oldEpisode One-hundred-forty-three:
Two Thugs Beat Jack up, Looking for
the Missing Pages to Loretta's Diary.

SCENE ONE: EMILIO HAS BEEN DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL AND JENNIFER HAS BROUGHT HIM HOME TO APRIL'S APARTMENT. AS THEY ARRIVE, THE DOOR OF THE APARTMENT OPENS AND EVERYBODY YELLS SURPRISE. THERE IS A PARTY FOR EMILIO.

SCENE TWO: VERN WALKS INTO JACK'S OFFICE, CARRYING A SUIT, SHIRT, SHOES AND OTHER CLOTHING. JACK IS READING SOME PAPERS.

 

VERN: I just want you to know I'm really thrilled about this fascinating new aspect of my job.

JACK: Vern, stop kvetching! I just....I just asked you to get my dry cleaning.

VERN: Well this might come as a shock to you Jack but there's a lot of bosses out there who use secretaries to run these stupid petty little chores for them.

JACK: Vern, I ask you to run the stupid petty little chores because I trust you. Because I trust that you'll keep your mouth shut.

VERN: There's some secret about your alterations?

JACK: I didn't say that. Did not say that. Don't misquote me.

VERN: Now what is this all about Jack? Don't tell me, if it's anything like that fire engine and that damn smoke machine, I don't want to know anything about it. Not now, I don't want to ever know anything about it.

JACK: Good!

 

VERN STORMS OUT OF THE OFFICE AND JACK PICKS UP THE ALTERED PANTS AND LOOKS AT THE SECRET INSIDE POCKET HE HAD PUT IN. HE IS ABOUT TO PUT THE PAGES IN THE ALTERED PANTS WHEN THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

 

JACK: Vern, do you....

ADRIENNE: It's Adrienne.

JACK: Adrienne! Ah.....ah just a minute, come in, come in.

 

HE PUTS THE PAGES BACK IN THE COAT HE IS WEARING.

 

ADRIENNE: Good morning.

JACK: Good morning, morning. Ah....I guess maybe we had an appointment that I forgot about.

ADRIENNE: No, no, I just couldn't wait to tell you. I have wonderful news!

JACK: Yeah?

ADRIENNE: Justin and I are getting married!

JACK: Oh really, oh really. That's great. I'm very happy for you.

ADRIENNE: So am I and I want this wedding to be perfect. Not just for me but for all the Johnsons. I want you to be in the wedding Jack. I want you to walk me down the aisle.

 

JACK IS SURPRISED AND PLEASED.

 

JACK: You want me to walk you down the aisle?

ADRIENNE: Yes.

JACK: Well what about Steve?

ADRIENNE: Jack, Steve is so busy trying to find Stephanie that I don't want to bother him with my plans until he finds her.

JACK: Well...are....are you sure about this?

ADRIENNE: I positive.

JACK: But what....what about....

ADRIENNE: Jack I can't think of anything that would make me happier than to have you walk me down the aisle.

JACK: Well....you know, I won't argue with that. Sure, yeah, sure.

 

ADRIENNE GETS VERY EXCITED AND GIVES JACK A HUGE HUG. JACK IS SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED, BUT MOVED BY HER AFFECTION. ADRIENNE IS OVERJOYED, JACK *FINALLY* IS BECOMING PART OF THE FAMILY.

 

ADRIENNE: Thank you! Oooooh you are so sweet and so caring, I don't know why the rest of the world doesn't see it.

JACK: Well you know, I guess they have a little trouble overlooking the little things, you know, like the way I put the kiabosh on Jennifer's wedding.

ADRIENNE: Oh yes I heard about that.

JACK: Yeah. It's not like....I'm not apologizing, I'm not sorry that I did it. I'm feel kind of bad about what happened afterwards.

ADRIENNE: Emilio's accident.

JACK: (Ashamed) Yeah, yeah.

ADRIENNE: If you feel so bad why don't you do something nice for Emilio?

JACK: Well I did, I....(Stopping before admitting something.) um.....

ADRIENNE: You what?

JACK: Forget it! Forget it!

ADRIENNE: No Jack, tell me. I'm not going to leave you alone until you do, so you might as well just do it.

JACK: Alright, I....I found out he was getting out of the hospital today and I just....you know....I helped pull together this little get-together. As a matter of fact, right about now they should be getting together and toasting his recovery.

ADRIENNE: Wait a minute. I don't understand something. Why aren't you there with them celebrating?

JACK: Ah, well I didn't really think it would be necessary.

ADRIENNE: Jack if you want to apologize to Emilio you have to do it face to face.

JACK: Ah....well I'll get around to that one of these days.

ADRIENNE: Don't put it off. If you do, you will never do it. I tell you what, I'll go with you for moral support.

JACK: I don't think it's a good idea.

ADRIENNE: Jack, is the alternative any better?

JACK: Well it's not better but it's safer. (Beat) You know, you're right, I'm going to do it.

ADRIENNE: Good.

JACK: I'm going to do it.

ADRIENNE: Good.

JACK: I tell you what. I....I just want to change into something a little more festive first.

ADRIENNE: Sure, okay.

JACK: Sure. Great! I'll be right out.

 

JACK GOES TO THE BATHROOM AND PUTS THE PAGES INTO THE SECRET POCKET IN HIS ALTERED PANTS.

SCENE THREE: MEANWHILE AT THE PARTY, EVERYBODY IS WONDERING WHO ORGANIZED IT. JENNIFER IS PARTICULARLY INTERESTED. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR AND JENNIFER ANSWERS IT. JACK IS STANDING THERE, SHEEPISHLY, WITH ADRIENNE.

 

JENNIFER: Jack what are you doing here? Look Emilio just got home. Don't ruin it, okay.

ADRIENNE: Jack's not here to ruin anything Jennifer, honest.

 

EMILIO SUDDENLY NOTICES THAT JENNIFER IS TALKING TO JACK.

 

EMILIO: Excuse me, could I have everyone's attention please? I just want everybody to know that I really appreciate everybody coming and being her for me. (To Jennifer) Come here for a minute will you?

 

SHE WALKS OVER AND HE PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER. JACK LOOKS IN HER EYES.

 

EMILIO: And there's one thing I still can't figure out. That is who threw this shindig on?

 

EVERYBODY AT THE PARTY STARTS TO SPECULATE AND ADRIENNE ELBOWS JACK.

 

ADRIENNE: Say something.

JACK: What?

EMILIO: You got a problem Deveraux?

JACK: Problem? Me? No I don't have a problem. I thought maybe....maybe I'd help you with your problem.

EMILIO: What are you talking about?

ADRIENNE: Jack, say it.

JACK: You know, the problem about....this shindig! Ah, I know who threw it on.

 

HE PUTS A LARGE BLACK SOMBRERO ON HIS HEAD.

JACK: I did!

 

JENNIFER IS IN SHOCK, BUT PROUD.

 

JENNIFER: HUH! What did you just say?

ADRIENNE: Say it again Jack.

JACK: I'm responsible for this. Fiestas'R'Us!

JENNIFER: You?

JACK: Yes, me.

EMILIO: Why Deveraux? You know, what are you trying to prove here?

ADRIENNE: (Pushing Jack) Jack talk to him.

JACK: I'm working up to that.

ADRIENNE: Well work faster.

JACK: I'll tell you one thing, nagging does not help.

ADRIENNE: Jack, you're right, fine, so I'll just confine myself to pushing.

 

SHE PUSHES HIM IN FRONT OF EMILIO.

 

JACK: Okay, this is what I want to say. I think maybe you and I ought to talk....outside.

EMILIO: Why?

JACK: You're going to make me say it, aren't you? Please!

EMILIO: Alright, alright. But just a couple of minutes okay because look I don't have time.

 

THE WALK OUT TO THE HALLWAY AND SHUT THE DOOR.

SCENE FOUR: OUTSIDE THE RAMIREZ' APARTMENT.

 

JACK: Alright, I just want to say that everything, you know, everything went a little too far on the cliff.

EMILIO: Yeah, yeah and I bet you lost a whole lot of sleep over it, didn't you?

JACK: No, no, I'm saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about what happened on the ledge and I appreciate you pulling Jennifer off and me too.

EMILIO: Look as far as I'm concerned it's over, okay so why don't you get the hell out of here and be a good boy.

JACK: Sure, whatever you want.

EMILIO: What I want, you do is just leave. So Jen and I get married and you can't screw things up for us.

JACK: You got nothing to worry about.

EMILIO: Good, I'm glad you realize that.

JACK: Realize what?

EMILIO: That Jen and I belong together, right.

JACK: Oh no, no, no, no. That's not what I said at all.

EMILIO: Then what's this apology crap?

JACK: No, listen, I'm apologizing about the ledge. But listen, listen, if Jennifer gets married to you it's going to be the biggest mistake of her life.

EMILIO: Shut up! I don't believe you Deveraux.

JACK: No, no, no, listen, if you love her, if you really love her, you'll break it off with her right away.

EMILIO: The only thing I want to do is break you in half. Now why don't you get out of here.

JACK: You know this is the thing to do. You could do this.

EMILIO: Next time you're climbing up a ledge, I'm going to put my foot in your face and drive you down.

JACK: You can talk her into it. Look I'll help you write it....

EMILIO: You don't know how to write nothing....

 

AS THEY ARE BOTH ARGUING, JENNIFER COMES OUTSIDE.

 

JENNIFER: Emilio.

EMILIO: Yeah, what are you doing out here?

JENNIFER: There's a call for you.

EMILIO: Can you take a message?

JENNIFER: It's your dad. He's calling long distance from Julio's dorm.

EMILIO: (To Jack) I got to take that call but when I come back, do me a favor. Don't be here!

 

EMILIO GOES INSIDE AND JENNIFER STAYS TO TALK TO JACK.

 

JACK: I think I better check my hub caps.

JENNIFER: OH NO JACK! I have something to say and you are not going anywhere until you hear it.

 

JACK LOOKS AT HER KNOWING VERY WELL THAT HE CANNOT ESCAPE AND PROBABLY DOES NOT WANT TO DO SO.

 

JENNIFER: How can you come here and upset Emilio on his first day home, Jack?

JACK: Well not that it was any of your business but I was telling him I was sorry he fell off the cliff. That's all.

JENNIFER: No you weren't Jack. It's just an excuse.

JACK: I don't know what you're talking about.

JENNIFER: Yes you do. You were trying to stop this wedding again but it's not going to work this time because I am going to marry Emilio and there is nothing that you can say or do to change my mind. Do you hear me Jack?

JACK: Yeah I hear you. I hear you.

 

ADRIENNE COMES OUTSIDE.

 

ADRIENNE: Is everything okay out here?

MELISSA: Yeah we thought there might be a little tension.

JACK: Or bloodshed.

ADRIENNE: What?

JACK: Nothing, nothing. Look I have to go if you're leaving now.

ADRIENNE: Sure, if you want me to.

JACK: Yeah, it's up to you.

 

HE STARES HARD AT JENNIFER THEN STORMS OFF WITH ADRIENNE AFTER HIM.

 

ADRIENNE: Look I have to go after him, Jennifer. Tell Emilio I hope he feels better, okay.

 

MELISSA AND JENNIFER ARE LEFT ALONE.

 

MELISSA: Are you okay?

JENNIFER: Yeah, let's just go back to the party.

SCENE FIVE: JENNIFER GOES BACK INSIDE. EMILIO TELLS HER THAT HE THINKS THINGS WILL WORK OUT WELL NOW THAT JACK IS OUT OF THE PICTURE. JENNIFER LEAVES TO GO BACK TO WORK. HE TELLS MELISSA HOW HAPPY HE IS THAT JENNIFER IS READY TO GET MARRIED.

SCENE SIX: JACK AND ADRIENNE HAVE GONE DOWN TO THE STREET AND ARE TALKING.

 

ADRIENNE: Look Jack, I know that things didn't work out the way we wanted but I'm glad you went to the party anyway.

JACK: Well that makes one of us.

ADRIENNE: Jack you shouldn't regret making an effort with Emilio. You tried to do the right thing. That's what counts.

JACK: Well last time I tried to do the right thing, it was when I tried to bust up Jennifer's wedding. Look what happened there.

ADRIENNE: Well maybe you should be a little more honest about your motives.

JACK: (Knowing full well what she means.) What's that supposed to mean?

ADRIENNE: Well did you break up the wedding because you thought Emilio wasn't right for Jennifer....or....did you want her for yourself?

JACK: What....I want....I want....it doesn't matter what I want....cause at this point Miss Horton and I are not on a working, speaking or any other kind of relationship.

ADRIENNE: I wouldn't be so sure. It's hard for one to fall out of love you know.

JACK: This has nothing to do with love.

ADRIENNE: Oh Jack, please. (She affectionately rubs his cheek.) What are we going to do with you?

JACK: Well I don't know what we're going to do but I'm going to go that way.

ADRIENNE: And I'm headed that way. Come here. Goodbye....for now.

 

SHE GIVES HIM A BIG HUG.

 

JACK: Yeah.

ADRIENNE: Jack, you take care of yourself. Don't give up on Jennifer because I didn't give up on Justin and look where I am now, huh. You think about that. Bye.

 

ADRIENNE WALKS OFF AND JUST AS JACK IS ABOUT TO WALK AWAY, HE IS GRABBED FROM BEHIND BY A THUG.

JACK: HEY! Hey, hey, hey, hey, what's going on?

THUG: Shut up!

 

A SECOND GUY COMES ALONG.

 

JACK: What do you mean shut up?

 

THE SECOND GUY PUNCHES JACK IN THE STOMACH WHILE THE FIRST GUY HOLDS HIM.

 

THUG: We want those papers you borrowed from the Toscano family. Hand them over or he's going to get very angry.

 

THEY GUY PUNCHES JACK AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IN THE FACE.

 

JACK: Don't tell me, he's angry.

THUG: Oh no, no, no. He's just a little testy. He'll stop me before he gets to anger, trust me.

 

THEY PUNCH JACK AGAIN.

 

THUG: Give us those pages!

JACK: I told you I don't know anything about any pages.

 

THEY PUNCH JACK AGAIN IN THE STOMACH AND HE IS NOW IN GREAT PAIN.

 

THUG: Don't lie to us Jack. He hates that.

JACK: I know. It makes him angry.

 

THE GUY HOLDING JACK PUSHES HIM OVER TO THE SECOND GUY.

 

JACK: Oh, getting tired now, huh!

 

HE PUNCHES JACK AGAIN AND THEN GRABS HIM BY THE TIE.

 

THUG: Last chance! Tell us where the papers are and all's forgiven.

JACK: I tell you, I don't know anything about any pages.

 

THEY SWING JACK AROUND TO PUNCH HIM AGAIN.

 

JACK: Oh, nice to see a familiar fist!

 

THEY PUNCH JACK AGAIN AND HE FALLS TO THE GROUND JUST AS JENNIFER COMES DOWNSTAIRS. SHE SCREAMS AND THE THUGS RUN OFF. SHE BENDS DOWN AND CRADLES ACK IN HER ARMS.

 

JENNIFER: JACK!

JACK: I got em both.

JENNIFER: Jack!

JACK: They're lucky. I would have taken them both. Both of them. Both....of them....