oldEpisode One-hundred-sixty-two:
The Cruise of Deception Part IX:
"Me Tarzan, You Jane": Jack Dreams
That He Is Tarzan and Jennifer is Jane;
Jack Continues to Lovingly Care for Jennifer.

[Air date 6-28-90]

 

SCENE ONE: JENNIFER IS DRESSED AS JANE AND IS HANGING OUT LAUNDRY ON A VINE, SHE IS ON A BRANCH OF A TREE, IN A JUNGLE TREEHOUSE. SHE HEARS THE CALL OF TARZAN AS HE RETURNS HOME. JACK COMES SWINGING ACROSS THE SET HANGING ONTO A VINE. HE IS WEARING A LEOPARD PRINT SKIN CLOTH WRAPPED AROUND HIM WITH LONG HAIR; AND BANANAS ON A STRING AROUND HIS WAIST.

 

JENNIFER: (Excited to see him) Jack! Come on!

JACK: The vine Jane, the vine! The vine!

 

JACK SWINGS INTO THE CAMP AND JENNIFER GRABS THE VINE. JACK IS SPEAKING IN A TARZANESQUE VOICE, MONOTONE, AND SOUNDING RATHER DUMB.

 

JENNIFER: Oh okay, right. I'm so glad you're home. I was worried. You're late.

JACK: It's a jungle out there Jane. I got caught in heavy traffic, waiting on line for vine. But now I'm home with Queen of Jungle. (Making another one of his double entendre jokes.) Look I'm happy to see you. I come bearing provisions for dinner.

 

HE HANDS HER SOME BANANAS AND A BUNCH OF LIMP FLOWERS.
oldEp162A

JENNIFER:
Oh Jack, this is great. What's the occasion?

JACK: No need for occasion.

JENNIFER: I'm so lucky I've got a man like you. You're considerate, you're handsome and you're a good forager.

JACK: No Tarzan lucky to have woman like you who can turn jungle into habitat.

JENNIFER: Well you know I do the best I can Jack.

JACK: Oh bark shoes!

JENNIFER: Yeah I just made those for you.

JACK: Ah, go perfect with Bark-o-lounger.

JENNIFER: Well see why don't you sit down and relax and try those on and I'll start dinner, okay.

JACK: Oh wait woman! Tarzan tired from running around jungle all day with cheetah. Tarzan have other ideas.

 

HE BEGINS TO MAKE CHIMP NOISES AND ACTIONS.

 

JENNIFER: Ah I love it when you monkey around Jack.

 

HE GRABS HER AND KISSES HER. HE MAKES A SEXY GROWL, RAISING HIS UPPER LIP. HE GRABS THE VINE AND SLIDES HIS HAND DOWN IT AS THEY SLIDE TO THE GROUND AND OUT OF SIGHT.

 

JACK: The vine Jane, the vine!

 

THE SCENE FADES TO JACK ASLEEP ON THE FLOOR OF THE CAVE. HE IS BANGING HIS CHEST WITH HIS FISTS AND MAKING A FEINT TARZAN CALL.

 

JACK: The vine Jane, the vine! The vine Jane, the vine!

 

JENNIFER HEARS HIM AND SHAKES HIS LEG TO WAKE HIM UP.

 

JENNIFER: Jack!

JACK: Aaaaah....aaaah....wha....what's going on, what, what, what?

JENNIFER: That's what I'd like to know. What in the world were you dreaming about? Do you mind telling me what you were moaning and groaning about?

SCENE TWO: JACK AND JENNIFER ARE STILL IN THE CAVE. KNOWING THAT JACK WAS HAVING A DREAM ABOUT THEM JENNIFER TEASE JACK; SHE ALSO STILL SOUNDS AND LOOKS VERY WEAK AND SICK. JACK DOES NOT WANT TO ADMIT SHE IS RIGHT.

 

JACK: I think you're hallucinating. I was fast asleep.

JENNIFER: No, no, you were doing this. (She bangs her chest) And moaning like Tarzan.

JACK: Right, right.

JENNIFER: You weren't dreaming that you were Tarzan were you Jack?

JACK: Me Tarzan? No Jane....Jane....Jane....Janiffer....Jane, no, no, no.

JENNIFER: I see, I see. So what was it like? Were you swinging from trees? Did you meet any chimpanzees?

JACK: You're supposed to be sick, remember.

JENNIFER: Was I there, oh great white hunter?

JACK: Yeah! (Beat. Flustered) No! No! Look I can tell from the grief you're giving me, you must be getting better. At least feeling better.

JENNIFER: Yeah, I feel a little better. Now what about the dream? What were we wearing, skimpy loin clothes Jack?

JACK: You know if you ask me, you're still looking kind of bad. You really are.

JENNIFER: I don't remember asking.

JACK: Well, I'm checking. Let me take a look at that forehead.

 

HE PLACES HIS HAND ON HER FOREHEAD.

 

JACK: Yeah, yeah, I still feel quite a temperature.

JENNIFER: Oh come on Jack, who do you think you are, Doctor Schweitzer. I have a little fever that's all.

JACK: I'm going to check your leg out, okay. Let me check your leg out.

JENNIFER: Alright, then I want to hear all about the dream, okay.

 

JACK LIFTS HER LEG SLIGHTLY. HER PANTS ARE TORN AND THE WOUND IS COVERED WITH A LARGE TROPICAL LEAF. HE LIFTS THE LEAF AND THE INFECTION CAN BE SEEN SPREADING DOWN HER LEG. THIS WORRIES JACK AND MAKES HIM DISTRACTED.

 

JACK: No dream.

JENNIFER: Come on I know there was a dream. You were pou....what, what is it? What's wrong?

JACK: The....ah....infection's got worse. Your leg's a lot worse.

 

JENNIFER TRIES TO ACT LIKE IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL BUT JACK IS VERY WORRIED.

 

JACK: Well what can we do?

JACK: Well I suppose we could call a doctor but I don't think they make cave calls. So....ah....I guess we're just going to have to rely on some good old fashioned folk remedies.

JENNIFER: Sure, sure, no problem. Do you know what any of those remedies are?

JACK: Oh sure, yeah. I know a lot of them, sure.

JENNIFER: You're not going to let anything happen to me, are you Jack?

JACK: No, no, I mean who would you have to argue with.

 

HE TAKES HER HAND IN HIS AND HOLDS IT GENTLY.

 

JACK: I'm not going to let anything happen. I'm going to do something right now, okay.

JENNIFER: Okay.

SCENE THREE: MEANWHILE THE OTHERS HAVE FOUND BO AND TOLD HIM THAT ISABELLA IS HIS SISTER.

SCENE FOUR: A SHORT TIME LATER HE RETURNS TO THE CAVE CARRYING A SELECTION OF LEAVES, FLOWERS AND STICKS. JENNIFER HAS AN OBVIOUS FEVER AND LOOKS VERY SICK.

 

JACK: My bark is worse than my bite. How are you holding up?

JENNIFER: Oh I guess I've had better days.

JACK: Yeah, well you've certainly had feistier days. And you're going to have them again, as soon as we get that fever down.

JENNIFER: Jack, look, if anything happens to me....

JACK: Hey, hey, hey. Come on now, you're acting like a reporter again. You know you guys are all the same, you get a couple of days off, nothing to do and you start thinking the worst.

JENNIFER: Would you think I was a big baby if I told you I was scared?

JACK: I probably would.

JENNIFER: You're going to have to work on that bedside manner of yours Jack.

JACK: Doctor Marcus Welby I'm not. Now stop talking to me. I have to scrunch this stuff together and get it all ground up.

JENNIFER: I hope you're not expecting me eat that stuff Jack?

JACK: I'm not going to ask you to smoke it! Hahahah. No really, I've got it on good authority....I mean Bo knows....I just have to get this stuff all this pressed up like a poultice and put it on the infection and it draws it out.

JENNIFER: (Making a face) That's my medicine?

JACK: Look if it doesn't work, the pharmacy is right down the street. I'll just run down there and get something that does work. But it is going to work. It is going to work, believe me. And you are not going to be laid up for the rest of your vacation.

JENNIFER: Yeah, I can't wait to get back up on my feet.

JACK: Yeah. And be in trouble again in no time, no doubt.

JENNIFER: Why do you make it sound like that's all I ever do?

JACK: Heheheh. Think about it! Jennifer I just want you to know that at this moment, (Trying to reassure her) Bo and Roman are working on a raft that's going to get us out of here. In no time at all you'll be back in Salem doing the same old same old.

JENNIFER: (Laughing) Oh, there's goes our chance to play Tarzan and Jane in real life, huh.

JACK: Well if you ask me I'd rather sit home and watch old Buster Crabbe reruns.

JENNIFER: Oh come on Jack. Where's that Deveraux sense of adventure?

JACK: It's back in Salem where it should be. I'm telling you, the sooner we get off Gilligan's Island the better.

JENNIFER: My sentiments exactly.

SCENE FIVE: MEANWHILE CARLY HAS DECIDED TO RETURN TO SALEM WITH JUSTIN AND ADRIENNE. THEY HAVE JUST RETURNED AND THEY GO FOR LUNCH AT THE BRADY FISH MARKET. STEVE IS THERE WITH MARCUS AND KAYLY AND THEY ARE ALL WORRIED ABOUT JACK AND THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE CRUISE BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT HEARD FROM THEM IN DAYS.

SCENE SIX: ON THE ISLAND, JACK IS CHECKING ON JENNIFER'S LEG AGAIN. HE LIFTS THE LEAF AND TAKES A GOOD LOOK. SHE IS GETTING A KICK AT HOW METICULOUS JACK IS BEING.

 

JACK: Huh, uh! Hmmm, huh!

JENNIFER: You know Jack I think you missed your calling. You make a heck of nurse.

JACK: No, you're just a much more co-operative patient, that's all.

 

JENNIFER WINCES IN PAIN.

 

JACK: The fever's breaking. How are you feeling?

JENNIFER: I feel a little better.

JACK: Huh, uh.

JENNIFER: I can't believe those voodoo herbs really work.

JACK: Yeah, well you're not out of the woods yet so just take it easy. Stay put, let me check the wound here.

 

JACK TAKES THE POULTICE OFF THE WOUND.
oldEp162B
JACK: I think we may have just beaten this infection.

JENNIFER: Really! Well let me get up and just see if I can walk.

JACK: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nurse Deveraux in charge here right. Stay put, okay. I don't want you falling down and having a relapse. Look at least, at least let me put a bandage on it, okay, okay.

JENNIFER: What are we going to use?

JACK: Ah, we....we'll....(Beat; thinking)....well, what else will be use.

 

HE LOOKS AT HIS SHIRT AND SHRUGS HIS SHOULDER. HE THEN BEGINS TO PULL AT A TEAR IN THE SLEEVE AND USING HIS TEETH AND HAND HE MANAGES TO PULL OFF A SLEEVE.

 

JACK: Oh nice material, huh. Here we go. This may hurt a bit now. Just kidding.

 

VERY CAREFULLY HE RIPS HER PANTS SO THAT HE CAN GET TO THE WOUND.

 

JACK: Okay.

JENNIFER: Okay.

 

HE BEGINS TO WRAP THE MATERIAL AROUND HER LEG.

 

JACK: At least it matches. You look pretty in pink and pretty in purple, eh!

 

THEY ARE BOTH NERVOUS AS HE TOUCHES HER SO INTIMATELY.

 

JENNIFER: Ouch! Okay.

 

JACK HAS FINISHED WITH THE BANDAGE AND HE IS SURVEYING HIS WORK (OR JENNIFER'S LEG).

 

JACK: It's beautiful. I mean it's....ah....beautiful work. It's a good wrapping job. Good bandage.

 

JENNIFER SUDDENLY GETS A BRIGHT IDEA.

 

JENNIFER: You know what? I think my arm needs a bandage too. See I have a little cut.

 

JACK SQUINTS TO SEE WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT BUT IS ONLY TOO HAPPY TO OBLIGE.

 

JACK: That?

JENNIFER: Yeah, yeah, it hurts a lot.

JACK: Okay. One good sleeve deserves another.

 

JACK RIPS OFF HIS OTHER SLEEVE.

 

JACK: They don't make 'em like they used to. Okay. He wraps the bandage around her arm and holds it tight with his teeth while he ties the knot.

JENNIFER: Oh that's good. You have really good technique, Jack. Great.

JACK: Yeah, just call me Flo-Jo Nightingale.

JENNIFER: You know what, I think you should probably look at my foot too.

JACK: Your foot?

JENNIFER: Yeah, I hurt it too.

JACK: Alright, okay.

JENNIFER: Okay.

JACK: Ah well....this fo....

 

JACK PICKS UP JENNIFER'S LEFT FOOT. JENNIFER IS ENJOYING ALL JACK'S ATTENTION; AND JACK SEEMS TO BE ENJOYING HIMSELF AS WELL.

 

JENNIFER: Ouch!

JACK: Yeah well obviously this one, yes.

JENNIFER: That's it.

JACK: It looks okay to me.

JENNIFER: Yeah it looks okay but it's really sore.

JACK: Oh okay. Okay.

JENNIFER: Oh, ouch!

JACK: I'll just button it.

JENNIFER: Okay.

 

JACK WRAPS THE SLEEVE AROUND HER FOOT AND USES THE BUTTON ON THE CUFF TO SECURE IT.

 

JACK: Yeah, yeah.

JENNIFER: Oh that's great.

JACK: Yeah.

JENNIFER: Great. You know what. I know but I think right here I....

JACK: Your hand?

JENNIFER: Yeah, you see right there.

 

JACK SQUINTS AGAIN TO SEE WHAT SHE MEANS.

 

JACK: Yeah, I see it.

JENNIFER: Okay.

 

THIS TIME JACK RIPS THE COLLAR OFF HIS SHIRT.

 

JENNIFER: Yeah, that'll work.

JACK: Yeah perfect. Yeah. That's it.

JENNIFER: Thank you.

JACK: Sure, anytime.

 

HE WRAPS HER HAND IN HIS COLLAR.

 

JACK: You know something. It's a good thing you don't have too many more parts on your body that are hurting.

JENNIFER: Yeah, I guess the rest of me feels okay. Oh you know what, except maybe my elbow. I think that needs a bandage too.

JACK: Your elbow?

JENNIFER: Yeah.

 

JACK SQUINTS TO LOOK AT THE ELBOW, THERE IS OBVIOUSLY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.

 

JACK: Your elbow. Your elbow....it looks....wait a minute. There's nothing wrong with your elbow. You're just trying to take the shirt off my back. You're....

 

SHE TAKES HIS FACE IN HER HANDS AND PULLS IT TOWARDS HERS.

 

JENNIFER: There's more than one way to minister to the sick Jack.

 

JENNIFER RUBS HER HAND DOWN HIS CHEEK AND CARESSES HIS NECK.

 

JACK: I think you better....ah....you better....better lie down.

JENNIFER: You're right, we should.

 

SHE PULLS HIM TO HER AND KISSES HIM. HE RESPONDS IMMEDIATELY AND BEGINS TO RUN HIS HAND DOWN HER THIGH AND HE TOUCHES THE WOUND ON HER LEG. SHE IMMEDIATELY CRINGES IN PAIN.

 

JENNIFER: OOOOOH! OUCH!

 

JACK FEELS BAD THAT HE HAS HURT HER.

 

JACK: Oh, you're hurt. I hurt....you're hurting right.

JENNIFER: No Jack it's not you, it's my leg, it's my leg.

JACK: You see what I'm saying. You are in no shape for this kind of thing, right. I want you to lie down.

JENNIFER: Jack I'm alright, I'm alright.

JACK: Listen this is Dr. Flo-Jo talking. Lie down and rest. Rest, you need rest.

JENNIFER: I don't need rest, Jack. I need you!

 

JACK STOPS AND LOOKS IN HER EYES.

 

JACK: You don't need to get hurt again.

JENNIFER: Jack you are not going to hurt me.

JACK: Look I was talking about your wounds. I mean you've got enough of them.

 

JENNIFER CARESSES JACK'S NECK AGAIN.
oldEp162C
JENNIFER: We both know why I did that.

JACK: Alright, I'm talking about the wound on your leg. We both know that that's real.

JENNIFER: I may be sick now Jack, but I'm going to be well soon.

JACK: Jennifer.

JENNIFER: And then you're going to run out of excuses. You're not going to be able to hide from the truth anymore.

JACK: Jennifer.

JENNIFER: I won't let you.

SCENE SEVEN: STEVE HAS CALLED THE BRADYS, TOM AND ALICE, AND JO, NEIL ESCORTS HER,TO HIS PLACE TO TELL THEM THAT THERE HAS BEEN NO WORD FROM THE GANG. EVERYONE IS WORRIED. HE PROMISES TO DO ALL HE CAN TO FIND THEM. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT NOT ONLY IS HE WORRIED FOR BO AND HOPE, BUT ESPECIALLY FOR JACK.


SCENE EIGHT: JO GOES WITH NEIL TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE SHE RUNS INTO ADRIENNE AND JUSTIN, AND CARLY. SHE TELLS ADRIENNE ABOUT JACK, WHO BECOMES VERY WORRIED ABOUT HER BROTHER. CARLY IS AT THE HOSPITAL IN HOPES OF COMING PART OF THE STAFF, THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS ABOUT HER: SHE IS HIDING SOMETHING.

 

[Transcribed by Carol Vaughan
added material by Sally A. Wilson]