considering sharing something altogether different.

JENNIFER: Too bad I have to leave, huh?

JACK: What do you mean leave? I was given to understand that you were going to spend the rest of the afternoon here.

JENNIFER: Oh no I have to go. I have meetings and I have....

JACK: Meetings?

JENNIFER: In fact I have to leave now. I love you. Goodbye.

JACK: What about....

JENNIFER: I'll see you later.

JACK: Yeah but.... yeah but....

JENNIFER: Goodbye Jack.

 

SHE RUSHES OUT THE DOOR. HE SHAKES HIS HEAD AND LOOKS DOWN AT THE FOOD.

 

JACK: Well, there you have it.

SCENE TWO: JACK, IS DISAPPOINTED, HE HAD EXPECTED TO SPEND TIME WITH JENNIFER, BUT SHE HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO. HE PICKS UP THE BAGS AND TAKES A SEAT NEAR THE DOOR WHERE HE OPENS THE FIRST BAG. JO COMES OUT OF THE KITCHEN.

 

JO: Whoa, it smells tasty.

JACK: Yes, yes.

JO: Oooh look at all that food you've got.

JACK: Yes, perfect timing. You can get a free lunch. Some Chicken La Maine, some mooshoo.

JO: I'm sorry honey I've already eaten. In fact I was just on my way up to check Abby. I'm going to fix her some lunch. Her favorite thing at the moment is those baby pears with some yogurt. She just loves it.

 

JO GOES UPSTAIRS.

 

JACK: Almost as much as I love sharing my quality time with myself.

 

THE PHONE RINGS AND JACK PICKS IT UP.

 

JACK: Hello.

 

A VERY WEIRD DISGUISED VOICE SAYS HIS NAME.

 

JACK: Yes, this is Jack Deveraux.

VOICE: If you want the scoop of the century, meet me at Brady Pub in ten minutes.

JACK: Ah....

 

THE VOICE HANGS UP. JACK RUSHES OUT THE DOOR.

SCENE THREE: ASHORT TIME LATER, JACK ARRIVES AT THE PUT. SHAWN IS ON THE PHONE WAITING FOR HIM TO ARRIVE.

 

SHAWN: Alright, he's coming. I'll get him for you.

 

JACK GOES TO THE BAR.

 

CAROLINE: Oh hi Jack, what can I do for you?

JACK: I.... I'm looking for someone. Is there someone here looking for me?

CAROLINE: Well I just got her a few minutes ago. You might check with Shawn though.

SHAWN: Oh listen Jack, there's a phone call for you.

JACK: Okay, if you....

SHAWN: Oh no, the pay phone. The pay phone right over there.

JACK: Pay phone?

 

HE WALKS OVER AND PICKS UP THE PHONE AND VOICE TALKS TO HIM.

JACK: Hello.

VOICE: Jack Deveraux?

JACK: Yes, this is Jack Deveraux. What do you want?

VOICE: What I want is for you to go to the alley behind Fifth Street.

JACK: The alley behind Fifth Street? That's....

 

THE VOICE HANGS UP. JACK IS SUSPICIOUS BUT HE LEAVES ANYWAY.

SCENE FOUR: A SHORT TIME LATER, JACK ARRIVES AT THE APPOINTED LOCATION OF HIS SECRET MEETING.

 

JACK: Great.

 

HE STARTS TO LEAVE WHEN A DOOR OPENS AND THE VOICE CALLS HIM TO COME INSIDE. VOICE: In here. JACK IS WARY BUT GOES INSIDE. IT IS THE BACK DOOR OF WINGS.

JACK: Okay.

 

THE VOICE BEGINS TO GIVE HIM INSTRUCTIONS.

 

JACK: Alright, alright, the blindfold is on, just as you wished.

 

HE TIES A BLINDFOLD OVER HIS EYES.

 

JACK: So you can give me the story in complete anonymity. But that's what I'm here for, let's remember, the story. The story of the century. Remember? So.... hello, come on, give it to me. Let me have it.

 

JENNIFER WALKS UP BEHIND HIM WEARING A SUIT AND A HAT. SHE RIPS OFF THE HAT, GRABS HIM, SPINS HIM ROUND AND KISSES HIM PASSIONATELY.

SCENE FIVE: IT TURNS OUT THAT JACK'S SECRET MEETING HAS ALL BEEN A PLOY SET UP BY JENNIFER. JENNIFER MOVES AWAY AND JACK TASTES HIS LIPS FOR A SECOND OR TWO.

 

JACK: Hmmm, Jennifer.

 

SHE HOLDS UP HER ELECTRONIC VOICE DISGUISER AND SPEAKS INTO IT.

 

JENNIFER: Who's Jennifer?

 

HE PULLS UP THE BLINDFOLD.

 

JACK: Jennifer?

JENNIFER: I did not say you could take off your blindfold....

 

SHE STARTS TO LAUGH.

HE TAKES THE VOICE DISGUISER FROM HER AND USES IT HIMSELF.

 

JACK: Is this how you created the voice on the phone?

 

SHE GRABS IT BACK.

 

JENNIFER: Yes it is. Is that clever or what?

 

HE TAKES IT BACK TO USE.

 

JACK: That's debatable.

 

SHE GRABS IT BACK FROM HIM AND PUTS IT AWAY.

 

JENNIFER: I didn't come here to get insulted. I came here to ravage you.

 

SHE GRABS HIM FOR ANOTHER PASSIONATE KISS.

 

JACK: You know you could ravage me at home in a bed of mooshoo but you came here instead. So tell me now, what's the story? What's the mystery?

JENNIFER: Well you've been surprising me a lot lately and when I was leaving this morning I looked at the date on the calendar and I thought, well. There isn't a better day that I could make a total fool out of myself.

JACK: Well I don't know about that. You could make a fool out of yourself anyday but what's so special about today?

JENNIFER: June 17th! Does that ring a bell?

JACK: If.... if it doesn't, am I in some kind of deep trouble?

JENNIFER: No. Remember last year we celebrated our anniversary early?

JACK: Yes, early. Yes. You were in New York, yes, yes.

JENNIFER: So really this is the official anniversary of our unofficial anniversary, if that makes any sense at all to you.

JACK: Well coming from you, I'd say it makes perfect sense. Absolutely perfect sense.

JENNIFER: Now look around. Maggie rented the place out to me for the night.

JACK: She rented it.

JENNIFER: Yes, and she helped me decorate.

SCENE SIX: JACK AND JENNIFER TAKES HIM INTO WING'S MAIN DINING AREA. THE WHOLE ROOM IS FILLED WITH LARGE COLOR POSTERS OF THEIR WEDDING DAY.

 

JACK: Hmmm.

JENNIFER: This is my favorite picture. Look at your face in this. You look very sweet Jack.

IT IS A POSED PICTURE OF THEM WITH HIM STANDING SLIGHTLY BEHIND HER WITH HIS ARMS AROUND HER WAIST.

 

JACK: Well I may have looked sweet but I certainly wasn't thinking sweet thoughts.

 

JENNIFER GIGGLES.

 

JACK: All I could think about was getting you away from your family and getting you off by yourself.

JENNIFER: I know. There were all these wonderful people giving us these gifts.

JACK: Toasters.

JENNIFER: And all I could think about was having you to myself. Just like tonight.

JACK: Huh, huh.

JENNIFER: Why don't you just wait right here, okay.

 

SHE LEAVES THE ROOM.

 

JACK: Wait.... where are you going?

 

SHE USES THE VOICE MACHINE TO ANSWER.

 

JENNIFER: I'll be back.

 

SHE LEAVES.

 

JACK: Good.

SCENE SEVEN: JENNIFER RETURNS IN PUSHING A THREE-TIER WEDDING CAKE ON A SMALL TABLE. SHE IS HUMMING HERE COMES THE BRIDE.

 

JACK: What happened to being ravaged?

 

JENNIFER KEEPS HUMMING.

 

JACK: That's a wedding cake, Jennifer.

JENNIFER: Yes, it's not exactly our real wedding cake because our real wedding cake bit the dust somewhere....

JACK: Bit the dust.

JENNIFER: But it's a replica.

JACK: I don't believe this.

JENNIFER: I know it's a big cake for two people but at least we have a really big freezer.

JACK: No, no that's not what I mean. I mean this.... this. All of this. I don't.... I don't believe you'd do all of this for me.

JENNIFER: Well this is only the beginning. There's a lot more surprises in store for you tonight.

JACK: Really?

JENNIFER: Yes, really. This is going to be a night that you're never going to forget.

 

SHE KISSES HIM AGAIN. HE MOVES OVER IN FRONT OF THE WEDDING PICTURE SHOWING THEM TAKING THEIR VOWS AND HE STANDS EXACTLY AS HE DID IN THE PICTURE. SHE LAUGHS.

 

JACK: You know if.... if I knew then what I know now?

JENNIFER: What, would that have made a difference?

JACK: Um, possibly. (Beat) I mean for me, there's some things I'd like to change about my life but when it comes to you, comes to us, no I wouldn't change a thing.

JENNIFER: Me neither.

JACK: So tell me, do you still feel the same way as you did that day?

JENNIFER: Yeah I do. That's why I brought you here because I want to prove that to you tonight.

 

SHE TAKES BOTH HIS HANDS IN HERS.

 

JENNIFER: I, Jennifer, take thee Jack to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward. For richer and for poorer. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.

JACK: I, Jack, take thee Jennifer to be my lawfully wedded wife.

JACK (CONT.)To have and to hold.... from this day forward. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.

 

THEY BOTH SMILE.

 

JENNIFER: Now I know that I don't have power vested in me but I think that you could probably kiss the bride now. JACK: Alright.

 

HE BENDS DOWN AND KISSES HER. THEY THEN SIT DOWN AT ONE OF THE TABLES AND SIP CHAMPAGNE.

 

JACK: So tell me, what's left to do on our real anniversary?

JENNIFER: I don't know. I haven't really thought about it yet.

JACK: It's going to be very hard to top this.

JENNIFER: And I'm not even finished yet. I mean you still have one really big surprise left.

JACK: Really?

JENNIFER: Yes, really. So, why don't you come with me. Would you like to take your champagne?

JACK: I certainly would.

 

SHE PULLS HIM OVER TO A STOOL.

 

JENNIFER: Take a seat right here. Right here and I'm going to go slip into something.... something.

JACK: Something.

 

SHE DISAPPEARS AND AS HE SIPS HIS CHAMPAGNE, THE LIGHTS GO OFF.

 

JACK: Hey, what happened to the lights? Look I'll just put the blindfold back on, if that's alright. Jennifer, what's going on?

 

JENNIFER CALLS OUT TO HIM.

 

JENNIFER: Jack, just wait.

SCENE EIGHT: THE LIGHTS COME BACK ON, ON THE STAGE AND THERE ARE TWO BLACK WOMEN STANDING THERE IN RED SEQUIN DRESSES. JENNIFER COMES ON STAGE WEARING A SIMILAR DRESS AND HOLDING A MICROPHONE.

 

JENNIFER: I'd like to dedicate this song to my magnificent, incredible husband.

 

JACK'S MOUTH IS OPEN AS HE SITS BACK DOWN ON THE CHAIR.

THE MUSIC BEGINS AND IT IS DIANA ROSS AND THE SUPREMES SINGING MY GUY . JENNIFER SWINGS HER HIPS AND SWAYS AS SHE SINGS KARIOKE TO THE SONG. JACK IS SURPRISED AND AMAZED. SHE COMES DOWN FROM THE STAGE AND SWAYS HER HIPS AT HIM AS SHE WALKS AROUND HIM. HE THEN TAKES THE MICROPHONE AND SINGS THE LAST LINE KARIOKE STYLE TO HER.

SINGERS: "There's not a man today who could take me away from my guy."

JENNIFER: My guy.

 

SHE MOVES CLOSE TO HIM AND THEY BEGIN TO KISS AS THE TWO OTHER SINGERS SMILE AND LEAVE.