oldEpisode Three-hundred-thirty-seven: Feeling
Guilty, Jack Tries His Best to Give Jennifer
a Wonderful Birthday; but Hawk Lets Her
Know That Jack Forgot. Jennifer Is Angry
at Jack, and Thinks Even More of Hawk.

---

[Air date early September 1991]

 

SCENE ONE: STILL JENNIFER'S BIRTHDAY NIGHT AND JACK STILL IS NOT HOME. SHE IS WANDERING THE APARTMENT, STILL DRESSED READY TO GO OUT. SHE PICKS UP THE BOLO THAT HAWK GAVE HER.

 

HAWK: Did you decide what you're going to wear with it?

JENNIFER: No, no actually I haven't. But I want to thank you again for giving it to me. It was very sweet.

HAWK: Yeah, well I really wanted to rustle you up a cake but heck you people don't have anything in the way of supplies around here.

JENNIFER: It's alright. I don't need a cake.

HAWK: Ah, sure you do, you do. You know what, we just got to figure out a way to.... I tell you what, us cowboys, we know exactly how to make things do.

 

HE STRIKES A CIGARETTE LIGHTER AND HOLDS IT UP TO HER.

 

HAWK: Jennifer, your birthday candle. Blow it out.

 

SHE HALF SMILES.

 

HAWK: Well come on blow it out. Let's see what you're made of.

 

SHE GENTLY BLOWS IT OUT.

 

HAWK: Good. But you know what, every ceremony has to have a wish behind it.

JENNIFER: A wish?

HAWK: Yeah.

JENNIFER: Alright, I'll....

 

SHE SHUTS HER EYES.

 

JENNIFER: Okay, done.

HAWK: Oh wait, wait, I don't know really what you did to deserve this but I'm going to give it a shot.

 

HE BEGINS TO SING QUIETLY TO HER.

 

HAWK: Happy birthday to you, cha, cha, happy birthday....

 

SHE STARTS TO GET EVEN SADDER.

 

HAWK: I'm not going to do it to you. I'm not going to inflict my caterwauling on you like this.

JENNIFER: No, it's okay. I liked it.

HAWK: I didn't even see just a glimmer of a little smile across your face. Jennifer I hate seeing you looking down like this.

JENNIFER: You know Hawk, don't feel sorry for me, alright. It's Jack that you should pity because he's going to need it when I get through with him. Hawk, would you excuse me?

HAWK: Wait, wait Jennifer, where are you going?

JENNIFER: Well I don't think there's any need for me to be dressed up like this when the party that I was expecting isn't going to happen. So I'm going to go change.

HAWK: Well you're turning in, huh?

JENNIFER: Yeah.

HAWK: Well happy birthday Jennifer.

JENNIFER: Well thank you again Hawk.

HAWK: Well don't go thanking me anymore. I mean it's really not that much of a present.

JENNIFER: Not just for the tie. For making me feel like I have something to celebrate.... or trying to anyway.

 

SHE GOES INTO THE BEDROOM AND HAWK GOES OVER TO THE PHONE AND DIALS.

 

HAWK: Come on, pick up his phone.

SCENE TWO: AT THE SPECTATOR, JACK AS FALLEN ASLEEP ON THE COUCH. HE STIRS AFTER THE PHONE HAS RUNG QUITE A FEW TIMES.

 

JACK: Oh Jennifer, go on. (Beat) Oh, oh, oh, wait a minute. Ouch, ouch.

 

HE STRUGGLES TO HIS FEET.

 

JACK: Hello, yeah, hello, what is this, who is this?

HAWK: You know what, you better get over here right now.

JACK: Wait a minute, what.... where is here?

HAWK: Huh?

JACK: Where is here? Who is this?

HAWK: It's me, Hawk.

JACK: Hawk? Hawk, what do you want?

HAWK: Well it's not what I want, it's what that sweet little lady here wants. you to celebrate her birthday with her.

 

SUDDENLY JACK REMEMBERS.

 

JACK: Birthday!!!!

HAWK: Yeah.

JACK: It's her birthday?

HAWK: Yeah, I can't believe you forgot.

JACK: No I didn't. I didn't forget. I didn't forget. I got it right here. It's....

 

HE GRABS THE DATE OUT OF THE TRASH.

 

JACK: .... it's right.... it's right here on my desk, on my calendar. It's circled in red. I couldn't forget that and I know only a fool.... would forget that.

HAWK: Yeah, you know what I'd give you a little good advice my good friend. I mean if I were you, I'd do something very lavish for her.

JACK: Let me tell you something, you're not me. And if try spreading this canard about me forgetting Jennifer's birthday I'm going to throw you right out in the street.

HAWK: Well she'd never hear it from me. I mean I certainly don't want to be the one to break her heart.

JACK: You leave her heart to me, alright.

 

JACK HANGS UP.

SCENE THREE: BACK AT THE PENTHOUSE, HAWK HANGS UP, HE IS VERY HAPPY THAT HE HAS MANAGED TO MANIPULATE JACK, AND CAUSE AN UP COMING FIGHT BETWEEN HIM AND JENNIFER.

 

HAWK: Oh I will. You can count on that Jackie boy.

 

HE THEN DECIDES THAT HE WILL PUT THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON HIS PLAN. HE WRITES JACK'S OFFICE PHONE NUMBER ON A PIECE OF PAPER AND LEAVES IT BESIDE THE PHONE SO THAT JENNIFER WILL FIND IT.

SCENE FOUR: A SHORT TIME LATER, THE PHONE RINGS. JENNIFER HAS CHANGED INTO A ROBE BUT SHE HURRIES TO THE PHONE.

 

JENNIFER: Hello.

 

SHE CAN HEAR JACK'S VOICE.

 

JENNIFER: Jack?

 

AT THE SPECTATOR, JACK IS SURROUNDED BY SHOP ASSISTANTS WHO ARE SHOWING HIM LAVISH PIECES OF JEWELRY AND GIFTS FOR HIM TO CHOOSE FROM.

JACK: No, more, bigger, flashier.... ah Jennifer, Jennifer.

JENNIFER: Jack, who are you talking to?

JACK: Ah, you.... um I like that. I do.

JENNIFER: Well I don't. Where are you? (Beat) Jack?

JACK: Better make it the big size.

JENNIFER: Jack?

JACK: Ah, ah, hello Jennifer I'm sorry I didn't hear you.

JENNIFER: I said, where are you?

JACK: Um, you didn't get my message?

JENNIFER: No, no, what message?

JACK: YOU DIDN'T! Damn that Vern, I'm going to dock his salary.

 

ALL THE WHILE, JACK IS SELECTING JEWELRY, PERFUME AND LINGERIE FOR JENNIFER WHILE HE TALKS.

 

JACK: Yes, Vern was supposed to tell you that I.... he was supposed to give you a message. I had an incredible, fabulous.... fabulous celebration planned for.... for your birthday. And oh it was just going to be the two of us, no expense spared.

JENNIFER: Wait a minute, you really said.... you really said no expenses spared?

JACK: Cross my heart and ah.... well it is your first birthday as a Deveraux.

JENNIFER: I knew that you remembered my birthday Jack. I knew you did.

JACK: Oh sure I did. I mean we had candles lit and champagne chilling and the whole nine yards and well Vern just dropped the ball. It's a shame.

JENNIFER: Oh no, no, no. Maybe not.

JACK: What?

JENNIFER: Well look the night's not over yet. I could be ready in two minutes Jack and I could meet you.

 

JACK'S A BIT WORRIED ABOUT THIS BECAUSE HE HAS NOTHING PLANNED.

 

JACK: Where?

JENNIFER: Oh come on, you don't have to pretend anymore. I know that that business meeting was all a fraud. You were just planning a party for me at Wings, that's what you were doing.

JACK: Wings! Well of course. That's where I am right now, at Wings. But I'll tell you something, I really don't think you should come down here. It's almost empty now. The place is going in minutes.

JENNIFER: No, Wings never closes this early Jack. You.... I'm going to change. You stay there and wait for me, alright. Goodbye.

 

SHE HANGS UP AND JACK IS REALLY SCARED NOW. HE TELLS EVERYBODY IN HIS OFFICE THAT HE WILL TAKE THE LOT AND HE HURRIES OUT TO GET TO WINGS BEFORE JENNIFER.

 

JACK: Oh, oh, oh no, oh no. Please, I'll take those things alright. Yes, I'll take those things. Just wrap them up quick. Wrap them up and I'll take them, all of them.

 

HE GETS OUT HIS WALLET WITH SOME RELUCTANCE.

 

JACK: Oh.... oh.

 

HE HANDS OVER THE MONEY FOR ALL THE LAVISH GIFTS.

SCENE FIVE: A VERY SHORT TIME LATER HE RUNS INTO WINGS LOADED WITH GIFTS AND CALLS JULIE.

 

JACK: Julie, Julie, Julie!

JULIE: What, is there an emergency?

JACK: I've been here all night.

JULIE: Jack you just got here.

JACK: No, no, you have to act like I've been here all night waiting for Jennifer.

JULIE: You forgot her birthday, didn't you?

JACK: No I didn't.

 

JULIE RAISES HER EYEBROWS AT HIM.

 

JACK: Well.... just for a moment. But it was just.... it was just a breakdown in communication.

JULIE: Jack!

JACK: Look you don't want to see her suffer.... or me. Please do the honorable thing, lie!

JULIE: I don't want to hurt her, of course not.

JACK: Good, good, then tell your staff, tell everybody.

JULIE: Alright, I will cover for you up to a point but when it comes to lying this little scenario of yours is going to fold out of town.

 

THE MANAGER INTERRUPTS.

 

MANAGER: The chef is going after the kitchen staff again.

JULIE: Is he armed?

MANAGER: With the big cleaver.

 

THERE IS A BIG CRASH FROM THE KITCHEN.

 

MANAGER: Oh, they're using lobster pots as shields.

JULIE: I hate it when this happens.

 

SHE TURNS TO JACK.

 

JULIE: You're very lucky that I love my cousin

 

SO MUCH. JULIE RUNS TO THE KITCHEN AND JACK HANDS ALL THE GIFTS TO THE MANAGER.

 

JACK: Here.

MANAGER: Do you want me to turn up the air-conditioning? You're sweating.

JACK: It's alright.

SCENE SIX: A SHORT TIME LATER, JENNIFER ARRIVES.

 

JENNIFER: Jack?

 

HE TURNS TO HER AND SHE IS DRESSED AGAIN IN THE PALE PINK COCKTAIL DRESS. THEY BOTH GRIN AND JACK EXTENDS HIS ARMS AROUND HER.

 

JACK: HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

 

HE KISSES BOTH HER CHEEKS.

 

JENNIFER: Thank you Jack, thank you so much.

DAVE: Julie said to give you biggest birthday celebration in the history of American Theater. Do you know what she meant by that?

JACK: I think she meant that we need to get our table, the one that I ordered a long time ago. (To Jennifer) So sorry about this mix-up. Heheheh.

JENNIFER: It doesn't matter anymore because now we're here.

 

THEY BOTH SIT DOWN.

 

DAVE: Now for that special dinner. We have Sproswell patØ and Maine lobster.

JACK: Oh, well.

DAVE: They say it's worth every hideously expensive bite.

 

JACK ALMOST CHOKES AT THE THOUGHT OF HOW MUCH THIS IS GOING TO COST.

 

JENNIFER: Oh Jack, what's wrong? What's the matter?

JACK: Nooothing. Nothing, it was just a crumb in my throat.

JENNIFER: Jack you were just ordering food like money was going out of style and as far as you're concerned money never goes out of style.

JACK: No, that's not true. I mean money to me is just a means to the end. I mean, in this case, the end is the celebration of my wife's birthday.

JENNIFER: Do you really mean that?

JACK: Every word.

 

HE IS STILL CHOKING A BIT. THEY TOAST EACH OTHER WITH A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE AND THEN JACK GETS OUT HIS GIFTS.

JACK: How about some presents?

JENNIFER: Yes, I love presents.

JACK: Yes, okay, here we go. One, two, three, four.

JENNIFER: Four? You got me four presents Jack?

JACK: No, and.... and five, right here.

JENNIFER: I can't believe this. And you know I actually thought that you forgot about my birthday.

JACK: Forgot your birthday? What kind of cad do you take me for?

JENNIFER: Jack, I'm sorry. I mean I really apologize, I really do. Hawk was right.

JACK: Hawk?

 

JACK IS ANGRY AT THE MENTION OF HIS NAME.

 

JENNIFER: Yes he was telling me the whole evening that you would never forget my birthday.

JACK: The whole evening?

JENNIFER: Huh, huh. He even gave me this silly little birthday celebration of my very own.

JACK: Heheh. Silly little birthday.

JENNIFER: Yes, he didn't have any candles so he made me blow out the flame on his lighter.

JACK: Oh and they call me cheap, huh.

 

IT IS OBVIOUS THAT JACK THINKS HAWK HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE WHOLE BUSINESS OF DISTRACTING HIM.

 

JENNIFER: But the whole night he kept telling me how much you loved me and how you'd come through for me one way or another. He thinks a lot of you Jack.

JACK: Yeah, well, you know the feelings are not mutual.

JENNIFER: You know what, let's not get into that tonight.

JACK: I don't know what you're talking about.

JENNIFER: I don't want you to get jealous over nothing.

JACK: Okay, alright, what's a little lighter fluid between friends.

JENNIFER: Jack look it was very sweet of him to do that. He cheered me up. But my real celebration is here with you.

 

SHE TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT. JACK FEELS GUILTY.

 

JACK: Well come on, let's open some presents here.

JENNIFER: Alright.

JACK: Alright.

JENNIFER: You must have been shopping for two weeks Jack.

JACK: Oh at least, maybe longer.

JENNIFER: Okay, which one?

JACK: Right here, please.

JENNIFER: This one?

JACK: Yeah. That's my personal favorite.

JENNIFER: Okay. (Beat) Oh my gosh!

 

SHE HOLDS UP A BEAUTIFUL GOLD ROPE NECKLACE WITH A DIAMOND CENTERPIECE.

 

JENNIFER: Jack, I can't...this is beautiful. I can't believe you got this for me.

 

JACK IS HAPPY TO SEE HOW THRILLED SHE IS WITH HIS GIFTS BUT HE STILL FEELS GUILTY. THEY FINISH DINNER.

SCENE SEVEN: JACK AND JENNIFER ARRIVE BACK AT THE PENTHOUSE WHERE HAWK IS STILL UP READING.

 

JENNIFER: Whoa!

JACK: Here.

 

THEY COME IN AND JENNIFER IS LOADED WITH GIFTS.

 

HAWK: Well, hey you kids, what's going on here?

JENNIFER: Oh it's just that we had a great time and Jack got me all these great presents.

HAWK: Very nice.

JACK: Yes, well your approval means everything to me. Why don't we go to the room.... our room . You know the only one we can still call our own.

JENNIFER: Alright, I'll be right there. I'm just going to check if we have any messages, okay Jack.

 

SHE PUTS DOWN THE GIFTS AND WALKS OVER TO THE DESK WHERE HAWK HAS DELIBERATELY LEFT JACK'S PHONE NUMBER IN HIS HANDWRITING.

 

JENNIFER: Oh, no messages. But what is....

 

SHE PICKS UP HAWK'S NOTE.

 

JENNIFER: Um, did you write this?

HAWK: What's that?

JENNIFER: Did you write Jack's office number down on this pad?

HAWK: Ah.... huh, huh.

JENNIFER: Um, you didn't by any chance call him to remind him that it was my birthday, did you?

 

HAWK CONTINUES TO MANINUPATE THE SITUATION EVEN MORE. HE IS REALLY ENJOYNG MAKING JACK LOOK BAD.

 

HAWK: Ah, so what? Ah, you know.... I mean you know a lot of guys that aren't even half as busy as Jack just do forget birthdays.

 

JENNIFER JUST NODS BUT SHE IS HURT AND ANGRY. JACK CALLS OUT FROM THEIR BEDROOM.

 

JACK: JENNIFER.... JENNIFER!

JENNIFER: I'll be there in just a minute.

JACK: Right, I'm just waiting.

JENNIFER: (To Hawk) If you'll excuse me, I feel the need for some air.

HAWK: Okay.

 

SHE WALKS OUT ONTO THE BALCONY AND HAWK FOLLOWS.

 

HAWK: You know you probably shouldn't really hold this against Jack.

JENNIFER: Yeah, well then you're much more forgiving than I am.

HAWK: Well.... would you rather be left alone?

JENNIFER: No, I'm okay. I'm not going to stay out here anyway.

HAWK: You going back into Jack?

JENNIFER: Yeah.

HAWK: Well you know, if I were you I probably wouldn't even mention that it happened.

JENNIFER: No, I don't intend to.

HAWK: No?

JENNIFER: Uh, uh. I'm not going to argue with my husband on my birthday.

HAWK: You know my mom always said, don't go to bed angry.

JENNIFER: I am not angry. I'm....

 

HER EYES FILL WITH TEARS.

 

JENNIFER: Never mind. Goodnight Hawk.

HAWK: Goodnight.

JENNIFER: You were very nice to me.

HAWK: Well, I just think you should have what you deserve and that's a happy birthday and many more.

JENNIFER: Thank you Hawk.

 

SHE GOES BACK TO THE BEDROOM AND HAWK IS MORE THAN HAPPY THAT HE HAS CAUSED MORE TROUBLE BETWEEN THEM BY USING JENNIFER'S NAÏVETÉ.

SCENE EIGHT: A SHORT TIME LATER, JACK AND JENNIFER ARE BOTH IN BED. THEY ARE EACH LYING ON THEIR RESPECTIVE SIDES STARING AT THE CEILING. JACK TURNS TO HER, TAKES HER HAND AND PULLS HER OVER WITH HER HEAD ON HIS CHEST. HE SENSES SOMETHING IS WRONG.

 

JACK: Well I guess your birthday got off to kind of.... kind of a late start.

JENNIFER: Huh, huh.

JACK: Well I just hope that it turned out to be everything you hoped it would be.

 

JENNIFER IS SILENT.

JACK: Jennifer?

JENNIFER: It did.... everything. (Beat) Goodnight Jack.

JACK: Night.

 

SHE ROLLS BACK OVER AWAY FROM HIM AND TURNS OFF THE LAMP. SHE REACHES DOWN AND TOUCHES THE BOLO THAT HAWK GAVE HER.

OUTSIDE. HAWK STRIKES HIS LIGHTER AND THINKS BACK OVER THE DAY WITH PLEASURE.