SCENE ONE: IT IS THE NEXT MORNING AT THE CABIN. JENNIFER IS ASLEEP WITH A BLANKET HALF OVER HER. JACK COMES OUT OF THE SHOWER WITH ONLY A TOWEL WRAPPED AROUND HIS WAIST.
HE LOOKS AT HER FOR A FEW MINUTES THEN PICKS UP HER VEIL. SMILING HE WALKS OVER AND PULLS THE BLANKET UP OVER HER. HE BRUSHES HIS FINGER AGAINST THE SIDE OF HER FACE, TOUCHING HER HAIR. AS HE DOES SO, SHE STIRS AND WHISPERS HIS NAME.
HE SUDDENLY GETS SCARED AGAIN AS SHE ROLES OVER, TRAPPING HIS HAND.
HE SLOWLY MOVES HIS HAND AWAY BUT SHE FEELS IT.
JENNIFER: What are you doing?
JACK: (Embarrassed) Ah....nothing, nothing at all.
JENNIFER: It didn't look like nothing.
JACK: Ah....well....ah....I was just....just, ah, pulling your blanket back on. It fell off the bed. (Beat) Ah, it sure got late this morning, didn't it? Ah it must be the mountain air. It makes you sleep late.
JENNIFER: Yeah it must be Jack.
SHE JUMPS OUT OF BED, FRUSTRATED WITH HIM. SHE SNATCHES AWAY THE ROBE FROM HIM AND PUTS IT ON.
JACK: Ah, what are you doing? Where....where are you going?
JENNIFER: I'm getting out of here.
JACK: Ah....you can't!
JENNIFER: Watch me Jack!
JACK: I mean you can't. It's not safe out there because of the....the bears. The killer bears. You remember.
JENNIFER: Where's the radio Jack?
JACK: The radio is....ah.....
JENNIFER: There it is Jack.
SHE RUNS TO GRAB IT JUST AS HIS HAND REACHES IT TOO.
JACK: It's ah....Jennifer, it's....
THEY PAUSE AND LOOK AT THEIR INTERLOCKED HANDS.
JENNIFER: What's wrong with you Jack?
JACK: Ah....it's mine.
JENNIFER: So what?JACK: So....er....it's sensitive. And....and I don't want you to break it. And...I'm the only one who knows how to handle it.JACK IS HOLDING IT TIGHTLY TO HIS CHEST. IT IS ALMOST AS IF HE IS METAPHORICALLY TALKING ABOUT HIS HEART.
JENNIFER: Alright Jack, what are you trying hide now? (Beat) Alright, what is it Jack? What are you hiding now?
JACK: (Hugging the radio) Ah, while you were sleeping (Pretending to be all chocked up.) I heard some more news on the bears.
JENNIFER: Yeah, so?
JACK: So....so it was awful.
JENNIFER: Come on Jack.
JACK: No, no really, really. It was too disgusting. I was trying to spare you.
JENNIFER: Jack I'm a reporter. I've heard disgusting stories. Just tell me what it is.
JACK: Um....those bears....
JACK: They....they ate a person. Actually two people!
JENNIFER: (Believing him.) What!
JACK: Now I mean it wasn't like they killed them, put them on a sandwich and spread them out, but these two big grizzly bears, (Really milking it.) they broke into this trailer park and they busted into an Airstream and they go this old couple. Sid and Ada.
JENNIFER: Jack are you serious?
JACK: I swear to you. Look those bears are still at large. Even larger now.
JENNIFER: So, so you're telling me that we're trapped in here Jack.
JACK: Ah....yeah, yeah, that, that's about the size of it.
JENNIFER: Alright, so what are we supposed to do?
JACK: Well, we could get dressed and eat.
JENNIFER: I want to go home Jack.
JACK: Wait a minute, you think I don't? I Well you're wrong, I do. The fact is, we're trapped here and there's nothing we can do about it. We might as well make the best of things.
JENNIFER: Does the shower have any hot water?
JACK: Now that's a question! Of course the shower's got hot water. I'm a classy guy.
JENNIFER: That's not the word I think of when I describe you Jack.
JACK WATCHES HER AS SHE GOES INTO THE BATHROOM.
JACK: Be careful not to sing too loud in there. There's a family of skunks living under this place.
JACK: Modern technology.
JACK HEARS HER TURN ON THE SHOWER SO HE OPENS THE BACK OF THE RADIO AND REMOVES A SMALL TAPE RECORDER WITH THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE BEAR ATTACK. HE GRINS.
SCENE TWO MEANWHILE EMILIO IS SUSPICIOUS OF JENNIFER'S NOTE AND HE EXAMINES IT. HE REALIZES THAT IT IS A FORGERY. BACK AT THE CHURCH, HE AND MELISSA MEET THE HANDYMAN WHO IS FIXING THE DOOR THAT EMILIO BROKE DOWN. HE TELLS THEM THAT HE SAW A FIRE TRUCK OUT THE BACK. EMILIO THEN REALIZES THAT JACK IS DEFINITELY INVOLVED.
SCENE THREE: BACK AT THE CABIN, JACK CHECKS THAT JENNIFER IS IN THE SHOWER AND THEN DECIDES TO RECORD A NEW BEAR MESSAGE. HE PICKS UP THE RECORDER AND USING A CARTOON VOICE WITH A HEAVY DRAWL OF LEGHORN FOGHORN, HE BEGINS.
JACK AS ANNOUNCER: And now for an update on those wild marauding grizzly bears. The US Forestry Service has urged and warned all campers in the Saddleback Mountain area to stay inside their doors. Two deaths, (Even stuttering like Leghorn Foghorn.) I say, I say, two deaths, have been attributed to these dangerous ursine characters. To repeat, all campers in the Saddleback Mountain area should stay inside their doors. Two deaths....
JACK HAS NOT NOTICED THAT JENNIFER HAS ENTERED THE ROOM. SHE INTERRUPTS HIS FAKE REPORT
JENNIFER HAS FINISHED HER SHOWER AND COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM WRAPPED IN A TOWEL.
JACK: Ah....what! What's wrong with you?
JENNIFER: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you Jack? You lied to me. You're a fake. This whole thing is a fake Jack.
JACK: Look, I can explain.
JENNIFER: You have really done some cheap, deceitful things Jack....
JACK: "Cheap?" Do you know how much this thing cost?
JENNIFER: ....in your life Jack but this is the absolute worst Jack.
JACK: Look Jennifer, I can explain this. Wait....Jennifer, JENNIFER COME BACK HERE.
SHE RUNS OUT THE DOOR STILL WRAPPED ONLY IN A TOWEL. JACK PULLS ON HIS SHOES AND CHASES HER. HE IS DRESSED ONLY IN A TOWEL AS WELL.
JACK: Doggone it, Jennifer!
SCENE FOUR: SHE RUNS DOWN A MOUNTAIN TRACK WITH HIM AFTER HER.
JENNIFER: JACK, NO, NO!
JENNIFER: NO, NO!
SHE STARTS TO THROW PINE CONES AT HIM.
JACK: DON'T DO THIS TO ME. HEY, WILL YOU JUST CUT IT OUT?
SHE RUNS AWAY FROM HIM AGAIN AND HE FOLLOWS.
JACK: COME HERE!
SHE RUNS A LITTLE WAY FURTHER AND FINDS A SPEAKER WIRED UP TO A TAPE RECORDER.
JENNIFER: Whoa, what is this?
SHE PRESSES THE RECORDER AND HEARS THE BEAR GROWLING.
JENNIFER: I can't believe everything he's done. I am such an idiot.
JACK: JENNIFER! I....ah....I....ah....never mind.
JENNIFER: A bear? A bear, Jack?
JACK: I can explain.
JENNIFER: You don't have to explain. You see I have it all figured out. You put Yogi on tape, turned up the decibels and scared me half to death. How could you do this to me Jack?
JACK: I had to!
JENNIFER: Oh right!
JACK: You were making a big mistake!
JENNIFER: The only mistake I made was ever trusting you.
JACK: Look I knew I had to get you away from Salem and get away from Emilio to realize this wedding was a big mistake. I think you just needed to clear your head a little.
JENNIFER: I think the only head that needs clearing here is yours, Jack.
SHE PUNCHES HIM IN THE STOMACH.
JACK IS DOUBLED OVER IN FAKE PAIN. JENNIFER IS ENJOYING THIS.
JENNIFER: Jack, are you hurt?
SHE SCREAMS AND RUNS AWAY FROM HIM BUT JUST AS SHE PASSES, HE MAKES A GRAB AND MANAGES TO PULL THE TOWEL OFF HER.
JACK: Well what have we here?
JENNIFER, NOW STARK NAKED, HIDES BEHIND A BIG TREE. JACK IS HAVING A BALL. AND JENNIFER IS ENJOYING IT TOO, DESPITE IT ALL.
JACK: Oh JENNIFER! JENNIFER HORTON! Hello Jennifer! Hey have any of you ducks out there seen a girl named Jennifer? Ah she's dressed in a....oh, well she's not dressed in anything. Kind of au naturale which I say is rather fitting for the au naturale environment.
JENNIFER: (From behind a tree.) Jack, Jack, give me the towel.
JACK: Heheheh! Kind of an interesting situation I've got here.
JACK: You know a fellow doesn't find himself in this sort of situation every day.
JENNIFER: Oh ouch!
JACK: In fact I'd say it's a rather prickly situation!
JENNIFER: I hate you, Jack Deveraux!
JACK: No you don't.
JENNIFER: Yes I do.
JACK: No you don't.
JENNIFER: I hate what you're doing to me.
JACK: Well I must admit that it is rather unfair.
JENNIFER: Good, then give me the towel.
JACK: I didn't say I was changing my mind.
JENNIFER: Please Jack?
JACK: Not until we make a deal.
JENNIFER: A deal?
JACK: Yes. I want to go back to the cabin where we'll discuss this whole thing rationally.
JENNIFER: Forget it!
JACK: Jennifer, I'm doing this whole thing for your benefit. I've got to make you understand that marrying Emilio would be a colossal mistake.
JENNIFER: I don't care what you think Jack.
JACK: Because you know that I'm right.
JENNIFER: No, because you have no right telling me what to do with my life. I will never give in to you Jack. As a matter of fact, I never even want to see you again.
JACK: (Looking at the towel, with a mischievous grin.) Are you sure about that?
JACK: Well, nice knowing you.
JENNIFER: JACK, WAIT!
JACK: Excuse me, did you say something?
JACK: Oh well, I've got to be getting in. Kind of nippy. Hope you don't mind the cold?
JENNIFER: Alright Jack, JACK!
JENNIFER: Alright Jack. I give up.
JACK: I'm sorry. I didn't quite hear that.
JENNIFER: I said, I give up. I will do whatever you want me to do.Just give me the towel.
JACK: Certainly. I knew you were a sensible girl.
HE HANDS HER THE TOWEL AROUND THE TREE. SHE GRABS IT AND HE TURNS HIS BACK. SHE IMMEDIATELY WHIPS HIM WITH IT, STINGING HIS SIDE. HE GRINS AND ENJOYS THE TEASING. SHE THEN TIES IT AROUND HERSELF AND KNOTS IT TIGHTLY.
JACK: Hey, what's taking so long? It's just a towel.
JENNIFER: I'm going to make sure it doesn't fall off this time.
JACK: Well at that rate it's never going to come off.
JENNIFER: Don't you come five feet near me Jack.
JACK: Certainly. Just remember the deal was "rational."
JENNIFER: There's nothing rational about this.
JACK: Okay, let's just walk back to the cabin and discuss this whole thing rationally.
JENNIFER: In your dreams Jack!
SHE RUNS OFF DOWN THE HILL. IT IS MORE TEASINGLY THAN ACTUALLY RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM. THEY BOTH ARE ENJOYING EACH OTHER'S TEASING.
JACK: JENNIFER! (Mock disgust) OH!
SHE CONTINUES TO RUN ALONG A DRY CREEK BED WITH HIM AFTER HER.
JACK: It's not fair. You tricked me!
JENNIFER: Then we're even Jack.
SHE RUNS UP A HILL AND BEGINS DOWN THE OTHER SIDE NOT WATCHING WHERE SHE IS GOING.
JACK: Oh you can't keep running like this.
JENNIFER: I can keep running.
JACK: You're going to get lost miles from civilization.
JENNIFER: I'm going to run as long as I like and you're not going to stop me.
JACK: Listen to me.
JENNIFER: No, I don't want to listen to you! Leave me alone!
SHE IS RUNNING TOWARDS THE EDGE OF A CLIFF, BUT IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHERE SHE IS GOING.
JACK: JENNIFER LOOK OUT!
JENNIFER DISAPPEARS FROM SIGHT.
JACK: Oh my god!
SCENE FIVE: JENNIFER HAS SLID DOWN AN EMBANKMENT AND IS LYING ON A LEDGE HALFWAY DOWN A CLIFF FACE. JACK LEANS OVER AND SEES HER UNCONSCIOUS. JACK IS WORRIED, AND CAN NO LONGER HIDE HIS TRUE FEELINGS.
JACK: Oh Jennifer, dammit. DAMMIT! Why did you run away from me, huh? I just wanted to talk to you. I just wanted to talk. I wasn't going to hurt you. I never.... Jennifer, Jennifer I need you. You listen, you've got to be okay. You're going to be okay, okay. I need you.... Jennifer.... Jennifer.... Jennifer!
ON THE LEDGE, JENNIFER IS NOT REALLY UNCONSCIOUS BUT IS LYING COMPLETELY STILL AND LISTENING TO JACK'S WORDS. SHE BEGINS TO SMILE. SHE LETS JACK CONTINUE TO BELIEVE THAT SHE IS SERIOUSLY HURT.